


From the Ground Up

by Shattered_worth



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: AncientMagic, Angst, F/M, Fear, Harry Potter - Freeform, Light BDSM, Love, Pain, Slytherin/teacher, SlytherinStudent, Student/Teacher, Torture, Violence, Wands, bond, challenge, dumbledore - Freeform, hermione granger - Freeform, ron weasley - Freeform, voldemort - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-02
Updated: 2018-06-02
Packaged: 2019-05-17 04:22:30
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply, Underage
Chapters: 17
Words: 56,539
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14825159
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shattered_worth/pseuds/Shattered_worth
Summary: The darkness is within every soul—it is their choice to fight it or to use it. With Voldemort becoming more of a threat with each day, darkness hovers over Hogwarts. As Dumbledore depends on his faithful spy, Severus Snape, a discovery is made about his future that affects his decision to willingly give his life for the greater good. In the end, it is a choice we must all make alone, and Severus bears the hardest decision of all.





	1. Chapter One

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, my loves, Shattered_worth here. As I have always been a huge fan of Harry Potter and the Queen, JKR, herself, I have decided to write a novel of my own based off of the beautiful world she has created. Severus Snape has been my favorite character from the start, mostly because I could always sense a depth to him, and as most of us know, he was a complex man. While it is a massive challenge, I hope I can bring Snape into a different light. Maintaining his coarse nature and respected persona, He is introduced into a way of life he never thought he could have again. The choice is his, to let himself fall, or to be dragged down in the fight. I hope you enjoy, and, of course, I own nothing but the characters I introduce throughout the books, which will be noted in each chapter. I’d also thought I’d pop in a playlist of all the songs I listen to while writing each chapter, which i will place here in the notes. Thank you for reading!  
> Refuge—Canyon City  
> Trouble—Coldplay  
> In Your Arms—Felix Riebl ft. Martha Wainwright

The wind whistled back and forth between the open corridors of the castle, creating an eerie soundtrack to match the background. The sky was painted gray, mingled with thick brushstrokes of clouds that thundered above the lake in the near distance. It had just started sprinkling, the water splashing against the cold stone like rhythmic beats. She stood in the archway of the columns, looking out over the landscape of the castle and watching the storm brew. Her hair was curling from the humidity, the tendrils around her face taking the shape of spirals while the rest turned upwards into sculpted waves. It was the natural shape of her hair, but she tried to tame it as best she could when in public. The straightening charm hadn’t done much for her that day, so she embraced the texture whilst leaning forward against the half-wall. Classes were over anyhow. Her lids fluttered shut as the wind began to sting her eyes, mostly from its growing intensity. She drew a deep breath, reveling in the smell of fresh rain mingled with autumn. The first task would take place soon, and she could only hope that Harry did not get seriously hurt. She prayed none of the champions would, but Harry was younger, and she believed he didn’t place his name in the goblet. It was unpopular opinion, but it did not make sense to her for him to do such a thing. He was one soul who wouldn’t volunteer for eternal glory, as he already had it with the destruction of the Dark Lord. As for adventure, he’d nearly been killed every year while at Hogwarts, and so she couldn’t imagined he’d long for that. She tugged her Slytherin cloak closer to her, grateful for the extra insulation it offered her. Her eyes darted towards the end of the corridor at the sound of footsteps, making her straighten her posture and recoil from the wall. Professor Snape emerged from the darkness, his face contorted into a scowl as he quickly scanned over his student. His appearance was nothing short of typical for him. His body was fully covered and clad in an inky black ensemble, the hints of a crisp white button up peaking out ever so slightly around his wrists. His hair, disheveled as ever, and greasy from his slaving over various potions all day, blew slightly in the wind, but even nature seemed to fear him as the air hardly touched him. His very gaze instilled fear, those midnight colored eyes seemingly pierced the soul of whomever they settled on. 

“ Miss Hellstrand,” he quipped, his voice a mixture of velvet and glass, slicing his target while caressing them with dark tendrils of warning. 

She bowed her head politely, recognizing his authority over her without speaking. Everyone feared Professor Snape, even Gryffindors. Sure, people mocked him and despised him, but if they sensed his presence, even the likes of Malfoy paid him respect. He seemed to ignore her small gesture before eyeing her again. 

“ What are you doing alone, here?” He snarled, his head nodding sharply to the landscape of the campus. 

“ I wanted to get some fresh air, Professor. The other corridors were getting direct rain,” she answered truthfully. 

His expression contorted into stoic annoyance. 

“ Be careful of your little walks, Miss Hellstrand, one might suspect you of something,” he retorted darkly. 

She swallowed nervously, but bowed her head,” Of course, Professor. I’ll be on my way.” 

And she did as she said, moving swiftly away from the wall before walking quietly past the Potions Master and down another corridor to the library. She longed for the peacefulness of silence and solitude, as it was so often ripped from her in the form of bullies. She found herself, alone, resting in a chair directly before a large display of books, with her arms folded over a familiar tome on the Origin of Magic, one of her favorite titles. Her eyes leisurely scanned over each word, drinking up the information eagerly without regard for time or company. After nearly forty pages of dense text, she’d begun to tire, her eyes dropping restlessly shut, only to reopen every few minutes. She wasn’t yet ready to leave the comfort of the library, but with the seemingly revolving door as students went in and out, she assumed it was nearing dinner. With a sigh, she stood from the chair, stretching with a wince as her bones creaked from lack of movement. She lifted the book carefully, watching the charm take over gravity before returning it to its rightful spot on the shelf. Her eyes landed on the stone flooring as she walked to the Great Hall. She spotted Dani at the Slytherin table, and with a small grin she made her way to the brown-headed girl. The rich chocolate locks smoothed delicately over the back of her Slytherin robes and stopped near the middle of her shoulder blade. Her caramel skin glowed beneath the flattering light of the flickering candles, making her all the more appealing to the boys. The girl puckered her lips into a wistful smile when Alyssa sat down beside her, and her hazel eyes glimmered with mirth and excitement. 

“ What?” Alyssa inquired nervously, glancing down at her clothing to ensure they were free of wrinkles. 

“ Where have you been? I’ve been wanting to tell you something,” she grinned. 

Alyssa shrugged, as if to brush off her absence carelessly,” What is it?” 

“ That bloke from Durmstrang, Nikolas Aven?” She proposed, searching Alyssa’s face for recognition. 

She nodded her remembrance of him, scanning the Durmstrang table for the boy’s darker complexion. 

“ He asked me to Hogsmeade this weekend. I said yes, of course. I can’t pass up that opportunity when the Yule Ball is so close, and I just know that if I go with him now, he’ll ask me then, and—Alyssa?” Dani frowned, pausing from her rambling. 

“ Hm? I’m listening. Yule Ball, What is that?” She responded, avoiding eye contact with the older Slytherin girls sitting down the table from them. 

Dani’s eyes widened in shock before smacking Alyssa thoughtlessly on the shoulder. The girl winced, but Dani didn’t seem to notice. 

“ The Yule Ball? Oh, only the single most important social event you’ll ever attend at Hogwarts! The dance, Alyssa! The one where we are all destined to meet our true loves and dance under the stars, and snog in the corridor after curfew—are you listening? Where’s your head at?” Dani groaned. 

Alyssa rolled her eyes,” Yes, yes, I’m listening. Just because I’m not looking directly at you does not mean you do not have my full, undivided attention—Dani!—“ 

Alyssa glared at her friend as she snatched the spoon out of her hand before piling on a helping of potatoes onto her friends plate, which Alyssa had been taking her time with. 

“ There,” Dani shrugged,” Anyway, you get all dressed up and then you go dance the night away in the Great Hall with a boy.” 

“ And you want to go with this...Nikolas, a stranger?” Alyssa inquired curiously. 

“ Well, he won’t be a stranger after this weekend,” Dani stated, as though that were obvious. 

“ Right,” Alyssa agreed, her tone dripping with sarcasm. 

“ You don’t think I should?” She fretted, her hand reaching out and latching onto Alyssa’s wrist. 

Alyssa narrowed her eyes at the gesture but merely shook her hold off. 

“ I didn’t say that,” Alyssa refuted vaguely. 

“ You were thinking it. If not him, then who do you think I should go with?” 

“ I don’t know, Dani. I just thought you and Tomas were hitting it off well,” she shrugged. 

“ Tomas?” She asked, caught off guard by the name. 

“ Tomas,” Dani hummed, as if mulling over the idea,” I never considered him really. He’s a friend, you know. My older brother’s friend. I didn’t even...” 

Alyssa laughed coyly,” You put him out of your mind because of his ties with your brother?” 

“ Mason is very protective of me,” Dani cut in annoyance,” He’d have a fit if he thought Tomas and I were involved.” 

“ Yes, well, Mason is only a little over a year older than you. What’s it matter how he feels so long as you and Tomas like each other. Speaking of which, where is he?” Alyssa frowned, glancing around the table. 

Dani huffed,” Detention, with Snape. Told him to arrive fifteen minutes before dinner ended so as not to be late.” 

“ He was late to class, wasn’t he?” Alyssa replied knowingly, it was Snape’s way, after all, to punish in the same form of their disruptance when possible. 

“ Yeah, got caught up with a Gryffindor, disagreeing over whether Harry would or wouldn’t survive the first task.” 

Alyssa’s eyes narrowed at Dani warningly, making the girl raise her hands in surrender,” What? Tomas is on Harry’s side.” 

“ I’m worried for him. He’s only fourteen. We’re seventeen, and I’d still be afraid to compete,” Alyssa stated. 

“ Harry’s experienced for his age though. Smart, especially with that Granger at his side. I imagine Dumbledore and McGonagall are helping in every way they can, too,” Dani commented, her eyes falling on her untouched dessert. 

“ I hope so,” came Alyssa’s mumbles reply,” I hope so.”


	2. Chapter Two

She awoke with a violent start, her skin damp with sweat from the nightmare. Her eyes flickered over to Dani, finding the girl still sleeping despite her cries. Her breathing was ragged, but she moved into the bathroom, hoping a cool shower would soothe her. Leaning back against the cold tile, she drew deep breaths and exhaled them slowly. Her eyes were trained on the bronze faucet emerging from the wall, and she focused on the water to distract herself. It was nearly six, meaning she’d have to wake up soon, anyhow. Instead of waiting for Dani, she dried off, dressed, and brushed her teeth before walking down to the library. It wasn’t entirely uncommon for her to be up before her friend, as the nightmares plagued her sleep often. She smiled politely at the librarian, distantly wondering if the woman knew of her troubles, as she always seemed to have such a pathetic look in her eye when greeting her.

Shaking the thoughts from her head, she situated herself in her usual spot, with her favorite book to read for a while longer. The door to the library opened swiftly, revealing Neville Longbottom, a Fourth year Gryffindor looking particularly intense.

“ Looking for something?” Alyssa called out gently while watching the boy walk back and forth between the aisles.

His head snapped up abruptly and he nodded, glancing around as if he feared someone overhearing.

“ You can trust me,” she offered kindly, closing the book with a soft thud before standing.

“ I’m worried about Harry. He says he’s fine—doesn’t want anybody near him right now. Ron’s been having a go at him,” he explained briefly.

Alyssa nodded understandingly,” The first task is today,” she noted.

It was the reason they didn’t have class that day, yet they were still required to dress out in their uniforms and be present for breakfast. Classes would resumed the next day, after the first task took place. Neville nodded.

“ I feel helpless. No one knows what the task is or where. I know Harry didn’t put his name in, I believe him,” Neville promised, as if trying to convince himself.

“ So do I,” Alyssa agreed.

“ But Harry can get confident, and—“

“ Confidence is good; Cockiness is not,” she supplied.

He sighed, his shoulders slumping pitifully.

“ I heard the first task will take place on an upgraded version of the Quidditch field. They constructed the arena last night. I heard some...unusual animal noises from my dormitory—sounds echo under water,” she smiled gently.

It was true. With the Slytherin common rooms being submerged beneath the lake, the noises form the Forbidden Forrest were magnified. It was another downside to being down there, that, and the cold. Neville’s face lit up at the thought of being helpful to Harry. He rushed over and gave Alyssa a quick hug.

“ Thank you!” He grinned, running from the library excitedly despite the woman behind the desk ordering him to be quiet.

Alyssa giggled and shook her head disapprovingly before returning the book to its shelf. At least she could help, she thought. She entered the Great Hall for breakfast casually, her eyes scanning over the table to find Dani with her face buried in her arms sleepily.

“ Wakey, Wakey,” Alyssa chimed warningly, glancing up at the staff table to see Snape watching his students to ensure perfect behavior.

Dani sat up, eyes half closed while dumping sugar onto her eggs. Alyssa covered her mouth to keep from giving away the fold of events, and watched Dani shove a bite into her mouth.

“ Ugh!” She spat, rubbing her tongue with her napkin desperately, the sound of her chomping on sugar crystals quite loud in Alyssa’s ear.

“ That was rude,” Dani huffed.

“ I didn’t do it!” Alyssa returned, appalled by her reaction.

“ No, but you watched in silence. That’s just as bad,” she pointed out.

Alyssa couldn’t argue there so she took a bite of toast instead.

“ I’m going to tell Nikolas that I can’t go with him this weekend,” she sighed.

Alyssa’s brows knitted together,” What? Why?”

“ You were right, and don’t ask because I won’t say it again,” she held her hand up pointedly.

Alyssa smiled,” About what?”

“ I didn’t realize how fond I was of Tomas until you told me. I always thought of him as such an amazing person, and I’ve always fancied him. I suppose I just never admitted it to myself because of Mason. But, I’m going to pursue him. If it doesn’t pan out then, fine, but at least I tried, right?” Alyssa nodded her agreement, thinking hard on Dani’s statement.

It was good advice for any situation really. Breakfast flew by and before they knew it, the girls were walking together to the Quidditch field, shocked by how quickly the extra staging had been assembled. Then again, magic did exist, so it probably didn’t take much effort. They took their seats near the box with the Professors, thinking they were probably safest there considering how high up they were. That’s when they noticed the dragons, chained and contained in giant metal boxes—the bars made of enchanted iron to prevent melting or the destruction of the cage. Each one looked different, the next more terrifying than the last. While one had razor sharp claws, the other had brilliant teeth, donning several rows of the yellowed bone. A third had ridges all down his back, decorated with an abstract color. They all ranged in color and shape, but their size seemed to match. They were enormous, terrifying, and powerful creatures. And the champions were to face them.

“ Good morning, students, and welcome to the first task. Today, each champion will have to face a dragon that they have drawn at random. They will go separately, with the sole purpose of collecting the egg protected by their dragon. Whoever succeeds, wins the challenge, if more than one succeeds, the score will be based of who finished the mission faster. Up first is Viktor Krum, the Durmstrang Champion!” Crouch announced via a voice magnifiying spell.

Suddenly, one of the dragons was released from the cage, and as he roared his viscous head, he moved into the arena. His tale wrapped around the egg protectively, snarling and letting out spurts of smoke at anything that moved near it. Viktor emerged from the tent, his wand secured in front of him and his eyes trained on the creature. He took a deep breath, composing himself before lunging toward the dragon. It blew fire from its mouth, igniting the rocks the boy had hidden behind. Many student stood trying to spot Viktor from behind the clouds of smoke, and everyone breathed a sigh of relief when he flung himself to the next set, untouched by the flames. This continued for several minutes as he eased closer and closer to the giant. Once he was about forty yards away, he rocketed off a variety of spells, sending the dragon to its belly with a bellowing whine. Cautiously, Viktor snaked up behind it and snagged the golden egg from its grasp. He raised it with a victorious grin, showcasing his win excitedly.

Next was Fleur Delacaur. The girl was a surprising candidate, though she didn’t display much school. After carefully avoiding the creature by means of a silencing charm, she crossed the distance between it and the egg, and pulled the monster to sleep with a spell. She lifted the egg to show her friends from Beauxbaton, but her time had been significantly longer than Viktor’s resulting in a temporary second place, which Cedric took when he exited the tent.

He handled the dragon differently, tackling it head on to create a diversion as he magicked the egg away and into his possession. He transfigured a rock into a much more dragon-like egg to return to the creatures and she willingly accepted his trade, curling around it happily as he waved the true prize around.

The last contestant had sent everyone into a fit, as the dragon tore half the arena apart and blaze down another section after flying over it, chasing Potter into the sky and over the school. He was gone for nearly ten minutes before reappearing from the clouds and landing with egg in hand. Alyssa glanced to McGonagall who let out a deep breath, one she’d been holding for quite some time. Dumbledore seemed pleased as well, relieved that his prized student had made it through the challenge. Most of the students disappeared with the boy, cheering in on the whole way to Gryffindor common room to disappear until dinner. Lunch had been provided in the arena seeing as the the tournament lasted so long, and Alyssa and Dani made the trail back to the castle in comfortable silence. Classes would reconvene the following day, and the girls had yet to write their Potions essay, so they headed to their dormitory to do it. 

Nearly two hours later, they had finished and emerged for dinner in relief. 

“ I hate Potions,” Dani frowned. 

Alyssa smiled,” I don’t. I don’t like writing essays, but I like Potions.” 

“ Oh, shut it,” Dani retorted dryly. 

Alyssa laughed, shrugging her shoulders,” It’s what I want to do. That or teach Defense.” 

“ Good luck fighting Snape for that one,” Dani laughed, making Alyssa narrow her eyes. 

“ What makes you think I’d stay here?” 

Dani snorted,” Yeah, where else would you go? Durmstrang?” Dani mocked the Scandinavian accent and a soldier salute. 

Alyssa flushed and looked away. 

“ Or Beauxbaton,” she sighed dreamily, mimicking the release of a dove from her hand. 

“ No, you’ll stay here,” Dani sang confidently. 

“ I could go to the states,” she stated curtly. 

Dani scrunched her nose,” And be hung for Witchcraft?” 

“ Do they still do that?” Alyssa asked worriedly. 

“ Dunno. I’d say your best bet is here, darling.”

As dinner came to a close, Dani walked away with Tomas, giggling lightly at whatever he was saying before looping her arm in his. Alyssa glanced around frantically, noticing the older Slytherin girls were whispering as they approached her. Frightened, she fled the hall, walking down the corridor to the Slytherin dormitory. The others were too quick, their legs too long as they easily caught up with her. 

 

“ Hey, Hellstrand. Planning on going to the ball?” Coraline sneered, her green eyes lighting with humor. 

 

“ No,” Alyssa responded swiftly, turning again in effort to ignore the three girls as they approached. 

“ No?” Gayla snarled, whipping Alyssa around against the wall with a harsh shove. 

The girl winced, recoiling away as Maddie, the fair-headed girl leaned forward, her face inches from Alyssa’s. 

“ Oh, I think you should,” she smiled sweetly before glancing down at her clothes. 

A feigned expression of sadness crossed her face as she kicked Alyssa in shin, and she hurriedly turned back to her friends. 

“ Girls, Hellstrand doesn’t have anything to wear for the ball! We have to help her,” Maddie smirked. 

Coraline grinned,” Let’s take her to the bathroom for privacy.” 

They towed Alyssa to the bathroom, Maddie digging her wand into her back to make her walk. Her eyes screwed shut fearfully as they steered her into Moaning Myrtle’s bathroom, but the ghost seemed to be nowhere in sight. Gayla turned on the faucet of the Prefect’s bath with a snarl. 

“ I think we should bathe her first. You can’t be pretty without being clean,” she giggled, her voice tightening at the thought. 

Alyssa trembled, trying to wrench herself from Maddie’s grasp, to no avail. 

“ Please,” she begged, tearfully. 

“ Sorry, what’s that?” Coraline hummed, turned to face Alyssa with her wand pointed in her face. 

Her eyes widned when she was hit with a silencing charm, taking her voice completely away from her indefinitely. She opened her mouth, and tried to whine, but even her sobs were inaudible.

” We can’t wash her if she’s flailing,” Gayla mumbled worriedly before slamming her with a Petrificarion spell so Alyssa couldnt move. 

She wanted to scream at the feeling of being completely locked into place. She began to panic, unable to do anything or fight them off. Her chest constricted painfully as she gasped for air. The girls did not seem concerned as Maddie snatched her robe off without care. Coraline ripped the gray vest from her chest as Gayla unfastened her shoes. 

 

“ Shhh,” Coraline teased, making a joke out of wiping the tears from Alyssa’s face,” We don’t want to ruin your clothes in the bath.” 

Tears streamed down her face silently as her stockings were ripped from her body. The buttons were torn off her shirt as Coraline yanked ruthlessly at it, scratching Alyssa’s chest with her nails in the process, leaving angry red marks across her fair skin. Maddie chuckled when she snipped the baby blue panties from her thighs, exposing her after destroying her skirt. She was trembling in fear and embarrassment as the last bit of her clothing was cut off, leaving her completely vulnerable to the three older students. Maddie shoved her forward, and without the ability to move, she planted face first on the ground with a loud snap. She gasped at the pain, feeling her small breasts, hips, and face take the brunt of the pain. They dragged her by hair to the tub before dumping her in the icy water. Her skin slide painfully across the stone, scratching it everywhere it touched. She screwed her eyes shut as her eye lid scraped and stung, the loose pieces sticking to her face. Unable to move, she was submerged beneath the surface, coughing and sputtering as best she could to keep the water out of her mouth. For as long as they kept her down, her lungs burned and ached as they filled up. Suddenly, she was snatched from the bath and thrown harshly onto the stone, face down. She whimpered at the feeling of her head slamming onto the ground, momentarily distracted by the pain in her head and neck than the pain on the rest of her body. Maddie crouched down behind her before cutting her cloak to pieces with a snicker. Coralline chuckled helplessly while tossing Alyssa’s clothes in the toilet and dropping her wand in the bath. 

“ We should display her, for everyone to see our beautiful work,” Gayla smirked, removing her wand from the back of her skirt. 

“ Ooh, you’re right,” Maddie agreed, after dragging the side of the scissors down the back of Alyssa’s thigh. 

They used a levitation spell before sending her up in the air, level with the height of the stained glass mermaid window before walking to the door. They stared at their work for a moment, silently analyzing her. Her drenched, dirty blonde hair began to curl up, reaching just above her hips. Many places on the front side of her body were visibly bruised, from her cheeks to her shoulders, down to her breasts, over her hips, and across her knees. Blood dropped from her nose, mingled with the cold water before plopping beneath her feet. Maddie twisted her wand to reveal her backside, also bruised, and her thigh bleeding in just the way she’d wanted it to. Coraline turned her again. 

“ I think I like her better from the front.” 

“ I agree,” Gayla noted. 

The girls giggled before leaving her there, dangling high above the ground, no wand, bleeding bruised, and shivering beneath the cold. Her skin felt like ice from the water, chilling her to the bone while the injured parts of her body stung angrily. Her chest felt tight, and she sputtered up what she could of the water, though with as badly as her lungs burned, she wasn’t sure it was all out. She closed her eyes shut, humiliated, ashamed, and terrified. She suspected curfew would be soon, meaning no one would find her until the morning, if at all. With the silencing charm and pretrificsfion spell, she had no chance of getting down or calling for help. Her best chance was for the levitation to wear off, and she wasn’t sure how long that might take. At some point she must’ve dozed off, a natural reflex to the cold, but every few minutes she was woken by the incessant dropping of blood and water into the pool below her. She heard footsteps against the floor in the distance, and she startled fearfully, trying her hardest to make some sort of noise to be heard. 

“ I don’t know, Severus,” McGonagall’s voice echoed against the stone,” I fear—“

” Wait,” came Snape’s cold reply, and the footsteps stopped abruptly. 

Alyssa heart dropped her to her stomach. She didn’t want to be found, not by him, not while she was so vulnerable. She screwed her eyes shut, humiliated and resigned, though the tears feel freely. 

“ What is it? A student out of bed?” McGonagall inquired. 

Alyssa wondered what made him pause. Her eyes flickered down the pool beneath her, the water fogged red with blood. The footsteps began again, and she knew they were nearing the bathroom. She refused to open her eyes, unwilling to look at their faces when they found her. 

“ What dunderhead would leave the faucet—“ Snape said sharply, only to be interrupted as McGonagall turned the corner first and a gasp escaped her lips. 

Alyssa couldn’t help but peep through the blurriness of her tears to see McGonagall, but they dropped again as soon as Snape rounded the corner, as McGonagall used a spell to lower her to the ground. Without warrant, Professor Snape snatched his cloak off and draped it around her shoulders carefully. She shivered beneath his touch, surprised by the heat of his body, but she couldn’t move to grasp the cloak. Recognizing this, Snape held it shut for her, covering her modesty effortlessly as the cloak swallowed her small body.

 

“ I’ll fetch Poppy and Albus,” McGonagall said shakily.

The girl tried to stop her tears, but with each sniffle, a new wave over came her. She was humiliated, completely embarrassed, terrified of what people would say and what her professors thought. She couldn’t help but to sob.

 

“ A petriciation spell and silencing charm,” he said knowingly, his voice still just as cold, though much lower in volume. 

 

He removed his wand from his pocket before casting the reverse spell for the petrification Curse, but a potion was required to replenish her voice, and he knew she knew that. They’d just learned it last year and she had excellent marks on the notes. She indtinctually clung to him the moment he released her from the spell, momentarily forgetting what was appropriate to seek his warmth. He didn’t push her away, but he stilled beneath her as she cried into his chest, her body still shaking from the events. His face contorted into a snarl at the thought of who would harm such a good-hearted soul. Her hand clamped fearfully around the material of his tunic, and her legs folded beneath her. She’d rested her forehead on his chest, too ashamed to look up at him. He found the need to comfort her, and he gently placed his arms around her shoulders to support her in the odd position. She lurched forward as a fit of  coughs erupted from her mouth, moving away from Snape to get it out. His heart ached for her, knowing how humiliated she must feel. 

 

“ Do not be ashamed of what has been done to you,” he ordered, trying to keep his voice gentle. 

 

She pulled the cloak closer, wiping her face embarrassingly before pushing her wet hair back. She nodded, though it was difficult to distinguish between her trembling. 

 

“ You are stronger than them, understand?” He stated, his finger going under chin to make her look at him. 

Her lip quivered, but she nodded, forcing herself to meet his gaze. 

 

“ They won’t hurt you again. I’ll have them expelled. This behavior is inexcusable,” he paused over the words,” I am sorry that no one was here to protect you.” 

 

She shook her head swiftly, as if to say it wasn’t his fault. He understood the meaning behind it and held his hand out to her. She took it gratefully and moved back to his chest, his steady heart beat soothing her as she drew in heavy breaths. The crying had stopped, but she was exhausted from everything. Dumbledore and Poppy rounded the corner to the bathroom, with Poppy holding her mouth. 

“ Can you stand, dear?” Poppy asked gently, her eyes wide from the sight of the girl and Snape’s gentleness with her. 

She looked up, her eyes half-lidded with sleep and sadness. She leaned back only to wince as her weight landed on the cut of her thigh. 

 

“ I’ll get her, Poppy,” Snape said briskly, his tone short in anger. 

 

The girl looked up at him shyly, as though to be sure he didn’t mind doing that. He stood before kneeling down to her level and lifting her bridal style, careful not to shift the cloak or touch her anywhere inappropriately. She relaxed against his chest, feeling safe for the first time in a long while. 

“ I’ll fetch the Potions she will need,” Dumbledore said solemnly, shaking his head in sorrow. 

 

He felt responsible. 

 

“ I’ll gather her things,” McGonagall noted, using her wand to drain the water while simultaneously levatating Alyssa’s wand up. 

 

Her eyes flicked to Snape in surprise as she noticed the familiar etchings, and he glanced back in mild confusion before settling on the sight. His eyes shut as more anger welled within his chest, and Poppy stepped forward, ready to ease the girl’s fall if he dropped her. Alyssa’s eyes were wide, finding her mouth open to ask what was wrong. Snape felt her shift, and he glanced down, his eyes scanning her face, committing the damage to memory, and a scowl took over his. Despite his hardening features, he seemed unsurprised by the discovery. 

 

“ There’s something we must discuss at a later date, Miss Hellstrand,” he informed her. 

 

She nodded before he followed Poppy to the Hospital Wing, and Alyssa savored the few moments she had in his arms; for once they disappeared, so would that feeling of safety. He settled her on the bed carefully, going to move away the moment he did so Poppy could do her job, but Alyssa’s hand caught his, her eyes pleading with him not to leave. 

 

“ I’ll help you into some clothes and tend to your wounds. Severus, you can wait behind the curtain,” Poppy promised, noticing the girl’s terrified expression. 

 

Alyssa seemed acceptant of this, and dropped his hand, turning her head away dejectedly. Snape ground his teeth, having no desire to leave her side, not when she asked him to stay, but he obeyed, turning his back to the curtain. Dumbledore walked in, holding three vials in his hand. 

“ I hope you don’t mind, Severus. I retrieved them from your private stores.” 

 

Snape examined the vials from a distance, noting that he had one for her voice, one for pain, and another to calm her nerves. He nodded curtly. Rustling of clothing could be heard as Poppy helped her into a set of clothes and cleaned her wounds. She pulled the curtain back while retrieving another blanket and a hot cloth for the girl’s head, leaving access for both Snape and Dumbledore. She took the Potions begrudgingly, hesitant due to the smell and flavor of each, but she did take them without being pushed to do so. Poppy returned and placed the hot cloth over Alyssa’s forehead, wary of her sensitive skin. Alyssa held a small brush in her hand, running it silently through the ends of her hair. She couldn’t meet Snape’s eyes, unwilling to see the look of disgust or whatever bloomed there. 

 

“ Severus, why don’t you assist, Miss Hellstrand? I’ve got to write out a report to send to her—“

” No,” she screeched worriedly, her voice hoarse from exertion. 

Dumbledore glanced back at her in wonder,” You don’t want me to inform your parents or you don’t want Severus to help you?” 

 

She looked at Poppy for help, but no one seemed to understand her hesitance. 

 

“ I–I, please, Headmaster, I can’t. They—They’ll be angry,” she cried helplessly. 

 

The realization dawned on them all. She feared them, too. Dumbledore stiffened. 

“ I’ll write the report, but I won’t send a letter to your parents. You have my word.” 

 

She nodded, eyes closing in relief. 

Poppy moved to a different room in the Hospital Wing, and McGonagall went to finish their evening rounds, intent on checking to see if any students were out of bed. Her attacker’s would be dealt with in the morning, but for now, she needed rest, and they couldn’t drag students out of bed without her naming them. She half expected Snape to leave, assuming that now that she could talk he’d be bored of her. She winced while leaning up on her elbows, and, sick of watching her struggle, Snape took the brush from her hand. She flushed, thinking he wasn’t going to let her go through with her nightly ritual before the bristles landed softly at the top of her head. Her eyes fluttered open, taking in the sight of her stern Potions Master skillfully brush her hair. His eyes didn’t meet hers, merely keeping them trained on her wavy hair as he glided the bristles delicately from the top of her head all the way to the ends. Stopping when he hit a tangle to grasp the upper portion of her hair to prevent her from feeling the tangle being pulled loose. She relaxed beneath his movements, letting out a soft breath of air when he reached a particularly sore spot. He glided the brush over it a few more times than was necessary, relieving the tension there for her benefit. She opened her mouth to thank him, to say something, anything, but no words came out, and he lulled her peacefully to sleep...


	3. Chapter Three

As light filtered in through the stained glass windows, her eyes began to open, unable to sleep from the brightness. Tiredly, she shifting, sliding her head beneath the thin fabric of the sheets to protect from the inherent rays. She felt on the bed for her blanket, but all too suddenly the memories of yesterday flooded back. Her hand slid across a soft material, thicker than the sheet, and she snapped it towards her, allowing the material to cascade over her body with a soft billow. She breathed in the familiar scent, not placing it until her senses registered why it was so familiar. It smelled of worn leather, musk, faded herbs, and crisp mint—It smelled of Professor Snape. The scent was present in the classroom where he taught when potions weren’t being brewed, and she remembered it when he carried her to the Hospital Wing, and it engulfed his cloak that he’d wrapped around her. She examined the smooth black fabric quizzically, wondering why he hadn’t taken it back from her yet, but she was drawn from her thoughts at the sound outside the door. Students bustled exhaustedly, most having stayed up well past curfew, to their required destination for breakfast. Castle elves scattered, frantically trying to complete their chores before students disrupted them too much, and Professors roamed the halls, watching the students with careful eyes to ensure they did as they were supposed to. 

“ Oh, dearie, you’re awake,” Pomfrey noted with a smile, startling Alyssa from her thoughts. 

She jolted restlessly before settling back against the pillow, annoyed by the resistance from the bandages wrapped around her torso. She nodded curtly, swallowing to help her dry, scratchy throat. Madame Pomfrey set a tray of food before her, accompanied by both water, milk, and juice. Beside the meal sat two Potions, one a Healing Draught, and another to alleviate pain. 

“ I understand if you’re not that hungry,” the woman said kindly, glancing down worriedly at the food,” but I thought you might like to eat before taking these Potions. They’re not the easiest to get down, and well, it always seems to help when taken with food.” 

Alyssa offered a friendly smile to Madame Pomfrey,” Thank you, I am very appreciative of your kindness.” 

The woman’s face lit up and she nodded joyously,” Is there anything I can get you, dearie? A change of clothes perhaps?” 

She nodded sheepishly. 

”If you wouldn’t mind, that would be lovely. Where is Professor Snape? I should return this to him,” she motioned to the cloak in her hand. 

Poppy’s eyes widened a fraction before settling back down,” I expect he’ll be by shortly, dear, after he’s handled the matter of last night.” 

Alyssa frowned,” What do you mean?” 

“ Severus questioned his students, and three girls confessed. Their punishment is being handled now, I suspect,” the woman frowned. 

“ What do you think he’ll do?” Alyssa wondered aloud, making the woman’s eyes dart from her to the cloak. 

“ I expect nothing short of expulsion, but Albus has as much a say in it as Professor Snape. At the very least, suspension, months of detention, and they would no doubt not be permitted to attend to Yule Ball.” 

Alyssa drew in a breath and nodded. 

“ Dearie, you know you can talk to me, yes? About anything,” Madame Pomfrey noted. 

She smiled up at the kind woman with a nod,” Yes, thank you.” 

Madame Pomfrey grinned and set about cleaning the floors at the opposite end of the Wing with a cheery expression when the door to the Hospital Wing opened, revealing a frightened Dani. The girl shuffled closer hurriedly, her eyes wide and her mouth agape in horror at Alyssa. 

“ Merlin! I would have come sooner had I known! I’m so sorry, I should never have left you last night! I was just so caught up with Tomas and, bloody hell, are you okay?” Dani painted anxiously, wringing her hands as she scanned over Alyssa’s body, her eyes narrowing in on the cloak. 

“ Fine, I’m fine. You mustn’t blame yourself. It was no fault of yours,” Alyssa promised, gulping down both of her Potions after taking a bite of toast. She chased it down with half of her pumpkin juice before looking back at Dani. 

The girl sat next to her on the bed, looking closer at the scuffing across her forehead, cheeks, and lips. Her cheek was bruised from where she’d hit the ground, but aside from a few scratches, her face didn’t look that bad. It was her neck that worried Dani. Hand prints were visible around it with a deep red scrape running along the side. Alyssa shivered and pulled the cloak closer, whilst leaning forward to take another bite of food. 

“ What did they do to you?” Dani asked gently, her eyes running over Alyssa’s gray ones with deep concern. 

Alyssa stiffened and dropped her fork back onto the plate. Her lips stung from the contact with the steaming eggs, and she didn’t much have the energy to talk with Dani, but she took a deep breath and shook her head tightly. 

“ They were cruel and they mocked me,” Alyssa spat at the thought, her body vibrating from the cold. 

She slipped her hands beneath the cloak as she brought her knees to her chest. Her elbows rested on top, and she leaned forward, settling her chin on the cloak as she breathed in the comforting scent. 

“ Professor Snape and Professor McGonagall found you,” Dani noted, but it was more of a question. 

Alyssa glanced up at her, eyes wide with curiosity. 

“ How did you know that?” 

Dani let out a short breath. 

“ Well, last night I noticed you didn’t come back, but I thought that maybe you’d fallen asleep in the library. I was going to go look for you but,” she blushed,” When I got to the common room, Tomas was there and asked me to sit with him. Anyways, I let it pass because I assumed you were fine, but then this morning when you weren’t at breakfast, I got worried. I was going to Professor Snape’s office after class to ask about you when he ordered all Slytherins to the common room. “ 

Alyssa nodded understandingly, and drank a sip of juice while waiting for her friend to continue. 

“ He seemed...upset, and much more than usual. He was angry, colder, more curt,” Dani explained carefully, recalling the incident. 

“ He asked if anyone had been out of bed after curfew. Of course, no one would willingly confess something to Snape, of all people, and so he told us that while making rounds last night, he and Professor McGonagall happened upon you in the bathroom, restrained, shivering, and harmed. He said that if your attackers did not come forward, he would not hesitate to use veritaserum on each of us until he found the truth. He promised that if he had to result to that method, the punishment would be far worse, and not just issued by Hogwarts. He seemed to take it personally,” Dani frowned. 

Alyssa’s brows drew together dejectedly and watered at the memory. She looked down at the outline of her feet beneath the blanket and cloak as she mustered the courage to speak. 

“ They tore my clothes and shoved them in the loo after tossing my wand in the prefect’s bath. They filled it with cold water and shoved me down into it while I was under the effects of a Petrification charm and a Silencing spell. Afterwards they shoved me around, and suspended me in the air,” she bit her tongue, feeling a bit more relaxed due to the Calming Draught as she explained. 

“ I was naked, unable to speak or move. I was mortified when Professor Snape and Professor McGonagall found me in the same state I was left in. Professor Snape covered me with his cloak,” she motioned to the black material draped around her,” he stayed with me until I fell asleep because I was scared and didn’t want to be alone. He’s much kinder than I ever thought he could be.” 

Dani’s eyes were wide with surprise, but she held her tongue, at least for a few moments while Alyssa composed herself. She had left out the part where Snape had carried her to the Hospital Wing and brushed her hair, and his little pep talk after finding her. That was more private—somehow more intimate and she didn’t want Dani to know. 

“ I can’t believe he did that. I always assumed he’d turn the other way if he saw a student in danger,” Dani muttered. 

Alyssa shook her head,” No, no, he was...nice.” 

“ Dearie, class is about to start. You best be on your way,” Madame Pomfrey told Dani, shooting her a warning glare. 

Dani smiled appreciatively and nodded before placing her hand over Alyssa’s who flinched ever so slightly. 

“ I’ll be back soon, okay?” 

Alyssa nodded,” Thank you, Dani.” 

“ Of course, and I’ll bring your favorite book and some sweets and—“

“ Alright, go before you’re late,” Alyssa smiled sheepishly. 

Dani let out a soft laugh and nodded before rushing out of the room to Transfigurations. 

“ She seems like a good friend. Trustworthy,” Madame Pomfrey noted kindly. 

Alyssa flushed and nodded,” She is.” 

She hardly had time to finish her tray of food when Dumbledore walked through the doors, back straighter with a mixture of worry and apprehension. 

“ Miss Hellstrand, how are you feeling today?” He asked, sitting on the chair that Professor Snape had entertained while brushing her hair. 

She shrugged,” I’m okay.” 

“ Still cold?” He commented, eyeing the cloak before noticing she had stacked the blankets on top of each other beneath it. 

“ A bit, yes,” she sighed, curling up against the headboard. 

“ The three girls who attacked you were expelled this morning for their behavior. While I was in agreement, Severus made the final decision after making them give us a very detailed report of what happened,” Dumbledore dropped his gaze for a moment, as if pitying her. 

Her brows drew together,” A detailed report? Why would Professor Snape want that?” 

Dumbledore met her curious gaze for a moment before glancing at Pomfrey who narrowed her eyes. 

“ After finding you in such a state, I suppose he wanted to know the full extent of what happened to ensure there was nothing...more that occurred that we could help you with.”

She shook her head in response, as if to say she was fine. 

“ Would you mind returning this to him? I expect he’s quite busy, and Madame Pomfrey refuses to let me out of bed today,” she said louder, so the elder woman could hear her from the other room. 

She poked her head around the corner with a narrowed gaze. 

“ You need rest, dearie.” 

“ I’d hate for him to need it and not have it,” she directed back to Dumbledore, removing the cloak from her body. 

Dumbledore opened his mouth to object when the man himself walked through the doors, eyes narrowed darkly as he spotted the garment in her hand. She looked up with widened eyes upon seeing him, and noticing he wore a different cloak identical to the one she held. 

“ Oh, Professor Snape, I didn’t expect to see you. Erm, here—“ she offered, holding it out to him as she began to swing her legs over the bed. 

“ Miss Hellstrand, get yourself back in that bed this instant,” Madame Pomfrey called warningly from behind Dumbledore. 

She flushed, scowling before obeying the woman. 

“ It’s not even a few feet,” she mumbled as she slid back beneath the blankets, making Dumbledore purse his lips to keep from laughing.

Professor Snape’s usual scowl quirked ever so slightly before returning to its usual state. 

“ I can assure you, Miss Hellstrand, I have no current need for it. I have an abundance of cloaks, and, it seems you need it more than I at present,” He returned, his voice cool, collected. 

Her cheeks flamed, and she dropped her hands, allowing the cloak to fall back over her. 

“ Erm, thank you,” She responded awkwardly, feeling her stomach knot at the sight of him. 

He nodded curtly and there was a brief moment of silence before Alyssa’s head lifted in thought. 

“ Professor, you said there was something we needed to discuss,” she prodded, and Madame Pomfrey choked before turning away and going to her office.

Alyssa frowned worriedly but turned her attention back to the Dark Professor, where he stood, exchanging looks with Dumbledore. His jaw tightened and he shook his head. 

“ Not now. That is a conversation we can have at a later date, in a more appropriate environment,” he responded, his eyes gliding across her face observantly. 

She didn’t attempt to respond, feeling as though any attempt at arguing would go unrecognized or scolded. Regardless of what he did for her, he was still Professor Snape, and part of her still responded appropriately to his authority. Her eyes fell to her knees, which she shifted anxiously as the two men seemed to stare at her. 

“ Miss Hellstrand, might I ask why you didn’t want me to inform your parents?” Dumbledore inquired gently, pulling her gaze to meet his. 

She glanced worriedly between him and Snape before letting out a sigh. 

“ They would be angry with me for getting hurt, and getting those girls in trouble,” she responded dryly. 

“ Why would they be upset with you because of that? Those girls were the ones who hurt you,” he stated, his tone more frank and direct. 

She shrugged,” My parents are friends with theirs. They trust them more than me, and if it comes to my word against theirs, I’ll be the one accused of lying, no matter how much proof I have.” 

“ Miss Hellstrand, have your parents hurt you? Before in the past?” Dumbledore asked quizzically, his hand reaching to to touch hers, but she moved it beneath the cloak silently. 

She closed her eyes, as if to collect her thought and to prepare herself for what was to come. 

“ Not always,” she sighed,” It didn’t start until I was nine maybe. Usually it was just for not finishing my chores on time. Then it was things like not eating all of my food, or eating too much. And, then—“

“ It was constant, and about everything,” Snape supplied sharply. 

She nodded, not meeting their eyes. 

“ Why didn’t you tell anyone?” Dumbledore asked, appalled. 

“ I was scared. I didn’t think anyone could help me, and my dad is excellent at concealing his crimes. He knows a lot of people in the Ministry—important people.” 

“I won’t allow you to return to them. You’re not safe there, and I can’t trust you to tell me if something happens,” Dumbledore stated clearly, his eyes determined and twinkling with disappointment. 

Her head shot up, frightened and confused, ” You can’t take me away from them. I don’t have anywhere to go. My parents were disowned when their families discovered that they supported the Dark Lord, and, furthermore, the accusations won’t stick. My mother will take his side as will everyone else. Like I said, he knows people who get him out of these things, and—“

“ Miss Hellstrand, I assure you, you will have a safe place to stay while on holidays. I, too, have friends in high places. As Headmaster of Hogwarts, my words do carry weight. I can protect you,” he asserted caustically. 

Her eyes flickered to Snape for help, but he seemed to be in complete agreement. 

“ He’ll come after me,” she pleaded, knotting her hands in the fabric of the blanket. 

“ I won’t allow him near you, Miss Hellstrand. If he so much as breathes your name, I will know,” Snape drawled, his voice an note deeper than she’d ever heard it before. 

She shivered, but met his eyes trustingly, as if believing in his promise more than she’d ever believed in anything. 

“ Okay,” she breathed, shifting anxiously beneath the gaze of her Potions Master. 

He nodded curtly, and Dumbledore led the way out, leaving her alone once again in the Hospital Wing.   
Alyssa sighed and moved to reach for the newspaper resting on the desk, only to not be able to reach it. Frowning, she stood up and snatched it from the tray. 

“ Miss Hellstrand, if I see you out of bed one more time—“

“ Okay, okay,” she huffed, and scrambled back beneath the covers quickly. 

She fell asleep at one point, having grown tired of reading every line on the first four pages of The Daily Prophet. Her head was spinning, probably an after-effect of Potions, which seemed odd because Professor Snape seemed to always find a way to keep his Potions from having side effects. She assumed it was the combination of it all, that and the chills she was still having. Or, perhaps, she’d just gotten ill from being drenched in cold water and being levitated off the ground for three hours in the middle of autumn. She was rereading the section about Harry Potter participating in the Tournament when Dani walked in, carrying a basket in her arms—and struggling. Alyssa giggled and straightened her posture, motioning for her friend to join her on the bed. Dani huffed as she set the heavy object down on the chair before lifting the cover to show everything she’d brought her. 

“ Here you are, Alyssa, everything as promised,” she beamed, pulling out a large bag of sweets. 

Alyssa shook her head disapprovingly but couldn’t help the laughter that fell from her lips. Dani had smuggled in all sorts of sweets, from chocolate frogs to blood lollies. She’d also brought Alyssa’s toiletries, namely her brush, of course a fresh change of clothes, a set of pajamas, undergarments, all of her classwork, and an extra book for her to read. 

“ Now, I know you’ve only been out for a day, but you’ve missed a lot,” Dani said with a roll of her eyes. 

“ Firstly, Professor McGonagall assigned two feet of parchment on the importance of pronunciation in Transfigurations. Professor Snape gave us notes on Veritaserum. Professor Flitwick taught us the proper technique for three different spells which I can show you later. Professor Moody assigned reading on the Unforgiveable Curses after a rather horrid display of each of them on a spider in class. Professor Sprout didn’t assign homework, but we went over some more techniques for preparing herbs. Oh, and Professor Sinistra gave us a chart of the stars to review for a test Friday. Lastly,” she breathed,” Professor Trelawney gave us our first set of readings on that new book.” 

Alyssa glanced at the thick tome resting at the foot of her bed with disdain. 

“ We haven’t done this much work in the past three days combined, and the one day I miss,” she grumbled”, they all decide to assign all sorts of—“

“ Oh, Bloody hell, I almost forgot to tell you, people are being nice to Harry now. Well, for the most part. Cedric’s been nice to him, and I think he and his friends are communicating again. And Tomas asked me to Hogsmeade this weekend,” Dani grinned excitedly. 

Alyssa’s mouth dropped disappointedly,” What? Why is it that every day I am in classes, absolutely nothing interesting happens? And when I’m not permitted to go, everything happens!” 

Dani smiled apologetically,” Yeah, sorry about that, doll.” 

Alyssa huffed and looked at all of the work she had to do. 

“ Madame Pomfrey?” She called, waiting for the woman to emerge from her office. 

She came around the corner with a kind smile, happy to be of help. 

“ When will you release me?” She inquired. 

The woman frowned and walked near to her. 

“ Well, technically, there’s still a few more potions you need to take to finish healing everything completely, but you’ve reacted well to them thus far, so I might release you at some point tomorrow.” 

Her scowl deepened,” So, Ill miss class again tomorrow?” 

“ Oh, most definitely, dear. Not to worry, I’m sure your Professors will work with you,” she said, waving her hand dismissively. 

Dani snorted,” Yes, because our professors have nothing but our best interest at heart, especially when it comes to homework.” 

Alyssa smirked lightly at this, knowing full well that the Professors wouldn’t ease up on her. 

“ Please, bring me the assignments for tomorrow, Dani,” Alyssa noted, picking up her Transfigurations book. 

Madame Pomfrey returned to her office, seemingly done with the conversation. 

“ No problem,” Dani responded, sliding up on the bed with Alyssa. 

She snatched two pieces of chocolate from the basket and handed one to Alyssa before leaning against her shoulder casually. Her forehead made contact with Alyssa’s jaw and she recoiled instantly before placing her hand against Alyssa’s cheek. 

“ What?” Alyssa asked, frowning at her friend. 

“Merlin, you’re burning up!” Dani stated sourly, standing up to get her a wet cloth. 

“ I’ve been freezing all day,” Alyssa retorted, bringing her Transfigurations book against her chest.

Even as she spoke, she was still trembling. 

“ Madame Pomfrey,” Dani called, ringing excess water out of the cloth.

“ Yes, dearie?”

“ I think Alyssa has a high fever. She’s had chills all day but she’s burning up,” she responded, placing the rag against Alyssa’s face. 

“ Lay down,” Dani ordered, looking sternly at her friend. 

Alyssa huffed and leaned back against the pillow, scoring down the bed so that she was fully beneath the blankets. Madame Pomfrey approached and took one long look at her and shook her head in disbelief. 

“ Her skin doesn’t seem clammy, and—“ her eyes squinted in confusion when she felt of her head before a knowing look crossed her features. 

“ Miss Hastings, why don’t you fetch that cooling blanket there in the cupboard. I should inform Albus and Severus of her condition,” the woman said, moving towards the door quickly. 

“ Is everything all right?” Alyssa wondered allowed, but the woman had already walked out of the room. 

She paused and turned around with a small smile,” I would just like a second opinion, dear, nothing to worry about.” 

Dani returned with the cooling blanket after Madame Pomfrey left, and helped Alyssa readjust so that it was lying on top of her. 

“ Try to get some rest, maybe you can sleep it off,” Dani hummed, taking the seat beside her again. 

Alyssa grumbled and instead lifted her Divination book to do her readings. 

“ Alyssa, I’m serious. Madame Pomfrey isn’t taking this lightly and neither should you,” Dani scolded. 

Alyssa ignored her friend and leaned up slightly on her elbows. She didn’t feel ill, she was just cold. She shivered as the blanket only made it worse. 

“ I don’t like this,” Alyssa noted dryly, shifting beneath it to find a warmer spot on the bed. 

The cloth on her head fell, and, annoyed by Alyssa’s behavior, Dani replaced it on her forehead with a glare before snatching the book from her hands. 

“ Dani, I have lots of work to catch up on, please, just let me be,” she huffed, but her attention was drawn to the door where Albus walked in with Madame Pomfrey and Professor Snape in tow. 

Alyssa rolled her eyes and sunk back into the bed, shooting a curious gaze at Dani who immediately straightened in her chair, righting her posture so as not to be scolded by her Head of House. 

“ Miss Hellstrand, I do believe it would be most beneficial for you to lie down and rest. You can do your school work later, as your health is the highest priority,” Dumbledore said warningly, making Alyssa sigh. 

“ I have a load of work to do though, Headmaster. I have an essay, readings, notes to catch up on, studying to do—“

Dani’s expression widened at Alyssa’s openly defiant attitude, and looked to Snape, waiting for him to punish her. 

“ Miss Hellstrand, if you die, your homework won’t matter, now will it?” Snape said curtly, eyes narrowing at her. 

Her cheeks flushed at that and she frowned before setting her book to the side. Madame Pomfrey slid the cooling blanket further up her body, dropping it over her shoulders carefully. Dumbledore approached her on the opposite side from where Dani sat, and taking the hint, the girl stood up and moved behind Madame Pomfrey at the foot of the bed. Dumbledore placed a hand against her reddened cheeks and frowned, shaking his head slightly before meeting Snape’s gaze. 

“ The fever needs to broken. I expect she developed it from being wet and cold all night,” he noted, but his expression suggested otherwise. 

“ Perhaps, a Sleeping Draught will help and her body can replenish itself overnight,” he ordered, nodding at Madame Pomfrey to fetch the potion from her stores. 

She turned immediately, pausing only once she remembered that Danielle was still on the room. 

“ Dearie, why don’t you go on to dinner. As soon as I administer this potion, Miss Hellstrand will be put to sleep within fifteen minutes. I expect she will remain that way until sometime tomorrow,” she said gently, moving to her office. 

“ Oh, okay,” she nodded awkwardly, sliding past Snape awkwardly to grab her cloak. 

She left the room after waving slightly at Alyssa, who offered a grim, chattering smile, and returned to her dormitory. Madame Pomfrey returned with the potion and accompanied it with a glass of Pumpkin juice, as Sleeping Draughts typically weren’t all that pleasing on the palette. She drank the liquid begrudgingly, chasing it down with the juice. Even though it wasn’t her favorite drink, it tasted much better than that of flobberworm mucus, a notorious ingredient in the concoction, although the lavender masked it a fair bit. She reclined against the pillows, and turned on her side to get more comfortable. 

“ So I won’t be returning to class tomorrow?” She inquired sleepily. 

Madame Pomfrey shot her a knowing look,” No, dearie, not tomorrow. Though I’m sure Miss Hastings will gladly collect your missed assignments.” 

Alyssa let out a long sigh and let her eyes drag over the people still present in the room. Madame Pomfrey wasn’t very old, perhaps in her forties. She had kind eyes and a warm face, making her seem all the more welcoming, but she could be quite stern. Dumbledore, dressed in his flowing, periwinkle colored robes, never ceased to amaze her with the concern he had for all of his students, peaking out behind his spectacles with twinkling, worried eyes. Professor Snape was an entirely different matter. Generally, he wore quite the prominent scowl, even now as he stood before the Headmaster it fitted across his face in most formal way possible. His dark eyes shifted to the girl who stared up at him from beneath the cooling blanket, her eyelids heavy as she blinked slowly. She was in daze, unconcerned about looking away from her superior. He looked away in annoyance and focused his gaze on Madame Pomfrey as she spoke. 

“ If the fever breaks before she wakes, she’ll be fine and I can release her tomorrow. Otherwise, other precautions may be taken, such as giving her more potions and getting more fluids in her,” Madame Pomfrey noted, her soft voice, effectively lulling Alyssa to sleep. 

•••

It was that same voice that seemed to draw her from sleep, though it was hushed and panicked. Alyssa stirred slightly, drawing a deep breath through her nose before cracking her eyes open. She shifted silently, her eyes fluttering as they adjusted to the darkness. She glanced behind her at the stained glass windows, and noted to herself that it was still dark enough out to be somewhere around midnight. There was a faint, warm glow beneath the door of Madame Pomfrey’s office, and as the door was nudged open slightly, more warmth flooded into the room. Clearly, Madame Pomfrey was still awake, and she was talking to someone. 

“ I’m just unsure. We don’t know how she will handle it, Albus,” the woman rushed worriedly. 

“ I agree, but she is a young woman, and soon she will be eighteen. If we don’t tell her now, as the bond progresses, she will discover the truth, and the circumstances might not be so forgiving,” Dumbledore replied. 

Madame Pomfrey sighed, and the sound of something knocking against wood echoed across the room. Alyssa sunk back in bed, keeping her eyes squinted so she could see but closed enough to not be visible. Madame Pomfrey pushes the door open more to see Alyssa, and she watched her sleep for a moment before turning back to Dumbledore. 

“ It did feel wrong to put her to sleep so he could touch her,” she responded mildly. 

“ It felt wrong to do so,” Professor Snape drawled, his tone more quipped than usual. 

“ I don’t understand how we’ve avoided it this long,” she retorted dryly. 

“ The bond doesn’t fully register until they touch or acknowledge that their wands share a connection. In Potions, Severus does not permit them to use their wands often. He is not present for her other lessons, and Miss Hellstrand has no knowledge of what it could mean, therefore she’d no idea what to look for. As her teacher, there’s never been a reason for him to touch her,” Dumbledore answered carefully, his voice soft and wavering. 

She shifted slightly, unaware of Professor Snape’s eyes on her, as she moved. He realized she was awake, and with a sharp glare at Dumbledore, he shut the door, shutting her out completely. She frowned and drifted back off to sleep.


	4. Chapter Four

When she woke in the morning, Madame Pomfrey was shuffling around her bed, doing something with the empty vials that rested on the bedside tray.

“ Good morning, dearie. How are you feeling?” she inquired cheerfully, the smile not quite meeting her eyes.

Alyssa plastered on asmall grin as well, sighing as she moved to get more comfortable. Her eyes fluttered as they adjusted to the morning light, and brushed her hair back behind her ear.

“ I’m no longer cold,” she stated nonchalantly, her eyes ghosting over the closed doors curiously.

“ That’s wonderful. Your fever broke late last night, I suppose. You seemed well-rested when I came in this morning,” she responded distantly, glancing up— her tell-tale sign that she was lying.

Alyssa didn’t call her on it, remembering the conversation she overheard last night. _Was that a dream? A hallucination from the Sleeping Draught? After all, it was one Madame Pomfrey brewed._ Instead of commenting on the false statement, she sat up, letting the blanket fall to her waist. She was still wearing the thick jumper from the night before, which didn't seem to bother her as it was very comfortable.

“ What time is it?” she asked, reaching for her books to do some studying.

“ Nearly, lunch, dear. I suppose that Sleeping Draught had some effect on you,” she sung from her office, carting a tray of breakfast to her.

Alyssa smiled appreciatively and nodded her head in acceptance as she took it greedily. She slid her book to the side while eating the leftover toast and eggs, her thoughts drifting to Professor Snape. _How did he touch her? And why? Why did they feel guilty about it?_ She huffed in annoyance, feeling uncomfortable about the whole situation. After a few minutes she pushed the tray away reflexively, opting for the book instead of food. She turned to the page that Dani had bookmarked for her and read a few pages when the door opened, revealing her friend. She gleamed upon seeing Alyssa awake and moving, and she all but glided to her bedside, taking a seat in the chair excitedly.

“ Hiya,” Dani greeted, grabbing some notes from her bag to give to Alyssa.

Alyssa groaned at the sight, knowing she already had more homework than she could ever need. She would no doubt be busy for the rest of the day.

“ Thanks,” Alyssa replied begrudgingly, taking the parchment from Dani to set beside her.

“ I can’t stay long; Tomas is waiting for me outside. I just thought I’d stop in and check on you.”

Alyssa rolled her eyes playfully,” I’m fine. You went a bit out of your way to check on me.”

Dani lowered her eyes and fumbled with her hands,” Yeah, well, you’re my friend.”

“ Danielle, what’s wrong? Did something happen?”

“ No, no, its just,” she paused, her eyes sweeping over Alyssa calculatingly before shaking her head,” I had a chat with Professor Snape is all.” That made a frown cross Alyssa’s features.

_How did everything tie back to him?_

“ And? What was it about?”

Dani sighed and glanced back at the door,” It’s not really my place to say, and, even if I did, I don’t have time. I’ve got to go to lunch before people suspect omas and I are up to no good.”

Alyssa caught her wrist as she stood up, confused and worried,” Dani, if it was important, you’d tell me, wouldn't you?”

That seemed to stump her, and she opened her mouth to say something but shut it quickly.

“ If I thought I was the best person for you to hear it from, then yes. But, its not really for me to tell. I imagine Professor Snape will tell you himself when the time is right.”

“ What is that supposed to mean?” Alyssa called out to her friend as she stopped short at the door.

“ I don’t know,” she frowned, before disappearing down the corridor.

While her thoughts were mostly centered around Professor Snape, Dani, and the conversation she’d heard, she actually managed to get a decent bit of work down. Aside from copying her Potions and Herbology notes down, she’d gotten most of her assignments finished by dinner. The hardest assignment was Professor McGonagall’s essay, as the stern woman was most peculiar about writing styles and details. She reread the introduction passage seven times before she finished, and it covered the span of four pages. She leaned back against the pillow, bringing her knees to her chest as she used them as a surface to jot down her Herbology notes. Dumbledore had yet to visit her for the day. Not that she expected him to; she knew the Headmaster probably had more pressing concerns, but he’d visited her every day since the incident, and it felt quite lonely in the Hospital Wing. Granted, she’d had much time to catch up on her work. She jotted down the last note on the proper technique used in crushing insect wings before moving the pieces of parchment aside to reach for some blank ones. She rested Dani’s Potion notes on the bed and copied them down accordingly, paying great attention to the numbers in the recipe for Veritaserum. She was so focused that she hadn’t noticed the door opening until Professor Snape stood a few feet from the foot of her bed, watching carefully. She pursed her lips in confusion, an amount in Dani’s notes puzzling er. She looked up to grab her Potions book when she recognized his presence, and she jolted, clutching her heart as it beat hard and fast in her chest.

“ Merlin! Sorry, Professor, I hadn’t realized you came in,” she blushed, pulling the Potions book near to her.

He stepped closer, this time going around to the side of her bed.

“ Poppy is releasing you today,” he informed her with disinterest, or what seemed like disinterest.

Her eyes lit p at the prospect and she immediately flung the blanket off of her, careful not to disrupt the position of Snape’s cloak which still rested in bed with her.

“ Wonderful,” she chimed excitedly, moving to grab her things before a firm hand landed swiftly on her elbow, guiding her back into her previous position.

She frowned and looked up at him, her eyes drifting to his in confusion.

“ Miss Hellstrand,” he hesitated, as though he were looking for the right words,

“ I believe it would be a decent time to have that discussion now.”

She nodded, not seeing a problem with it, but his warning tone made her worry.

“ After you’ve gathered your belongings and eaten, find your way to my office. I believe it is a conversation that should take place in a more private setting. You needn’t knock when you arrive,” he said curtly, nodding his head like he believed his statement was sufficient.

“ Okay,” she agreed, suddenly feeling shy. After Professor Snape left, she finished copying her notes, adjusting the appropriate amount of Jobberknoll feathers just as Madame Pomfrey deliver her tray.

“ Thank you," she hummed quietly, immediately reaching for the fork in order to take a bite of the turkey. Madame Pomfrey didn’t respond and merely gather her things in the corner, a knowing look in her eye. Alyssa grinned happily and finished her meal in silence. She collected her things and slid on her cloak before carrying Professor Snape’s and the basket of items to her dormitory. She found Dani sitting there studying, and instead of greeting her warmly, she sighed.

“ You might as well take those things with you.”

“What?” Alyssa laughed in uncertainty.

“ To his office. You're going to speak with Professor Snape, yes?”

“ Well, yes, but why would I—“

“ You’ll see. It won’t be long now, so you might as well just go ahead and go.”

Alyssa bristled at the comment and shook her head reprovingly. She deposited the basket on her bed and changed quickly into a jumper, a pair of fresh jeans, and slide on trainers. She tugged her Slytherin robe over her outfit and trudged out of the dormitory, pondering on Danielle’s sour attitude as she went. _Had something happened with Tomas? Had she done something to her? Was there a stressful test coming up? How much had she really missed in school?_ She groaned outwardly at that thought, praying to the gods that it wasn’t a ridiculous amount, thought it wouldn’t surprise her. She’d always had terrible luck. She stopped short upona rrive at Professor Snape’s office. The room was approximately half the size of his classroom, but still spacious. There was enough room for two leather armchairs, a large bookcase, his desk, and another counter area to prepare potions. His private stores were adjacent to his office, on the opposite side of the from the classroom. She too a deep breath to compose herself. It always seemed colder in the dungeons closer to his classroom than it did in the actual dormitory, and she wondered if it was enchanted. After deciding that it most definitely was, she breached the topic of his cloak. _How would she mention returning it to him? He already rjected the notion once, but that was under different circumstances. She probably should have washed it. Suddenly, she felt very stupid. He most likely didn’t want it back until was clean. After all, shed been sleeping with it, it had covered her naked body, and it had absorbed some water off of her hair after being found._ Before she had time to scold herself anymore, the door opened, and she blanched. 

 


	5. Chapter Five

Professor Snape stood in the doorway, his eyes dark, and too dull to even glisten beneath the candlelight in his office. Nervously, she lifted up his cloak towards him, presenting it awkwardly. 

“ I thought you might like this back now, I’m sorry—“

“ Keep it, Miss Hellstrand, you seem to have grown rather fond of it,” he noted calmly, his eyes landing on the way with which she held it. 

Although she was returning it to him, she was clutching it tightly and near to her, as though she were unwilling to part with it. Her cheeks flamed with embarrassment and she opened her mouth to counter his statement, when he stepped aside for her to go in. She settled for chewing on her bottom lip as she followed behind him. He stood before the fireplace, his eyes smoothing over the fire carefully before glancing momentarily behind him. His eyes motioned for her to sit in one of the armchairs in front of it. She moved quietly behind him to the one closest to the door before settling meekly into the leather armchair, which made her feel even smaller in his presence. The door shut loudly behind her, and she jumped, watching the candles flicker from the movement. Her eyes glided over the room, taking it all in silently. Towards the back of the room sat his black desk, worn slightly over the years and covered with ingredients, papers, and ink to use to grade them. Behind the chair stood two chest of drawers, no doubt filled with the same contents and many potions. The room was bigger than she’d expected, but not by much. In the middle of the room on left stood the fireplace, and in front of it, the two leather chairs. Behind her was a similar set up, though those chairs faced his desk. 

“ Miss Hellstrand, your wand is eleven and a half inches, made of ebony wood with the core of a Horned Serpent, but more specifically, it holds the essence of the left horn,” he stated darkly, turning slightly to face her. 

Her eyes were wide,” Yes, how—how did you know that?”

“ Throughout the majority of the wand, there is not much decorum, but at the handle, it’s intricately carved with a rather peculiar design,” he continued. 

She swallowed anxiously, wondering how he knew that. Surely, he must have seen it when Professor McGonagall retrieved it. Immediately she thought that perhaps something was wrong with it, or her, as its owner. She nodded worriedly. He removed a wand matching the description perfectly from his tunic pocket, and relief flooded her features. 

“ Oh, I was wondering how you knew all of that. Where did I leave it?” She asked, reaching for the familiar object. 

He narrowed his eyes and moved the wand back from her,” Miss Hellstrand, yours is resting on your lap.” 

She frowned and looked down to see her wand poking out of her cloak pocket, and her eyes shot back up to his. 

“ I don’t understand, if that’s not my wand then—“

“ It belongs to me,” he returned carefully, his eyes trained on her, searching for any sort of reaction. 

She shook her head in confusion,” Our wands are identical?”

“ Down to the last detail,” he supplied. 

“ I suppose that’s odd. I thought every wand was different to represent—“

“ The different souls of different people,” he nodded. 

“ Professor Snape, I’m sorry if I’m being a bit slow, but I don’t understand what you’re trying to say,” she finished, feeling an incredibly odd sensation course through her body. 

He sat down in the armchair next to her, his eyes trained on the fire as he pursued his lips, preparing himself for the conversation he was about to have. It was much more difficult to explain it to her than to her roommate Danielle. 

“ In ancient times, when wands were first being created, there was only four basic designs and sizes. When the core was placed inside the wand, it changed accordingly to fit the soul of whom it chose. As time has progressed, Wizards took it upon themselves to carve the wands for style purposes and the best length and flexibility for different types of magical beings,” he explained darkly, his voice reverberating off of the stone walls. 

“ The core of a Horned Serpent is unlike others in many ways. When it is placed in a wand, the wood changes to fit the needs of its core. Essentially, the horn shapes the wood to its own desires. The majority of the time, the core of a Horned Serpent is only used once when taken from the same creature. There are instances, however, in which the left horn may be used, but because of the bond it established with its right side, they cannot be separated except by one choosing a wizard and forging a new bond.” 

She nodded in understanding. 

“ Even so, the other core never severs the connection it has to its other piece, and it changes itself into an identical copy of the other. This is called a twin. “

“ So, our wands are twins?” She inquired curiously, her eyes raking down over hers. 

“ As I said, the bond between the two wands was never broken, even when the second wand chose its owner. It is not entirely loyal until the bonds are severed or made into one.” 

She frowned,” What do you mean?” 

“ The bond your wand has with you is strong. It also shares an equally strong bond with mine—“

“ And your wand shares a bond with you. There’s too many connections to be loyal and give it’s true potential,” she realized. 

He nodded. 

“ So, we either have to sever it or combine it. How do we do that?” She asked, feeling flustered. 

He met her eyes, holding her gaze captive to his. 

“ There’s only one way to achieve each. To sever the bond, one or both of us must die,” he said coarsely. 

A slight gasp fell from her lips,” No, that’s not an option!”

He looked back to the fire, his back stiff and his head high,” To shift the bonds into a singular connection is only achieved through consummation.” 

Her eyes widened and her whole body flushed in embarrassment,” You mean...as in...sex?”

“ Yes,” he replied dryly. 

She took a deep breath,” You said both are permanent. Death is...well, death, you can’t come back from that. And, by permanent consummation, did you mean that—“

“ It would be a continuous thing, Miss Hellstrand—a lifelong commitment to one another. Most people who encounter this predicament marry because if either of the bonds sense even the slightest bit of rejection, our wands have the power to kill us both.” 

She flushed and looked down,” When would we have to, erm...”

“ I don’t know. There is a couple who have experience in this and they are willing to meet, if you’d like. This is not something anyone or anything can prevent ,Miss Hellstrand. In the past, even the Ministry has tried to interfere with this course of nature, and attempting to destroy the bond had gotten everyone involved killed. I am deeply sorry that this is the life that has chosen you,” he finished, enunciating each syllable carefully. 

She scoffed,” It isn’t like this is the best predicament for you, Professor. All things considered, you’re my Head of House, and, I, your student. If people ever find out about this—“

“ And they will. I’ve been advised by both Dumbledore and the Ministry to prolong any interactions as long as possible. Your reaction last night was a repercussion of our actions. We touched, and it set off the bond, speeding it along. The bond created a trigger in the form of your health to force me back to you. Poppy wanted to put you to sleep so that I could slow down the advancement of it all without your knowing,” he grew quiet for a moment as she thought back, realizing that the conversation she had heard was not a hallucination. 

Her brows were furrowed in thought, but he mistook it for anger, and his voice grew quieter. 

“ I brushed your hair. I assumed it was something you wouldn’t mind as I had done the night before. It was less intimate than other options but it was enough to satisfy the bond, if only temporarily.” 

Her eyes softened at that and she drew a deep breath, feeling the need to explain her quirk. 

“ My parents have always been a stickler on how I looked—the way I dressed, acted, did my hair, and everything. At the time I didn’t realize why my mom was so adamant about it all, but she’d come to my room every night, usually after my father had scolded me for something, and she’d brush my hair. It always calmed me down, and...well, it was the only time she ever really spent with me. One day my father walked in while she was doing it, and out of anger, he broke the brush because he said I didn’t deserve to be comforted when the source of his anger was me. After that, my mom never came back into my room at night, and, it’s the only thing that’s ever made me feel safe.”

She shook her head,” He knew that, and he took that away. Still, it’s sort of a ritual now to brush my hair every night before I go to sleep. It’s stupid, but I–I can’t make myself stop.” 

“ Mine was reading,” he answered after a few moments, and her eyes flickered to his in surprise. 

She hadn’t expected him to say anything, let alone share an intimate part of his story. Immediately her heart sunk at the realization—he was beaten too. She swallowed and took a deep breath. 

“ You said people will find out. You could lose your job, and I could be—“ 

“ No, not exactly. As I said, nothing about this is preventable, Miss Hellstrand. There will be nothing done, as there is nothing that can be done,” he responded. 

Her cheeks flamed,” But, Everyone would know?” 

He let out a sigh,” It’s possible that while we are trying to put this off for as long as possible, that there will be an instant similar to last night. The only way to keep the wands from confusing our distance as rejection is to accept it and quickly. The closer we grow to having to consummate this, the more the bond will require to prove our loyalty to one another.” 

“ You mean, to not be killed and to slow things down as best we can, we have to do...other intimate acts along the way, and it’s possible that students might witness them,” she breathed heavily, feeling squeamish suddenly. 

He nodded curtly,” Yes.” 

“ Great,” she replied sarcastically. 

“ Should that take place, the Ministry will formally sit down with the students to explain the situation, and letters will be written to the parents. If the parents are uncomfortable with the new-found information, they are encouraged to meet with the Headmaster, the Head of the Ministry, myself, and you.” 

“ To discuss what?” She retorted in shock. 

“ Our...relationship. The connection, the bond, any sort of intimacy. You might be questioned on your feelings on the matter. “ 

She nodded tiredly, exhausted from the day and all the new information. 

“ You told Danielle about this,” she inquired but it was more of a statement,” Why?” 

He looked back at her, his eyes scanning her face carefully, searching for anger, perhaps before he responded. 

“ She is your roommate, and depending on the rate at which this progresses, I expect you will relocate to my chambers within the next few weeks. As penetration is the last step we will take, and the one we are trying to prolong the most, it will be vital that you are near me for the majority of the time to increase the distance in time from now to that moment. Being apart merely persuaded the bond into sensing a rejection that had not occurred, therefore being together will decrease the pain we both may feel. I cannot promise this journey will be a pleasant one, Miss Hellstrand. From what I’m told, prolonging each step will cause us both pain in different ways, but we’ve no other choice considering your age, and our predicament.” 

She had never felt so embarrassed, not even when he and Professor McGongall had found her. He had openly said that eventually, he would penetrate her. She took a slow, shaky breath, trying to calm her nerves and hide it from him. 

“ You are free to speak to her, any Head of House, Poppy, or Albus about this. No one outside of that must know until the Ministry announces it. And, while I would prefer you to speak to me about any concerns or questions you may have, I understand that you are a young woman who might like to speak to her female friends about...such intimacies. “ 

For the life of her, she could not understand how he seemed so unbothered, so stoic about all of this. Despite whatever matter he spoke of, he did so as though he were teaching a lesson. He was closed off, sealed, and unresponsive in any normal capacity. She bit her tongue and nodded, feeling heat course through her belly. 

“ If you’d like to speak with the aforementioned couple, I can set up a date when they are available,” he finished, his eyes narrowing on her lips as she nibbles on the bottom one. 

“ Yes, I would like to, if that’s okay,” she answered, stumbling slightly over her words in humiliation. 

He nodded,” Very well, Miss Hellstrand, you’re dismissed.” 

She caught the hint and stood up, nearly tripping over her own feet. She blushed harder and pulled his cloak closer, feeling shy about keeping it, though she supposed it didn’t much matter when she moved in with him. The mere thought made her legs feel like jelly. She left the room and walked to the dormitory, feeling a heavy weight on her chest. She had so much to think about, but none of she could deny or refuse. Professor Snape was the last person she ever would have imagined herself with for a number of reasons, but none of them surfaced her mind as she walked. I’ve got one, her sub-conscience scolded, perhaps his age, or maybe the fact that he’s your professor! She flushed even in the darkness of the corridor. Yes, that was very true. How old was he anyway? Her breath caught in her throat as many things rotated through her head at once— his age, his profession, her age, her status as a student, the bond, their wands, but most importantly, sex. She stopped cold in her tracks upon arriving at the entrance to the Slytherin Chambers and her eyes narrowed at the painting, not really paying it much attention as she though hard on what exactly might happen. She was a virgin, completely inexperienced in nearly ever sense of the word. She’d never dared to educate herself on the matter for many reasons, the most prominent one being that by the time she found someone she cared for enough to give her virginity to, it wouldn’t matter what she did or didn’t know. Of course, that was her silly, naive self talking. Sex was such a taboo thing around her household. Her parents were never affectionate to one another that she could see, and they certainly never talked about it to her or in front of her. The only way she even knew it existed was because Dani, in her outspoken, hormonal ponderings, she mentioned what Harris might be like in bed. Startled by the question, Alyssa had asked Dani what she meant, and the brown haired second year had turned to her with complete shock sprawled across her face. 

“ I mean, Alyssa, he’s practically a giant. Can you imagine what sort of package he’s working with?” She returned appalled that Alyssa had even asked. 

Still confused, Alyssa pressed on, only to receive an answer she wasn’t sure she wanted, but was now grateful that she had. Dani had been the one to explain sex to her. At least the basic concept, part A inserts to part B and, voila! At least that seemed to be the simplest explanation.   
Sighing, she muttered the password to the painting and walked through the opening before sealing it behind her, and her heavy legs guided her up the stairs to her bedroom door, which she pushed open reluctantly. Instantly, she was met with Dani’s wary gaze, who was surprisingly still studying. She closed her books with a snap and sat cross-legged, patiently waiting for Alyssa to talk. When all the girl did was go to her own bed and grab a bundle of night clothes, Dani spoke out. 

“ Are you not going to talk to me about this?” The bold female inquired sharply, her eyes narrowed in annoyance as she watched Alyssa put away all the things from the basket. 

Alyssa closed her eyes for a moment and shook her head. 

“ First, I need to shower and hopefully process all of this. Then, yes, maybe, we can talk,” she answered truthfully. 

Dani eyed her suspiciously but sighed an agreement, to which Alyssa gladly interpreted as a her signal to go. She didn’t take as long as she should have liked in the shower, partially because she knew Dani wanted to talk, and so did she, but also because there was so much to think about, she didn’t know where to start. She brushed her teeth and shimmied into her clothes, wrapping a towel around her hair before walking out to greet Dani. Apparently, Dani had wanted to be closer, because she moved from her own bed to Alyssa’s and offered a small smile. Alyssa deposited her dirty clothes into the basket to clean later and slumped down on the bed, crawling beneath the sheets with Dani sitting a few feet in front of her. 

“ What all did he tell you?” Alyssa asked shakily, thinking back to the conversation. 

“ He told me that you might possibly relocate into a different set of chambers. Obviously, I demanded to know why and if it was my doing. At the time, I thought you might be mad at me because if I hadn’t left you, those girls wouldn’t have bothered you,” she frowned. 

“ No, I don’t think your presence would have changed anything. They probably would have just waited until another time that was would be equally convenient. Plus, I might have never found out about all this,” Alyssa assured her, dragging the brush through her hair. 

“ He informed me that there was some sort of ancient magic that was at work, and it was entirely unpreventable. He said that in time, certain things would happen between you and him, and that no matter how badly it displeases people, the situation you’re in can only result in one of two ways: death or consummation,” she said, lowering her voice on the last word. 

Alyssa nodded,” So then you know it’s connected to the wands, it involves these connections with bonds and what not, and inevitably, if we would both like to live, we have to...” 

“ Have sex,” Dani supplied, and then tilted her head knowingly,” like forever.” 

Alyssa sighed,” I’m surprised he told you all of that. The living circumstance doesn’t surprise me, but he wasn’t overly indulgent in his explanations, and I still have a million questions. “ 

“ About sex? Or about the bond?” 

“ About everything,” Alyssa scoffed shaking her head weakly, tears pricking her eyes. 

“ I don’t know what to think, Dani. I mean, these last few days, Professor Snape has been as kind as I think he can be to me.” She sighed. 

“ It seems that way,” Dani agreed. 

“ That night, I’m not sure how he found me. He and Professor McGonagall were doing rounds, and I couldn’t move at all or make any sounds. The only thing I can think of is maybe the dripping of the water from my hair to the ground echoed in the bathroom and he heard it. When they came in, the first thing He did while Professor McGonagall lowered me to the ground was to wrap me in his cloak. I couldn’t move to hold it for myself, so he did, and then he reversed the Petrifaction charm. He apologized to me for no one being there to protect me, and he seemed genuine in it. I couldn’t walk when Madame Pomfrey arrived, so he carried me to the Hospital Wing, and...I don’t think I’ve ever felt as safe as I did at that moment, despite everything that happened, everything that has happened.” 

“ You like him,” Dani noted calmly. 

Alyssa sighed,” I suppose it’s a good thing considering I’ve not really got a choice about other things. Dani, when he put me down, I panicked. I didn’t want him to let go because I was terrified of...something, I don’t know. And instead of leaving or going to finish his rounds, he stayed behind the curtain while Madame Pomfrey dressed and tended to me, and then he sat down beside me. He didn’t touch me or anything, but I had asked him not to leave and he didn’t. That means, a lot, I guess. Because no one has ever done that for me, not even my parents.” 

“ He just sat there? All night?” Dani asked wide-eyed. 

Alyssa smiled weakly,” I don’t know, but I was trying and struggling to brush my hair because the angle I was at and Madame Pomfrey’s strict instructions, and I felt panicked that I couldn’t do it. Then, all of the sudden he took the brush from me, and I thought he was just trying to be mean, and then he was brushing my hair. He did that until I fell asleep, and I don’t have anything to compare this to, and nothing makes any sense to me, but it was sweet. It meant everything to me and I think he understood that.” 

“ I guess he’s not the dungeon bat, after all,” Dani smiled humorously. 

Alyssa let out a soft giggle, feeling ridiculous. She had butterflies in her stomach, but everything else was unsettling. 

“ Maybe not. There’s thing I don’t understand about the bond. There are things I want to know about him before this ever gets too overwhelming. There are a million questions about sex that I have, and, no offense,” she laughed,” but everything you know sounds like it’s coming straight out of some smutty novel you’ve been reading. He said he was willing to answer any of my questions, should I have any, as would any other Head of House or Dumbledore or Pomfrey, but I think all of those conversations would be equally mortifying. I mean can you imagine?” 

Dani scoffed, tryin to hide a laugh as Alyssa formed an innocent expression on her face. 

“ Hiya, Professor McGonagall, yes, I was wondering if I could ask you a few questions. First, does sex hurt? Secondly, how long does it last? And, oh, silly me, I almost forgot, when Professor Snape fucks me, am I going to bleed all over his sheets? Or should we lay a towel down!” Alyssa shrieked quietly. 

Dani’s eyes widened at Alyssa’s vulgar mouth, as she’d never heard her use any words remotely offensive, but the humorous look on her face relaxed Alyssa, only slightly. 

“ Firstly, it’s probably going to hurt initially. I mean, think about it, you’re going to have something inside of you, stretching an area that’s never been occupied before. But, I think you kind of get used to it and it doesn’t hurt anymore. Honestly, Alyssa, I think you should talk to someone about this though, and—brace yourself because you won’t like this—but I think it needs to be Snape. He told me that there have been other cases like this. Can’t you talk to one of the females who have been through this?” 

Alyssa closed her eyes, rubbing her reddened face anxiously,” No, you’re right. We need to be able to communicate about things, especially this no matter how humiliating it might be. And, yes, he’s setting up an appointment with a couple.” 

“ Oh, and I think it depends on how long it lasts. And thirdly, you might bleed a little, but I doubt it will be a lot of blood. I mean, I don’t know that, but it can’t be as bad as a cycle, right?”

Alyssa flushed at the thought,” Oh my god, what if we have to do it while I’m on my monthly! Dani! I could die if I don’t! Literally! But how humiliating would that be!” 

She would’ve had a panic attack if Dani hadn’t placed her hands on her shoulders and brought her back down with reassuring words. 

“ Okay, I’m positive that wouldn’t happen, but if it did,” she shrugged,” I’m sure he would be understanding. It’s not like it’s something you can control. But don’t fret over something that hasn’t happened yet. Did you talk about it? Any of it?” 

Alyssa scowled,” No, of course not. I was too terrified and startled to ask any questions, and he didn’t seem to be in the most pleasant mood.” 

Dani frowned,” I’m sorry, Alyssa. Maybe he’ll go back to normal soon and be more open to speaking with you.” 

Alyssa sighed,” That’s the thing, Dani, I’m afraid this is normal.”


	6. Chapter Six

Hardly any time had passed it seemed for Alyssa when the sun emerged from the horizon, greeting the windows of the students happily as it woke them from their slumber. Surely most of the students were thinking the same thing, only her attitude towards this morning was much more exasperated than others, for she did not want to see Professor Snape. After having not gotten any sleep for nearly the whole night—where she lay in bed, tossing and turning whilst trying not to rouse Dani from a peaceful slumber— she felt more troubled than ever before. The man who was meant to only be her Professor, her Head of House, will be the man she will forever stand beside. Bile rose at the back of her throat. It wasn’t that she was completely turned off of the idea. She’d always been captivated by the mystery that surrounded him, and intrigued by his dark persona. More often than not she’d find herself enraptured in his lessons a great deal more than that of another class. For so long she’d told herself that it was simply because she enjoyed potions, and learning about all things involved was an educational, much needed practice. Now, the more she thinks about her favorite subject, the more she thinks of Professor Snape, and how it won’t be long until the title preceding his surname will fail to be exchanged between them, just as he will stop addressing her as Miss Hellstrand, and instead call her Alyssa. The thoughts unnerved her. Of all the people it could be, it happened to be her Professor, rather, of all the occupations Professor Snape could have had, it happened to be a Potions Master at a school, her school. Could she even pursue A jab as a Potions Master now that she was destined to be linked to Professor Snape? Surely not, as she could not have a job far away from him, and Hogwarts didn’t need another Potions teacher. She wished that he’d been a professor somewhere else. At least then, when they met, she wouldn’t be his student. At least then, when they had to perform an intimate act, she wouldn’t have to face him in class everyday, and answers his questions, and be graded by him. 

She shivered as she slipped from beneath her blankets, blindly cursing the lake for making the Slytherin dormitories colder than they already were. She dressed quickly and combed through her hair, bristling as she noticed it falling right back into their usual waves. Too disgruntled to actually worry over it, she brushed her teeth and washed her face before returning to her bed to give Dani space to get ready. Her friend jumped in the shower to prepare for her day, but seeing as Alyssa had showered the night before she hadn’t felt it necessary to do so again, despite it being her daily ritual. It had been late after all. She narrowed her eyes at the wand, turning it over carefully in her hands whilst examining the details. She wondered if Professor Snape cleaned his as she did hers due to the intricate woodwork to keep the dust out. Then again, he probably used his much more frequently than she did, therefore it most likely didn’t collect dust as quickly. She scolded herself for her thoughts, angry at the world and at Dumbledore and at Snape and at every single thing that lived and breathed because, why, oh, why, did it have to be her? Despite what her parents thought, she was a great child. She never got into trouble or did things without permission. She cleaned, she prayed, she did her homework, flew at the top of her class and for what? For her life to end, for her career to be set side and unachieved for some stupid bond she didn’t even want? She huffed and glared down at the sheets, wondering if Snape felt the same way. Surely he would be angry that he was going to be forced to have sexual relations with his student. He might not have always been the best person, but he wasn’t a pedophile. The thought made her heart lurch. Would he forever feel like a pedophile? And would she forever feel like a child stuck in motion, undesired and unwanted because of their age difference? She felt sick. Absolutely, positively, disgusting. When Dani emerged from the bathroom, she grabbed her book and glanced idly over at Alyssa, only to stop abruptly upon seeing the tears fall from her eyes. When she realized Dani had returned she wiped her tears away dejectedly, humiliated and sad. 

“ What’s wrong?” Dani asked, moving to sit at the foot of Alyssa’s freshly made bed. 

She looked up with red, watery eyes. 

“ He doesn’t want me, Dani. He’ll never want me or love me. I’ll always be a child in his eyes. I’ll always be some little girl that he’s burdened with, and I–I always imagined I’d be happy, you know? With a husband who cared for me and maybe a child or two. Merlin, would he even want kids? Do I want kids? Why would he have a child with me when he sees me as a child? What if we get through the consummation and he realizes he’d rather be dead than miserable and he—“

“ Honey, no, don’t think that way. Look, Severus Snape is a man. Sure he’s dark and stormy and all that, but he is still a man, and he is human. Men have desires and needs and I can promise you that intimacy won’t be a problem. As for his thoughts on it,” she sighed and shrugged lightly,” You know, why don’t you talk to him about this? He told you that if you had any questions, he wanted you to ask him. Talk to him. Get to know him. I imagine it’ll make your life much easier. Then he won’t just be your professor, he’ll be—he’ll be the man who likes Potions like you do, and the man who helped you, and the man you’ve learned so much about. Just talk to him instead of stressing yourself out over what could and couldn’t be. Alright?” 

Alyssa nodded shakily, drying her tears and sniffling. 

“ Okay?” Dani asked holding out her hand. 

“ Okay,” Alyssa agreed. 

She hadn’t been prepared for all the stares when she entered the Great Hall. In fact, it had entirely slipped her mind. So when she walked in, listening to Dani brief her for Defense Against the Dark Arts, she nearly stopped altogether. With a heavy blush and a pounding heart, she and Dani continued their journey to their seats at the Slytherin table. Tomas and his friends had taken it upon themselves to join them, apparently they had done so since Alyssa was hospitalized. When she settled down on the bench, people began to look away and whisper about her, making her shift uncomfortably. She glanced awkwardly at Dani, hoping for her to say something that will distract her when Tomas spoke up, much to her relief. 

“ Have you studied for Transfigurations yet? The quiz is today and I don’t think it will be too difficult, but it’s worth brushing up on it,” Tomas noted kindly, brandishing a warm, kind smile. 

Alyssa returned it easily, instantly feeling more comfortable as people broke off into their own conversations. 

“ Ah, yes, actually, Dani was kind enough to catch me up and keep me on track in all of our studies,” Alyssa responded, scooping a few eggs onto her plate. 

“ That’s the only kind thing she’s done,” he scoffed, teasing Dani about her sarcastic and condescending nature. 

She rolled her eyes,” Yes, it’s the one nice thing Ive done all year. Ive hit my limit so don’t be out again because I won’t be responsible for your work anymore.” 

Alyssa laughed and leaned forward, supporting her chin in her hand as her eyes strolled over the words in the book. Casually, she cast a glance up at the staff table, and before she could stop herself, her eyes found Snape. He was already watching her, eyes narrowed and lips pressed into a short, thin line. Something had angered him, and while she wasn’t sure what it was, she assumed it had been her fault. She blanched and looked away quickly, opting for light conversation with Dani and her new friends while nibbling on her breakfast every so often. 

The day seemed to go by slowly, a large contrast to last night. All of her classes had gone well and she even felt confident on her quizzes. Potions had been a struggle though, and not because of the work that had to be done, but because of the Professor who taught the class. She kept her head down and focused on the notes and the potion they were learning about, but Snape’s voice was addictive, an she couldn’t help but to want to look up and watch him. She busied herself with jotting her notes down slowly and neatly, but even that was a struggle. At some points she just wanted to forget about the school work and look at him. She was humiliated by the truth, but she still found him interesting, and she still had questions for him. Part of her just wanted to ask them all immediately so they were put out of her mind and she wouldn’t have to worry so much, but that only seemed to make things worse, as she couldn’t imagine actually asking the ones that were more intimate. Luckily, it was Friday, meaning she wouldn’t attend class for at least two days, which meant two days away from Snape. She drew in a deep breath and glanced down at her feet when class came to an end. For some reason, she naively believed she could get through the day without incident or confrontation or talking to him, but that was not the case. Sure, she’d received peculiar looks from the Heads of each house, specifically McGonagall, but she hadn’t expected Professor Snape to keep her after class. He’d called her name the moment class ended and was dismissed, making Dani send her a curious glance, mentally asking if she wanted her to stay. Alyssa sighed and shook her head briskly before turning to face the wizard, and her friend squeezes her hand before leaving the classroom. The doors slammed shut after the last student had left, leaving Snape and Alyssa alone together. She shifted nervously, but walked the short distance to his desk where she stood, waiting intently for him to speak. He stood swiftly, glancing around the room with narrowed eyes before they landed on their final destination—her. 

“ Have you experienced any pain or discomfort? Nausea?” He quipped coldly. 

She shook her head, her eyes hooded with distress. He nodded in response before walking around his desk, making her take a step back, a mixture of fear and concern swirling around in her pupils. It was instinctive, not necessarily personal, but after everything she’d been through in her life, she didn’t much like anyone touching her, including Dani. He didn’t remark on her reaction, but it didn’t go unnoticed. 

“ I thought it would be best if we discussed a few things before this goes any further. A more public setting would be preferred, but a majority of students find themselves in the various locations in Hogsmeade over the weekend, and any Professor aside from those who you are permitted to speak to is not informed on the situation, therefore, a more private setting is, unfortunately, ideal. As there are many things that will likely be discussed in our conversation with the people I mentioned before, you and I should address each topic together first,” he stated, pausing briefly to let her digest it all. 

She nodded, her cheeks flushing naturally at his words. 

“ Very well. I expect you to arrive her tonight directly after curfew and I will escort you to my chambers where we may talk openly about whatever concerns you may have.”

While his approach was quite generous, his words were not delivered as kindly as they could have been. His tone was quipped, verging on annoyed, which only added to her fear of what she and Dani had spoken about that morning. Still, he was making an effort, and she did appreciate that. Besides, if he all the sudden became warm and welcoming, she wouldn’t know what to think. In fact she’d be frightened and turned off by such a quick switch in behavior. She studied his hard features and stoic expression before lowering her head and swallowing. 

“ Okay,” she succumbed. 

“ Very well. You’re dismissed.” 

She turned away from him before she rolled her eyes. She did not like being dismissed by him. Technically she was still a student, but ethically, it just felt wrong for him to shoo her away like a fly when he was finished with her. Oh, Merlin, is that what sex would be like with him? Would he just shove her out of bed and tell her to leave? She shuddered at the thought. This was a terrible, horrible, no-good, very bad situation. 

She found herself sitting cross legged on her bed before dinner, conversing animatedly with Dani about whether or not Veritaserum was ethical. 

“ Okay, but just listen. If someone told you they loved you, but then they cheated on you and apologized and promised it was nothing, would you ask them to take it?” Dani prompted exasperatedly. 

Alyssa shook her head and erupted into laughter,” Dani, we were talking about whether or not it was ethical to be used on students. Hogwarts doesn’t allow it, therefore it isn’t ethical.” 

“ Okay, I know that, but would you?” 

“ Have you been cheated on?” Alyssa responded deftly. 

“ Well, no,” Dani answered, her tone coarse. 

“ Alright, then we will cross that bridge when we come to it,” Alyssa finished dismissively. 

Dani rolled her eyes and sat back on her haunches,” You’re insufferable.” 

“ Thank you,” Alyssa chimed, a smirk drawn across her face. 

“ Wasn’t a compliment,” Dani sang back, her voice edging in a deeper tone. 

“ Let’s go to dinner,” Alyssa giggled, standing and stretching her tired muscles. 

“ Are you sore? I bet I know someone who could work that out for you,” Dani grinned mischievously, making Alyssa gasp at her audacity. 

“Dani!” She scolded abashedly, brushing her hair back from her face. 

“ Fine, fine,” she laughed, shaking her head in amusement as they walked the distance to the Great Hall. 

“ Aye, Hellstrand,” called Stefan, a friend of Tomas. 

Both Alyssa and Dani turned to see him sprinting up the corridor behind them, only to lounge forward and drape his arm around Alyssa. She stiffened considerably, but he didn’t seem to notice, and instead pulled her through the entrance of the Great Hall. She glanced back worriedly at Dani who opened her mouth to say something but came short when Tomas threw his arm around her. Her cheeks flamed and she shot him a glare and motioned to Stefan. He nudged Alyssa on to her table, and cautiously, she spared a glance at Professor Snape, whose jaw was set in a harsh, unmoving line. She gulped, imagining what he could possibly say to her later about this. She shrugged his arm off lightly, offering a firm smile instead. 

“ Stefan, hi,” she bristled, straightening her posture as he took Dani’s usual seat next to her. 

“ Stefan, mate, I think you’re scaring her off,” Tomas, mused, trying to keep things light. 

Alyssa didn’t respond, but instead scooted closer to Dani who took a seat on the right of her. 

“ No, mate, I think she’s just shy, aren’t you?” He grinned cheekily, his eyes narrowing lustfully at her. 

She shivered, and though he took it for pleasure, it was fear. 

“ Ah, actually, I’m still quite shaken by the events of the other night. I’d rather not partake in your friendly flirtation,” she remarked gently, her tone wavering and her voice soft as silk. 

His features formed one of disgust but he merely shook his head and slid a bit away from her,” Sorry, that was insensitive, but those girls were always a bit—“

“ Mad?” Dani supplied tastelessly, gulping down a swallow of pomegranate juice. 

“ I was going to say horrid, but I think your term is more accurate, yes,” he agreed, piling food onto his plate. 

Alyssa didn’t engage much in conversation during the meal, but instead read through her notes on Transfigurations to brush up on the material to be ready for Monday, which the boys found ridiculous as they had the weekend to enjoy. Alyssa hadn’t eaten much, as she’d taken on what felt like a bout of nausea. Snape crosses her mind, and she knew she should tell him, but she didn’t really know how he’d react, and she wasn’t sure how she felt about any of it yet either. She decided that she could suffer through it, at least through the weekend. Though if she told Dani, she’d be made to tell him instantly, therefore, she’d keep it quiet. Just for now, she told herself. She drew in a deep breath after standing up, feeling a wave of sickness wash over as her head felt lightheaded. Surely the effects didn’t happen this quickly, did they? She paled as she walked to her dorm, Dani walking closely beside her. 

“ The boys are headed to Hogsmeade tomorrow. Want to go? We could go to Honeydukes,” Dani offered, gaging Alyssa’s nervous reaction worriedly. 

“ What?” Alyssa asked, snapping out of her trance,” Oh, erm, yeah, I suppose we could. I’d rather not if Stefan is going. “

Dani sighed,” Don’t worry, I told Tomas that Stefan was way out of line. He said he was planning to ask you to the dance, which, speaking of which...are you going to go?” 

Alyssa glanced back at her idly, her eyes scanning over her hopeful features briefly before shrugging lightly. 

“ I’m not sure. I don’t know how...you know who...would feel about me going with someone else, and he’s not an option, clearly,” she frowned. 

“ There’s no pressure,” Dani rushed, “ Just take your time. Think about it.” 

“ Yeah, yeah, I will.” 

The two friends talked for a little over two hours when Alyssa stood to grab her coat. Dani sighed audibly and eyes Alyssa nervously. 

“ You’re sure you don’t want me to come with you?” She inquired worriedly. 

“ No, you won’t be able to hold my hand when it finally happens. I suppose I should at least get used to talking to him,” Alyssa frowned, smoothing her hair down. 

“ I suppose. Good luck,” Dani chimed as Alyssa walked out the door. 

Alysa muttered a thanks before climbing down the stairs. She counted each one as she stepped down, trying to distract her mind from what they were about to discuss or how he was going to react to seeing Stefan hanging onto her, if he did at all. She felt a pounding headache coming on, and she groaned inwardly before stepping through the painting to enter the empty corridor. She was annoyed at how ill she felt, with the nausea and the lightheaded ness and the headache. Her head felt swimmy and she was certain that if she didn’t sit down or go to sleep soon she would faint. She arrived at his office, and nearly knocked when she recalled his instructions. She bit her lip before opening the door with a hard push, though it only creaked open slowly. His eyes shot up from the papers on his desk and he glanced at the clock. She was right on time. He stood from his desk and used his wand to put the papers away as she stood anxiously in the doorway. He narrowed his eyes at her, and without saying a word, walked past her. She caught the idea and followed along behind him swiftly, trying to ignore the feeling in her head as she wondered if he was angry or if this was just his normal attitude. She wasn’t sure which she hoped for more. The moment she moved away from the door, it locked into place, making her jolt slightly in surprise. She tried to keep up and match his strides, but his legs were longer and therefore, it was much easier for him to be faster. She trailed behind silently as they went deeper into the dungeons before turning onto a corridor she’d never noticed before. At the end of it, the took a left, and at the end of that hall, stood a door with a very intricate lock, only released once Professor Snape’s wand rested in the crook. She swallowed anxiously as he pushed the door open and stepped inside, leaving it ajar for her. She walked in, staring at her feet before turning and shutting the door behind her. She took a moment to digest her surroundings. It wasn’t at all how she’d expected it. Instead of cold, iron furniture and potions scattered everywhere, it was rather warm and inviting. The stone walls seemed more appealing than in the dormitories, as the light from large, glowing fire in the hearth warmed and smoothed the appearance of their jagged edges. The furniture nestled in the surprisingly large living was made from dark brown, leather but it was supple and not firm. The two side tables and matching coffee table were carved of ebony wood, the color of their wands and rested on a black, forest green, and cream colored rug. The wall behind the couch held a large tapestry of the Hogwarts insignia, and to the far left, against the wall, rested a beautifully intricate bookcase, lined with rows of different tomes and titles that she couldn’t quite make out. On the coffee table sat two cups and a black kettle set, undoubtedly meant for the two of them. To the right of the door stood a full kitchen, small but useful and accommodating. And just past that, stood a small hallway with two doors, one she assumed was for utilities and washing, while the other meant for his bedroom. The thought made her spine crawl, as this would soon be her space, and their bed. 

She glanced back over at him to see he was pulling a bottle of fire whiskey from the cupboard in the kitchen before eyeing her darkly. 

“ Sit,” he ordered roughly, his tone much harsher than she was accustomed to. Oh, Merlin, he wasn’t mad, he was furious. 

She quickly obeyed, taking a seat on the armchair opposite of the one that seemed most used as he entered the space. 

“ Tea?” He snarled, though it didn’t seem like much of a question. 

She gulped,” Ah, no, I’m fine, thank you.” 

He poured a mug of it for himself before emptying nearly three ounces of whiskey into his mug. He seemed to have a high tolerance for the beverage. She fumbled with her hands in her lap as she waited for him to speak, unsure of what to say or do. Out of annoyance for her fidgeting, he poured her a mug of tea as well and nudged it forward noisily as it slid across the wood. She smiled weakly and took an anxious swallow. She usually put milk and honey in her tea, but she didn’t dare ask for any now. 

“ Miss Hellstrand, you’re permitted to do whatever you wish in your free time, but if you intend on partaking in relationships your peers, you should be aware that it will speed up the bond’s progression,” he informed her sharply. 

Her eyes widened fearfully,” No, Professor, I—“

“ I don’t care to entertain your excuses, Miss Hellstrand, merely to inform you of the consequences of your choices.” 

“ Professor, please, I would never—“

“ Silence,” he cut in darkly. 

She obeyed and pressed her lips into a thin line, too scared to argue her side. 

“ I expect you to end any romances or intimacies you are having with your peers before it becomes time to take the next step—“

“ I’m a virgin,” she blurted out, tensing as she prepared for his reaction. 

She couldn’t not tell him. She couldn’t let him insinuate that she was doing such vulgar things with a boy she didn’t love or care for. His eyes had widened ever-so-slightly before he recollected himself and returned to his stoic expression. 

“ I just felt that you should know that. You seem very keen on assuming things or assuming that I’ve done things with my peers, but I can assure you that I most certainly have not. I’ve never even spoken to Stefan until Dani began to form a relationship with Tomas, and Stefan is Tomas’ friend. He incorrectly assumed that I would play along with his forwardness and I did not. I informed him that I did not appreciate his approach or his flirtations, whether they were friendly and in good fun or not. Apart from that, I’ve never engaged in any sort of intimacies with anyone, mostly because my father has put me off any sort of relationship with a man for a long while. It was never going to be a priority or a desire until I finished school and settled into a comfortable job,” she said, clearly flustered. 

She spared a worried glance up at him to see he was watching her, no expression of anger or annoyance on his face, but instead curiosity. 

“ I apologize for inaccurately assuming such things about you, Miss Hellstrand. The display at dinner seemed a touch familiar,” he drew in sharp breath after taking a swallow of his tea-whiskey combo before adding,” I have also abstained from such frivolities throughout my life and have not given thought to it as my mind has been more preoccupied by my studies and my work.” 

She frowned in confusion,” So you’ve never...” 

“ No, Miss Hellstrand, I have never engaged in sexual activity.” 

She blushed,” But you said I could come to you with any question I had. I assumed that meant you’d—“

“ It seems we’d both be better off not assuming things. I did, in fact, tell you that I could answer your questions. And truthfully, I can. As a requirement of becoming a professor, particularly in Potions, it is imperative to understand the body and all of its functions and things that might happen to the body. I have a cast knowledge about the topic, and should you have questions, I will answer them to the best of my ability. If I do not know the answer, I would be willing to find out to save you the trouble or more like, the discomfort you might feel when asking another,” he supplied. 

She smiled weakly,” I have a lot of questions about a lot of things. Some are about you, and, of course, the bond, and about the consummation... Truthfully, I’m not entirely sure where to start, and I don’t know if I’m ready to hear the answers.” 

He watched her for a moment, admiring her honesty and openness. He stiffened his posture after finishing his cup and setting it down. 

“ You’re in pain,” he noted stiffly, noticing the way that she was sitting. 

She opened her mouth to argue, but he merely shook his head shortly. Her lips shut as he stood and moved in front of her. Her heart pounded anxiously as he held his hand out for her, but with a gulp, she took it, immediately feeling sparks light up her palm. He led her to the couch and clenched his jaw before sitting down, his hand still connected firmly to hers. Her eyes were curious, and asking silently what he wanted. 

“ Lie down,” he ordered,” place your head on my lap.” 

The tone was still stern, but the words seemed foreign and strange on his lips. She bit her cheek before sitting on the middle cushion and stretching her legs out in front of her before declining back against him. She was hesitant to put the full weight of her head on him, but, naturally, he noticed she hadn’t and pressed his hand against her forehead. Instantly, the pain melted away, and she slumped against him, allowing him to caress her hair as he pleased. 

“ You feel relief when I touch you here because it is the same place that I touched you the first time,” he explained dully, his fingers running not quite gently through her long hair. 

It wasn’t painful in the least, but it wasn’t featherlight. It was...relaxing and pleasant. Her eyes closed as he continued for a few minutes, soothing her aching head and sending tendrils of pleasure through her spine. A soft sigh escaped her lips, and he seemed more relaxed because she was. 

“ I do not want you to fear me, Miss Hellstrand. I understand that I’ve put off a rather—“

“ Frightening demeanor?” She lulled, peaking through her eyes cautiously. 

His narrowed and she bit her lip awkwardly as he shook his head,” Unapproachable persona, but I would much rather you direct your questions, whatever you may have to me. When things begin to get more intimate, you won’t be able to ask your friends or other teachers for help because they will not be here. It will just be you and I, and I’d like you to get comfortable with that information.” 

She nodded her head slowly and closed her eyes again as he twisted a strand of her hair. He didn’t seem as perturbed by touching her hair, as he wasn’t actually touching her, but something apart of her person. It put him at ease somehow. 

“ You May ask me whatever question you wish, and I will give you my word that I will not get angry or annoyed with whatever it is. I will answer honestly and to the best of my ability.” 

She bit her lip,” How old are you?” 

“ I’ll be thirty-five in January,” he responded after a short pause. 

She let out a shaky breath,” I’ll be eighteen in November.” 

He nodded, but she hadn’t noticed it. She was hesitant to ask the more personal questions, but she had to know the answer to at least one. 

“ Do you think you’ll ever be able to see me as anything more than a student... as a child?” 

He was quiet for a moment, and his hand slowed drastically in her hair, instead resting on the long strands that splayed across his lap. 

“ Sit up,” he ordered curtly, and she felt fear blooming in her heart. 

Obediently, she sat up, pulling her cloak closer as her hair fell down in swooped waves from the top of her head. Blushing, she pushed the hair behind her ear while waiting for him to continue. His eyes scoured over here slowly, as though he were memorizing every detail in her face before delivering a harsh blow. She lowered her gaze dejectedly, but his fingers hooked beneath her jaw and lifted it up, forcing her to meet his gaze. 

“ Truthfully, I have never viewed you as a student. Before I really knew about the wands, I had my suspicions about you. You were indeed, too young for me to find out, as you were eleven when I first thought it was possible. You never showed any indication that you were, so I pushed it from my mind until I found you a few days ago. The circumstances are not ideal, but I will make an avid effort at making you happy, Miss Hellstrand. I may be the dungeon git, but I’m not completely senseless and void of emotion,” he smoothed darkly. 

Her eyes widened at his confession,” I never thought of you like that—as the git in the dungeon. I’ve always admired and respected your talent and the ability to push aside your feelings to teach.” 

He drew in a breath and glanced down at her hands which clutched her cloak instinctively, and he held his hand out to her. She looked at it puzzled before he offered a brief explanation. 

“ You’re cloak,” he ordered. 

She flushed as she undid the material and slid it off before resting it in his hand, and he took it before fanning it out over the armchair nearest to him. 

“ Come,” he gestured, rewinding her back to her position in his lap. 

She laid back down and closed her eyes.


	7. Chapter Seven

It didn’t feel forced with him. It felt, somehow different and awkward, but comfortable and warm. She nearly fell asleep while he stroked her hair, intertwining it with other pieces casually as he watched her body relax and fall into the same rhythm of breathing as himself. He could picture this, a life with her. Years and years of her resting in his arms while he played with her hair or stroked her bare skin, or kissed her good morning, or struggled to wake her from sleep so that they wouldn’t be late for their classes. As that brief moment of happiness bristled Against his mind, it flitted away in the most cruel ways as the image of the Dark Lord crossed his mind, and he instantly knew that he would never experience those moments with her. More likely than not, he would be killed in the war, by a fellow Death Eater. She could feel him growing cold, his hands stilled slowly in her hair and his body tightened, tensing and becoming more rigid with every second. She felt like that was perhaps her cue to leave, so she faked a rather impressive yawn and opened her eyes. Her cheeks tainted pink when she saw his eyes scanning across her face analytically. 

“ I should probably go, it’s getting very late,” she noted, casting a glance at the window despite not being able to see anything through it but foggy water and the complete absence of light. 

Snape did not stop her as she stood to her feet and gathered her cloak, her frame trembling from the cold as she hadn’t realized just how warm Snape’s body temperature had been keeping her. She draped the cloak around her shoulders and looked back to him. He had remained in the same position, unmoving and staring up into her eyes. 

“ Thank you for tonight, Professor. Your kindness is very much appreciated. I will do my best to refrain from any sort interactions that I can.” 

She waited for a reply or at least the recognition of her voice, but nothing came. She cleared her throat awkwardly. 

“ Well, I’ll be on my way. Goodnight, Professor. I’ll see you soon.” 

She arrived to her dormitory flustered, but instead of conversing with Dani who wanted all the details, she went directly to bed. She felt safe there, with him, at least until he went all statuesque on her. Then she felt unwanted, like she didn’t belong there, and as if everything they’d done and discussed was an act. Was that just him adjusting? Or was it something that would be permanent? Would she constantly just feel like she’s not worth much around him? Maybe she was just imagining it. Then again, he hadn’t said anything to her after she left. She tried, in vein, to sleep it off. The next morning when she woke up, she was even more concerned. She knew that she would be meeting with the couple soon, and she had a million questions even still, but she was far more worried about their emotional relationship than the physical. Or maybe the physical part was what he struggled with. She closed her eyes while breathing in the steam of the mug of tea Dani had so kindly brought her that morning, and she seated herself opposite of her on Alyssa’s bed, patiently waiting for some sort of explanation. 

“ Did he hurt you? Touch you without permission?” Dani finally blurted, her eyes firm and angry at the prospect of that. 

Alyssa looked up and shook her head curtly, “ No, no, of course not.” 

Dani’s hardened gaze fell,”Then what happened?”

“ He just—He shut down. Everything was fine, we were fine, and then—all of a sudden he got really still and didn't say anything.” 

Dani smiled gently,” Alyssa, you’re scared,” she breathed. 

Alyssa looked at her with a writhing expression, and Dani sighed. 

“ You’re scared. Well, did you consider the fact that maybe he’s scared, too? I mean, he’s spent, I imagine, nearly his entire life alone, with no one to talk to, nothing to talk about, and now all of a sudden that’s changed on a dime—because of some, wand? And now he’s got all of these rules to follow, and he’s treading on water trying to stay afloat, and trying to keep you afloat, because he doesn’t want to scare you or hurt you, especially given all you’ve already been through. And not only is all of Hogwarts watching, he’s hosting Durmstrang and Beauxbaton and their headmasters sitting front row. He’s scared to hurt you, to embarrass you, or to reveal things too early, or too late, or to move too quickly or too slowly. I imagine he’s just as scared as you. And you’ve got me! And you’ve got McGonagall and Pomfrey and Sprout, and who’s he got? Dumbledore, and Flitwick? Is he even friends with Flitwick? Do he and Dumbledore even talk?” 

Alyssa looked down at her mug and closed her eyes. 

“ I need to go speak to him. Thank you, Dani,” she breathed in relief. 

The girl nodded, but before she could even mutter a reply, Alyssa rushed into the bathroom to wash her face and dress in presentable attire. She deposited her mug carefully on the table before pocketing her wand and darting from the Slytherin dormitories in a rush to reach Snape’s office. She let out a quick breath, trying to calm herself before knocking at the door. When there was no answer, she cleared her throat and knocked again. Suddenly, the door was snatched open, revealing a very disgruntled Snape who stood before her. Her breath caught in her throat when she saw just how disheveled he was that morning. He clearly hadn’t slept much at all the previous night, though his messy hair might have proved otherwise. His dark eyes fell on her with scrutiny, looking her up and down disapprovingly before tightening his jaw. 

“ Could we please talk, Professor?” She pleaded, her nails biting into her palms to avoid reaching out to him. 

He moved out of the way for her to walk in, only to slam the door when she was just fully through it. She jumped unintentionally, trying and failing to maintain her composure. He cast a quick silencing charm over the room so they could discuss whatever she had in mind, but the use of his wand so near to her triggered the pain. She did her best to ignore it while he took the seat behind his desk. 

“ What is it, Miss Hellstrand?” He quipped dryly. 

She was thoroughly confused by how quickly he changed his tune. Last night he was so accepting and kind about her having questions, but now it was as if he couldn’t wait for her to leave. She bit her bottom lip for comfort before forcing herself to speak. 

“ I—“ she paused to collect herself, finding it harder than she would’ve expected to say it,” I’m scared. I don’t know anything about any part of this, or anything about you really. I’m terrified that it’s going to hurt and that people will judge me, us, for something we can’t control. I know people are going to look at us differently when they find out. They’re going to make assumptions and form opinions and, given everything that just happened with my parents, I don’t think I’m ready to face that. I mean...”

She scoffed and shook her head lightly, “I don’t even know where I’ll be living, or staying during holidays. Everything, and, I mean, everything in my life right now is uncertain. And now, the one constant is going to be you, and I know nothing about you, so, I’m terrified. Because now, you are my future, and I don’t know what all that entails. I’ve realized that I’m not the only the only person affected by the bond, and I imagine you have your concerns and reservations about it all as well. I just feel that, without us both talking to each other, about everything, neither of us will ever feel comfortable.” 

He breathed in through his nose and exhaled slowly, his eyes trailing languidly across her face, then down to her shoulders, and up again. She was stiff in her chair, anxious, fearful, and uncertain for what was to come. 

“ I agree, Miss Hellstrand. Perhaps, later, after curfew, you could meet me in my chambers and we could discuss whatever you’d like.” 

She nodded, a small smile forming on her face. 

“ Yes, I—I would like that very much. Thank you, Professor. “

He nodded curtly,” You’re free to go, Miss Hellstrand.” 

Her relieved expression contorted into that of confusion. She did not like being excused, and that was certainly a discussion they would have soon. She stood from the chair and moved out of the room, still not feeling quite right. Her stomach was churning, and her neck felt very hot. She had to stop and lean against the wall for support when a particularly bad cramp raked through her torso. She finally caught her breath when she reached her dormitory, only to discover Dani had disappeared. She rolled her eyes and laid down on her bed, yanking her duvet up as she curled into herself. She kicked her shoes off and lulled herself to sleep with thoughts of the dark, mysterious Professor. 

•••  
“ Alyssa?” Dani called out worriedly.

“ Hm?” She hummed softly in response. 

Dani frowned and shook Alyssa lightly only to sigh when she felt how warm she was. 

“ It’s not like you to take naps,” she said calmly, pushing her hair away from her clammy face. 

“ Hmm,” she answered, almost unconsciously. 

Dani shook her head worriedly,” I think I ought to fetch someone, you don’t look well.” 

Alyssa let out a soft breath and groaned painfully, and Dani watched fearfully as her friend jolted in her sleep. Worriedly, Dani hurried from the dormitories fretting over what to do. Should she just get Snape? Or what if it had nothing to do with the bond, but was something entirely different? She pushed past a few students returning from Hogsmeade frantically and ran to Snape’s office, slamming the door open without fear for repercussions, but her heart dropped when she realized he wasn’t there. She ran her hands through her hair in confusion, trying to figure out what to do. She bolted down the hall to the Hospital Wing, and when she finally arrived she was panting. 

“ Madame Pomfrey, it’s Alyssa,” she breathed anxiously. 

“ What is it, dearie? And why have you come to me,” she muttered lowly, thrusting Dani forward gently as she followed her to the Slytherin dormitories. 

“ She fell asleep and she never does that, and then,” Dani huffed as they jogged down the stairs,” I went to wake her up and she didn’t talk. She was really warm and clammy, and I’m worried because it was like she was unconscious. I tried to get Snape, but I couldn’t find him.” 

When they entered her room, they found her on the floor, semi-covered by the duvet, and her face covered in a mixture of sweat and tears, she was crying and writhing in pain. Pomfrey narrowed her eyes and helped the girl back on her bed, gesturing worriedly to Dani. 

“ Come hold her still, I’ve got to find Professor Snape,” she frowned. 

“ No need,” Dumbledore said from the hallway, stepping aside slightly so Snape could brush past him. 

Dani moved out of his way curiously, allowing him to take over her spot. Poppy looked on curiously as Snape rested his hand over her head, soothing the pain in her body, but not quite as effectively as before. Her eyes flickered, but she merely shifted, her body drawing nearer to him instinctually. He let out a frustrated sigh and glanced back at Dumbledore. 

“ It appears your bond is progressing faster than anticipated. I think it would be wise for Miss Hellstrand to begin the transition to your chambers, Severus. Perhaps that might slow it down a bit.” 

He drew his lips in a firm line, nodding curtly without comment. 

“ I–I could gather some of her things, her favorites, toiletries and such,” Dani offered shyly, watching her friend’s face contort in anguish, only to relax again when Snape ran his palm over her scalp. 

Snape glanced back at her with an expression of reproval, though he said different. 

“ Thank you, Miss Raynott, that would be...appreciated,” he replied, his focus shifting from the Dani to Alyssa as she moved to the center of the bed and pressed her forehead against his hip. 

He clenched his jaw, trying to contain himself and not push her away. She had rested her head on his lap before, but now they had an audience, and he hadn’t invited her to do such, nor did he find it appropriate. Still, she was unconscious, and so he could not fault her for such indecency. 

Dani blushed and removed a small, covered basket from Alyssa’s dresser before going to the bathroom to fill it with all of her roommates toiletries. While she was straightening up and gather her things, she heard Poppy talking, and unable to stop herself, she listened in. 

“ Severus, I fear that things are progressing too quickly. I just think that perhaps—“

“ Poppy, Severus is well aware of the consequences. I am certain that he will be respectable as he can with her,” Dumbledore chastised, somehow still keeping his voice warm and kind. 

“ Of course,” She retorted politely. 

“ I’ll have the castle elves collect her belongings,” Dumbledore stated,” but, Severus, perhaps you should return to your chambers and set a few things up for Miss Hellstrand. I’ll apparate her there shortly.” 

He nodded curtly, a scowl taking over his features as he glided out of the room. Dani emerged a few seconds later, basket in hand before placing it in Alyssa’s small trunk. After that, it didn’t take her long to finish packing her friends things, though the more she did, the more the act actually registered in her mind. Her roommate, her best friend, was moving into the chambers of her Head of House and Professor. It felt surreal, like that point in her life was going to be so far off, and it wasn’t even December. She placed the rest of her things in the trunk with the help of a little magic, and a Castle elf appeared to apparate it to Snape’s chambers. It wasn’t long before Dumbledore had eased Alyssa up on her feet, though she was leaning heavily against him for support. She was still, for the most part, unaware of her surroundings, so there was no goodbye shared between the girls. Dumbledore apparate day her there to avoid prying eyes of students and other staff members, for seeing her walking to Snape’s chambers might not be the best way for people to discover the truth about them. Snape looked up tiredly from his glass of firewhiskey, too worried for her and angry at himself to focus without the liquid courage, especially if things continue to progress. He imagined he would need a few more bottles before engaging in actual intercourse. His eyes ghosted over her figure before taking over for Dumbledore and carrying her to his bed. 

With a flick of his wrist, the bed was unmade, and she was deposited gently and covered with his duvet. Snape glided his hand over her forehead, then dishearteningly dropped it to his side, feeling the weight of the world looming over his shoulders.


	8. Chapter Eight

Her eyes fluttered open, batting to clear the blurriness from her line of sight. She let out a soft breath and stretched her arms out, frowning at the unfamiliar feeling of the silkier material. She looked around with curious eyes until her surroundings struck her as foreign. She shot up in the bed, eyes sweeping over the room frantically until she pulled together strings from her memory. Snape’s room...But, how did she get there? She bit her lip contemplatively, trying to decipher whether or not she should get up and find her or take in her surrounding a bit better as, very soon, this would become a permanent thing. Little did she know...as she analyzed the surprisingly, luxurious emerald satin sheets, and soft fluffy black duvet. It smelled of him, all of it, the thickness of the musk, the smokiness of the whiskey he enjoyed so much, the faint scent of mint from what she could only guess was his toothpaste, and the warm smell of cedar. The furniture was nearly identical in decorum to that of his sitting room, intricately carved, and massive. Though it was fitting for the room, given all the stone walls and such. She was hypnotized by the realness of it all. His bed was a poster bed, like most of the ones within the castle. She took a deep breath and pushed herself out of the incredibly soft bed, depositing her feet on the cool stone flooring. She opened the door cautiously and walked through, glancing past the kitchen to see him sitting in the large armchair he’d taken up before. She cleared her throat and walked closer, suddenly aware that her feet were clad only in socks. She sat down beside him in the opposite chair, claiming the identical leather furniture. 

His eyes shifted restlessly over the fire, somehow mirroring the dance of the flames. 

“ What happened?” She asked meekly, almost afraid of the answer. 

He narrowed his eyes and shook his head curtly. 

“ You went to sleep, and had it not been for your friend, you wouldn’t have woken up,” he said harshly, in a tone that warranted silence. 

She looked down, ashamed and unsure of what to say. 

“ I felt it through the bond, and I was in the midst of a discussion with Dumbledore when I realized that something was wrong. Miss Raynott sought out my help, but I was not in my office. Instead she found Madame Pomfrey.” 

She opened her mouth to say something, to thank him, to apologize, or both, she wasn’t sure as she didn’t have the chance.

“ For a girl who seemed so adamant at maintaining integrity and transparency throughout this, you certainly did not exhibit any of those traits today,” he snapped coldly. 

She bit her tongue,” I was going to tell you tonight when we talked. I was fine until you placed silencing charm over the room, and I think the use of the wand triggered it. But you haven’t been feeling any of it, so I didn’t want to pester you.” 

He sighed and screwed his eyes shut for only a second before regaining his composure. 

“ I told you to tell me the second you feel something, and you disobeyed me. The moment I placed the spell, you should have told me it caused you pain. As for how I feel, it isn’t going to affect me as much because I am older and more accustomed to the feeling of magic, and the pain that can be inflicted from it. If you disobey me again—“

He stopped himself, clenching his jaw instead and taking a swig from his glass. She wanted to know what he was going to say, but she thought it best to not push him. 

“ I’m sorry, I didn’t realize the gravity of the situation, now I do. I won’t make that mistake again,” she said honestly. 

“ We are meeting with the couple tomorrow night in London. No one of consequence should be there, in fact, we are meeting them in a more private spot there,” he stated darkly. 

She nodded,” Okay.” 

“ Considering we are meeting them sooner rather than later, I believe it would be best to discuss our concerns today. Whatever goes unanswered or isn’t clarified can be asked tomorrow.” 

She drew in a sharp breath. She knew these questions were going to be humiliating, but she also thought she would have longer to bolster up the courage to ask them. She realized she could probably ask them later, but if he himself was unsure, she wanted to speak to a woman who did know, and at this point, that could only be the person she was going to meet. 

“ When you first explained all of this to me, you said that we would have to engage in other things to slow down the bond, I—what does that—I don’t know what that means,” she flushed, glancing up into his eyes shyly. 

His brows furrowed while he unclenched his jaw,” Obviously, there’s touching, we’ve been doing that, but it will eventually progress and evolve into snogging.” 

She blushed, but didn’t look positively disgusted, so he continued on,” From there,” he paused gaging her reactions carefully,” I’d expect foreplay until we consummated the bond.” 

Her eyes squinted,” Erm, and what all does that entail?” 

“ Merlin, what do you know about sex, Miss Hellstrand?” He quipped dryly. 

She nearly answered when she realized it was rhetorical. 

“ Oral sex, Miss Hellstrand. Foreplay is generally the stimulation of the genitals, with either—“ 

“ Okay, right, got it—“

“ If we are going to be doing it, we should at least be able to discuss it,” he chastised, his dark eyes staring back at her warningly. 

“You better give me some of that then,” she sighed, motioning towards the bottle of fire whiskey. 

His lip quirked slightly,” I think not. It would be very frowned upon for your professor to be giving you alcohol when you are underage.” 

She narrowed her eyes at him,” That’s not the worst thing my professor’s going to do.” 

He couldn’t hide the slight smirk that took over his features. 

“ So it seems you’ve hidden more than just your pain from me, you’ve hidden your highly, disrespectful attitude,” he retorted, passing her his whiskey glass and filling it to the halfway point. 

She smiled,” All in good timing.” 

She took a tentative swallow of the very potent liquid. It burned all the way down her throat, and she swallowed behind it to soothe the sensation, whilst trying to mask her distaste for the liquor. 

“ Would you prefer tea?” He inclined smartly, making her roll her eyes in annoyance. 

“ No, this is fine, thank you.” 

“ Foreplay can be a variety of things,” he began quietly, watching her turn back the glass,” from snogging to touching. A massage would be an example. Typically though, it refers directly to genital stimulation, which can be done with hands, or mouths, even specially made objects.” 

She frowned through her heavy blush, but the alcohol made her warm, and so it wasn’t so evident that she was embarrassed. 

“ Objects that are used are typically phallic shaped or vibrate,” he finished. 

She nodded, finishing off the glass. She went to reach past him, aiming for the bottle, but he caught her wrist, firmly yet not enough to hurt. She shivered from his touch, her eyes dilated and large, looking more fearlessly into his. 

“ I think you’ve had enough,” he said gently. 

She huffed and moved to sit back down, but he tugged her wrist back to him gently and led her to the couch, guiding her to sit down beside him. 

“ Next question,” he pressed. 

She drew in a breath and let it out slowly, lifting up his green pillow and pulling it against her chest. She brought her socked feet up on the couch with her and crossed her ankles against the pillow. 

“ How do we avoid the whole, er, pregnancy thing?” 

“ There are spells and potions we can use,” he answered truthfully. 

“ What if...” she flushed,” What if I get my period when it’s time for us to, do one of those things?” 

His eyes darkened to an impossibly deep shade of black and the second he blinked, the look vanished. It made her squirm. 

“ Blood is a bodily fluid, and it won’t be the only one I’ll encounter with you. It doesn’t deter or disturb me,” his mouth tightened into a line, seeing the concern in her eyes. 

“ It’s not something that you can stop, Miss Hellstrand. Don’t dwell on such things when they have no consequence to me, and are a nonexistent issue at this point. Even if it were, you would have no need to be embarrassed. It just tells me that you’re a fertile, healthy, young woman,” he stated confidently. 

A small smile crossed her features at his answer, and it certainly put her worries surrounding that to bed, quite literally, she thought. 

“ What’s your favorite color?” 

His brow shot up unexpectedly but quickly fell back down after the shock wore off. She smiled weekly, waiting for him to answer. He sighed. 

“ Dark green,” came his reply. 

Her eyes twinkled with mirth but she tried to hide it,” That’s mine, too.” 

She watched him for a second, intrigued by his silence and stiffness. 

“ What are you hoping to do when you graduate?” He returned calmly. 

She smiled excitedly,” I love Potions so I’d really like to be a professor or something like that. I’m intrigued by the dark arts too, though.” 

The corner of his lip turned up slightly,” You haven’t eaten. I’ll send for the Castle elves.” 

She waited patiently, drawing her fingers back and forth across the leather couch casually in thought. 

“ When do you think I’ll need to move my things in here?” She inquired when he sat down again next to her, catching her hands and instead resting them on his chest, though all she could feel was the warmth of his body seeping through his clothing. 

The gesture made her heart melt. He glanced at her in confusion. 

“ Miss Raynott has already packed away your things. When I found you, you were running a fever, unconscious, and not in a good state. Albus thought it would be best if we moved you in now, to be safe. That way we are around each other enough to slow things down more,” he replied, closing his eyes. 

She blushed, realizing that explained why she was lying in his bed when she woke up. That meant from here on out she would be sleeping next to him, and, we’ll, living with him. She wanted to ask more questions, to get a better sense about him, but he looked exhausted, as if he hadn’t slept at all the night before. Somehow, he did seem to relax a little more now that she was touching him. She ran her fingers from the top button down halfway mindlessly, before he caught her wrist again. She sighed, but instead of arguing, shifted herself so that she was sitting up straight. 

“ You look tired,” she muttered softly, staring at his closed eyes which cracked open to give her a warning look. 

“ Lay down,” she offered, patting her lap awkwardly. 

His eyes narrowed at her, and his shoulders stiffened, but she gave him a firm look that wasn’t quite convincing, and he gave in anyway. His legs came up to rest at the end of the couch when he placed his head on her thighs, mirroring the actions she’d made when she first laid on him, but she pressed gently against his forehead and he relaxed. She bit her lip before running her fingers through his hair warmly. His hardened features softened, falling easily under her spell. Fingers brushed closer to his scalp every time she ran through his hair, and every time he grew more and more relaxed, until she was positive that he was asleep. Not wanting to disturb him, she continued to play with his hair, noting that there were no gray strands, and it was all quite soft. Despite looking a tad bit greasy, it wasn’t actually because it smelled so clean. Aside from that, she’d seen what standing over all day did to her hair, and the result was similar, even if it was freshly washed. Her fingernails scraped gently across his scalp, massaging and scratching it gently, which is mostly what pulled him to sleep. She herself was beginning to doze off when a knock sounded at the door, startling her from her drowsy state and sending her into full alert. In her world, knocks at the door we’re never a good thing, and she had to remind herself that she was safe here, that no one was out to get her, not anymore at least. But, part of her still feared her father would be lurking on the other side when it opened, wand in hand and ready to shout off a string of profanities and curse her until he could think of nothing else to do. 

Her movement had stirred Snape, though he, too, had been woken by the knock, and before she could ease him off to get it herself, he stood up, sliding his head off her lap gracefully, and allowing his hair to fall messily in front of his face. He swatted it a side when opening the door, revealing the castle elf holding two platters of fresh, hot food and two glasses of butter beer. She was infatuated with Snape as he took the tray and kindly thanked the help, shutting the door curtly after the creature disappeared from sight. He glanced over at her, a new emotion evident in his eyes, but one she couldn’t quite distinguish. She smiled warmly at him and straightened her jumper while standing up. Alyssa seated herself at the table and waited for him to join her expectantly to begin eating. When he did sit down, she waited for him to get adjusted, and then while he lifted his fork to take a bite of the vegetable medley, she drew hers to her mouth. They are in a comfortable silence, drowned out only by the quiet gargling of the fire and soft clattering of dinnerware. 

“ Do you remember our first encounter?” She inquired thoughtfully, not anticipating much of an answer, merely a means of getting to know him and how his mind and personality worked. 

His eyes darted from his plate swiftly, his lips formed a short curl, and he answered truthfully, in a way that was almost poetically enchanting. 

“ You were a first year, as I recall, not quite keen on following directions, though it seems it’s a trait you still haven’t yet shed,” he warned lightly. 

“ You has somehow managed, after the sorting ceremony and welcoming feast and festivities, to get distracted by all the charms the Great Hall displayed, and you were separated from your group as a result. Thinking it wouldn’t be such a difficult task to find your way to the Slytherin dormitories, you guided yourself directly to the Gargoyle guarding the Headmaster’s office. I was on my way after dinner to speak to Dumbledore about...” he trailed off, as if he was suddenly making a connection to something. 

“ About what?” She asked boldly, still enhanced somewhat by the alcohol. 

“ About you, it seems, or, more appropriately, a strange feeling I experienced during the sorting ceremony, a brief mixture of pain and a weak pull in my chest. I had believed it to be the result of a potion I had been working on for him, but now it makes sense that it was the bond,” he frowned. 

Her eyes widened, enlightened by that piece of information. 

“ Anyhow, you’d managed to have gotten lost, and I quickly reprimanded you before escorting you—“

“ Quite bitterly, might I add,” she interrupted obnoxiously. 

“ To the Slytherin dormitory where I showed you how to gain entrance to the common room.” 

She nodded slowly,” Yes, I remember. I’m surprised that you do. I assumed it was quite uneventful and a very bothersome task for you, but you frightened me that night into trying to one of your best students.” 

He shook his head, almost humorously,” You’ve certainly turned out to be a student I couldn’t ignore.” 

She flushed,” I had always wanted you to like me, not just endure me. I knew it was probably a bit of a reach, but at that point...” 

She sighed and shook her head in remembrance,” At that point, I think I was desperate for anyone and everyone’s approval, seeing as I was never deserving of that of my father’s.” 

“ We often seek the love of those who are not fit enough to give it. Your desire for your father’s attention was not unordinary, nor unwarranted. No one deserves to grow up in a home where they feel unwanted,” he replied quietly. 

“ And, yet, somehow it’s more common than one might think,” she frowned sadly. 

“ I see why you like having your hair brushed now,” he noted, using his wand to clear their dirty plates. 

She drew in a sharp breath, drawing his attention away from the table. 

“ Yeah, well, it’s relaxing. On another note, I think it might be best if we don’t use our wands around one another,” She exhaled, holding her throat as she felt strangled. 

He swiftly lifted her form the chair and carried her to his armchair near the fire. He draped her across his lap and the arms of the furniture, allowing her body to sink and melt into his grasp. She swallowed and relaxed, focusing on his steady heartbeat and the warmth of the fire. 

“ I apologize, I wasn’t thinking,” he replied calmly, though there was a look of self-hatred on his face. 

“ Don’t,” she shook her head,” it doesn’t hurt per-say, it just makes me feel weak and suspended. You shouldn’t blame yourself for something we can’t even fathom. This is a big transition for us both.” 

She flushed hot red as she seemed to come out of her short daze and realized the position they were in, she squirmed shyly, attempting to move out of his grasp, but his hands tightened around her, pulling her an abrupt halt. She glanced up at him curiously, but his eyes were trained on the fire. He was at peace with her, for now at least. But, she certainly feared how long it might last.


	9. Chapter Nine

It took her nearly all day to accept the fact that she was going to stay the night with Professor Snape. She showered, used a charm to dry her hair, and slipped into her most modest pair of pajamas. She spent longer brushing her teeth for whatever reason, possibly because she was terrified he might smell her morning breath the next day. She had trouble falling asleep all night, as one can imagine. Every time she got comfortable enough, she would remember that Snape was lying next to her, and she kept imagining what it would be like when they finally had sex. She was unable to stop thinking about how he would feel on top of her, kissing her, moving inside of her...The thoughts would make her squirm both out of excitement and anxiousness. Eventually, she found sleep, and slept like a baby throughout the night. When she woke the next morning, Snape had already been up for hours, and he was grading papers in the sitting room with a mug of tea. 

She poured her a mug of it as well, watching idly by as he marked up a sheet of parchment. He had already gotten dressed and ready for the day, and all she’d done was brush her teeth. She bit her lip and say next to him, glancing over his shoulder to see what year he was grading. Her eyes widened slightly when she recognized it as her own. 

“ No, you may not see your test,” he answered her unasked question. 

She huffed,” Why not?” 

“ Because you will see it with the rest of your classmates in class tomorrow,” he replied casually. 

“ You don’t get special privileges, Miss Hellstrand, even if you do belong to your professor,” came his silky reply. 

That comment had sent chills through her spine. The fact she belonged to him, turned her on. She shifted in her seat. 

“ But—“

“ No, the answer is and always will be no, Miss Hellstrand.” 

She sighed,” You’re being unfair. My test is right there—“

“ No, I’m being very fair, that is why I will not show you,” he chastised. 

She frowned,” Fine.” 

He shook his head curtly,” We will have to work on that attitude of yours, Miss Hellstrand.” 

She rolled her eyes and stood up,” I’m going to meet up with Dani.” 

“ Miss Raynott went with your friends to Hogsmeade. You’re not going there alone,” he cut in. 

Her smile dropped and she groaned,” I forgot about that.” 

“ Get dressed, we’re going to London anyhow. Or did you forget about that as well?” He quipped, offering her a brow. 

She blushed and refused to give him the satisfaction of answer. Instead, she went to her room—their room, and slipped on a loose fitted black dress and a black cloak. She fingered through her wavy hair, detangling the mess and charming it for shine. After washing her face, moisturizing and smoothing on the basics, she was ready for the day. She returned to the sitting room and scoured the kitchen for something to eat. She rolled her eyes when she cane up empty.

“ Are we going to get food in London?” She inquired. 

“ If you require it.” 

She gritted her teeth,” I do.” 

“ You’re ready, I presume,” he stated from behind her, startling her from her daydream. 

“ Yes,” she answered shortly. 

“ Come,” he ordered, opening the door to his chambers and walking out. 

Despite being annoyed by the commands, she obeyed and followed him down the corridors to Dumbledore’s office. 

“ Why are we—“

“ We are apparating to London,” he cut in. 

“ But we can’t apparate from within the castle—“

“ The Headmaster can.” 

She huffed, still puzzled but not in the mood to fight or argue over such things. When they entered the room, after climbing up the gargoyles steps, they found Dumbledore sitting behind his desk, writing out a letter on a piece of parchment. 

“ Ready, Severus?” He inclined politely, only looking up after finishing the paper. 

“ Miss Hellstrand, you look lovely as ever,” the Headmaster smiled kindly. 

She blushed and let out a soft giggle,” Thank you, sir, you look dashing as usual.” 

He chuckled,” Let’s get you two to London. Shall we?”

He held his arm out to them both, and Alyssa placed her hand on top of Snape’s before morphing into oblivion and back to reality. She stumbled backwards, trying to catch her breath before she threw up everywhere. Snape caught her by the elbow and placed his hand in the small of her back to help her find her balance. She shot him a grateful smile and turned to thank Dumbledore, but he’d already vanished. She sighed and leaned into Snape, enjoying the feeling of him against her. Surprisingly, he allowed it, though mostly only because she seemed cold, and people around them were staring at her. Some part inside him made him want to pull her even closer, to demonstrate that she belonged to him. She didn’t sense his possessiveness, and moved closer to him as they walked down the alleyway more for comfort than anything. She was intrigued by how interested people were in them, not that they were unaccustomed to seeing wizards, it was a common occurrence in Diagon Alley, but perhaps it was due to the fact that it was the infamous Professor Snape walking with a girl who was white obviously younger than him. 

He led her to a building in the back by the name of “Cafe Laurant.” The building didn’t look much like the rest of the ones in Diagon Alley, but much more regal and quite French. He opened the door for her, and she walked in, looking around and absorbing the quiet spot. She shivered when he took her hand gently in his and led her down the stairs to a closed off space in the back of the café. A server stood in front of it with a polite smile. 

“ Name, sir?” She asked. 

“ Severus Snape,” he responded curtly, and she opened the door for him. 

The couple was closer to Snape’s age than her own, which she had expected given the fact that he already knew of them before he discovered who he shared the bond with. The woman was tall and thin, nearly the same height as her husband. They both had dark hair and dark eyes, but while the man had more of an olive complexion, her skin had more of a soft pink undertone. They stood politely to greet she and Severus, shaking both of their hands warmly. 

“ I hope you travelled well, I understand there’s been much excitement at the school, Severus,” the man prompted, genuinely interested, it seemed. 

“ Yes, with the tournament and such. I’ve heard that Harry Potter has created a bit of a stir with his entering into the competition, though I’m not entirely sold that he did it alone or by his own accord,” the woman smoothed kindly. 

Snape didn’t comment on the political aspect of things, but instead, received them as proper as a stoic expressionless man could.

“ Thank you both for meeting with us. As I understand, you’ve been quite busy yourselves,” Snape replied, pulling a chair out for Alyssa. 

She hadn’t expected him to do that, so she froze momentarily before registering his gesture. She quickly took the offered seat and smiled enthusiastically at the woman as she placed her hand on her belly. 

“ Why, yes, Mary and Frances are quite a handful, and Johnathan couldn’t keep his hands to himself, and now we’ve got Catherine on the way,” she laughed, sliding in the chair next to her husband, joyously clapping her hand over his knee. 

He smirked and winked at Severus, then returned his attention back to his giggling wife. 

“ Oh, where are my manners, hello, dear, I’m Rachel, and this is my husband Johnathan. You must be Alyssa,” she chimed happily. 

The younger girl nodded with a warm smile,” Yes, it’s lovely to meet you both.” 

“ Oh, darling the honor is ours! Now, I imagine this might be overwhelming for you. Have you experienced any pain yet? Any unbearable symptoms?” She inquired gently. 

“ Ah, no, not yet. There’s been instances where I’ve collapsed or ran fever, but nothing too serious I don’t think,” she shrugged lightly, thanking the waiter as she served them glasses of water and scones. 

“ I’d like the vegetarian option, please,” the woman informed the waiter. 

“ Yes, Of course,” she responded softly before fleeing the room. 

“ Well,” Johnathan breathed,” Rachel never experienced that, so I’m not entirely sure how the two differ or relate. The bond might affect each person differently, though Rachel did experience a fainting spell nearer to the end.” 

She nodded, her lips pursued in thought,” Yes, I mostly got headaches and severe cramps and aches. Before we consummated the bond, I started to feel weak and feeble. I had to spend nearly every moment with Johnathan.” 

Alyssa swallowed anxiously and and glanced at her Professor, though his features were unmoving. 

“ How did you find out?” Johnathan asked Snape, taking a sip of water. 

Alyssa glanced down at her hands before accepting a scone from the basket offered to her by Rachel. 

“ She was bullied by a group of students,” he stated darkly,” and I found her with another Head of House, suspended in the women’s lavatory. When we found her wand that’s when I realized, though I’d had my suspicions before.” 

“ That’s horrible, I’m so sorry,” Rachel frowned, reaching across to pet Alyssa’s hand. 

She smiled weekly but didn’t respond to the gesture, feeling uncomfortable enough just being touched by her, but Rachel seemed the touchy type. 

“ It’s over now. The girls were punished accurately and they are no longer of consequence to me. How did you two find out?” Alyssa asked, ignoring Snape’s eyes on her. 

Johnathan bit his lip, trying to bite back a laugh. Rachel rolled her eyes comically,” Well, Johnathan was very outspoken, and so he’d fancied me for a while. I didn’t give him the time of day until he threatened to read the entire school my diary if I didn’t agree to go out with him. We realized it while he was trying to impress me with a spell he’d learned and dropped his wand. I picked it up to hand to him and recognized it as my own, at least I was convinced it was. After nearly a twenty minute argument, he pointed out that mine was in my back pocket, and sure enough, he was right. We spoke to a professor about it and discovered what it meant, but he was a seventh year while I was a fourth and so it seemed too early.” 

“ That’s why we tried to prolong it as much as we could,” he explained,” she wasn’t ready and I didn’t want to push her.” 

“ We were able to hold off until I was in my seventh year, but,” she shook her head lightly,” I won’t tell you it was easy.” 

“ It wasn’t,” he scoffed,” She was constantly in pain or—“ 

“ John,” she reprimanded humorously. 

“ And in need of attention,” he finished dryly. 

“ Aside from that, it put a lot of stress on our relationship. We couldn’t think clearly when were together because all we could think about was each other and the physical portion of it all.” 

They continued their conversation over tea and scones, though they never touched on anything too intimate. At least, not until Rachel stood up and offered her hand to Alyssa. 

“ You and I are going to chat back at mine and Johnathan’s place. The boys will meet up later,” Rachel smiled. 

Alyssa glanced to Snape for approval but he merely nodded, scanning her over briefly before agreeing. She took the woman’s hand tentatively, not expecting to apparate that very second. 

“ Sorry, I should have warned you,” Rachel realized, rubbing the girls back as she leaned over to catch her breath. 

“ No, no—sorry, I just don’t do this a lot,” she laughed. 

“ So,” Rachel led, tugging Alysa along to the garden where they sat under the pavilion to talk. 

The place was massive, and they were clearly well off. She wandered idly where the children were, but her mind was soon taken off of it when Rachel continued her line of thought. 

“ I expect you have a million questions about the physical area of the bond. As Johnathan and I have just about done it all, I’m sure I can answer whatever you might ask. My family was very private about such matters so I didn’t know anything until Johnathan. We sort of, figured it out together,” she shrugged. 

Alyssa blushed but tried to relax, so she started with her own family,” My parents were never affectionate. They never spoke about intimacy. They hardly spoke to each other, so I don’t have much ground to stand on. I know from my friend Dani the basics of it, I suppose, but she’s not very well educated either and—“

“ You’re confused, nervous, and scared,” Rachel supplied. 

Alyssa sighed in relief,” Yes.” 

“ Well, what’s something you’d like to know?” 

She thought about it for a moment, and she couldn’t think of anything that wasn’t garishly out of boundaries. 

“ You can ask me anything, truly. I’m not a private or reserved person,” Rachel added, trying to lighten the mood. 

“ Did it hurt?” Alyssa puzzled. 

Rachel’s eyes widened,” Not in the slightest. Then again, John and I were both ready. We’d been snogging and warming up to each other all morning so I was relaxed and calm. He knew exactly what to do with his hands, and where to put them, so it just felt like second nature. By the time we actually got to penetration, John had already had his fingers inside of me, and I was so wet that my muscles didn’t strain much. Though, I will say that having a penis inside of you is not the same thing as fingers, and it definitely feels foreign. It’s a bit uncomfortable at first because your vagina has to stretch and adjust to his girth. As long he keeps your clitoris stimulated, it’s wonderful.” 

As soon as she’d said it all, she realized Alyssa had no idea what half of what she’d said meant. 

“ Alright, you look confused. What was foreign to you?” 

Alyssa blushed heavily, but forced herself to keep eye contact as Rachel adjusted the potted plants on the table. 

“ You said it didn’t hurt because you were, erm —“

“ Wet?”

“ Yes,” she replied shyly. 

“ When you’re in a moment, it could be snogging or a massage or listening to him talk, but especially direct stimulation to your breasts or your vulva lubricates your entrance. It’s your body’s natural way of making things slippery so that things move easier rather than painfully.” 

She nodded in understanding,” And he put his–his fingers inside of you?” 

Rachel laughed,” It’s not as mortifying as it sounds. The idea of it, I admit sounds a little exotic and bizarre. But, eventually, Severus is going to be inside of you. He’s going to kiss you—he’s going to taste your mouth, and you’re going to taste his. Snape might be a private person, but I imagine he’s a bit more primal than you might think. I have no doubt that he’ll make you his in every way, and you can expect him to kiss your neck and touch your breasts. Men are fascinated with breasts by the way, and he’s going to massage them, and kiss them, and bite and lick—“ she paused upon seeing the horrified look on Alyssa’s face. 

“ And you’re going to love it,” she reassured,” It doesn’t hurt. As a matter of fact, you’ll find that you quite enjoy his attentions. Not to mention, it slows down the process because his lavishing your body satisfies the bond if only for a little while. As does oral sex, and again, it’s sounds terrible, but it’s really not as bad as you think. You’re going to be very paranoid about it at first. You’re going to imagine his hand touching you down there, rubbing your private area and pushing his fingers inside of you, but it is a fantastic way to relax your muscles because it’s preparing them for what’s actually to come. Because a finger is nothing compared to a penis when it’s inside of you. And you’ll want to be wet. It’ll feel better. Besides, in my opinion, I’d rather his head be between my legs than his manhood.” 

Alyssa covered her face, unable to listen intently to the explicit description Rachel was giving her. Rachel sighed. 

“ The two of you need to talk about this. You need to ask him questions about things you don’t understand, no matter how detailed they might be. He is going to perform oral sex on you, and if he doesn’t, he doesn’t deserve access in the first place,” Rachel scoffed. 

“ Would you rather I just talk instead of you asking questions, and what you don’t understand you can ask me after?” Rachel offered generously. 

Alyssa nodded awkwardly. 

“ Alright, so, when you perform oral sex on him, whatever you do, don’t use your teeth. At all, understand? Because he’ll hate it and it’ll hurt him. So just lick and suck like a lollipop, no teeth. Play with his balls, they like that, and focus on the underside of the top. Oh, also, when he orgasms, don’t let it scare you because it did me the first time, and I almost bit him and it was terrible, so don’t freak out. You don’t have to swallow it’s not a big deal but just take it out of your mouth. Okay?” 

“ When we have, erm, sex, it won’t hurt when he’s moving? What if it’s too hard or—“

“ If he goes to fast or moved to roughly just tell him. The most important part of sex, regardless of what position or style or who it’s with, is to communicate. You have to accept the fact that you’re doing it anyway, so you might as well get the best out of it, and you won’t get that unless you’re open with each other about it.” 

Alyssa let a breath of air that she’d been holding and agreed. She was going to ask another question when Johnathan and Snape walked up the small hill to the garden. After talking to Rachel, Alyssa didn’t even want to look Snape in the eye. All she could think about was very, very dirty thoughts. Classes tomorrow would be very interesting, she thought to herself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So...Rachel is very open and not shy in the slightest, very much like Dani...the complete opposite of Alyssa. Still, she discovers some useful information. I think that sexual health and sexual education is very important but people don’t talk about it because it’s ‘taboo’. I wish we talked more about it because if people were more aware of what they were doing and the choices they were making when it comes to sex, so many diseases and unwanted pregnancies could be avoided. Okay, that’s just my spill. But can we be more accepting of sex rested questions, please?!???


	10. Chapter Ten

She had been absolutely, positively correct when she realized she wouldn’t be able to think about anything other than her professor for the next day. She hardly got any sleep that night, as the thought of him lying so close beside her, unmoving and sleeping silently, confused, frightened, and infatuated her. She never knew what he actually wore to bed. Usually, she went to sleep before him, but when he laid down, it would wake her up. In the mornings, he was awake and dressed before her, and so it was only another thought to plague her mind. Mostly, though, she couldn’t keep her mind off an image in her mind of his head buried between her legs. At breakfast, Dani had wanted all of the details, most of which Alyssa had no answer for. 

“ Was his bed soft?” she prompted curiously. 

Alyssa sighed,” Yes.” 

“ Dose he touch you when he sleeps? Like does he hold you or anything?” She whispered, keeping her voice down so no one heard her. 

Alyssa laughed,” Not hardly. I don’t even see him before he comes to bed.” 

“ Ugh, well, have you kissed yet?” 

“ No, Danielle, we haven’t. Anything else?” Alyssa teased. 

“ You're giving me nothing so I have to ask questions to find anything out,” Dani huffed, making Alyssa laugh. 

“ There’s nothing to tell. Nothings happened I—it’s oddly normal,” she shrugged. 

“ Oh, Merlin, but there is nothing normal about this!” Dani exclaimed, drawing the attention of several people around them. 

Alyssa blushed and glanced shyly at the head table to see Snape watching the interaction intently. When they were dismissed for classes, Alyssa tried her very best to pay attention to her teachers, but everyone she thought about the professor speaking, Professor Snape popped into her mind. Professor McGonagall reminded her of the sternness of Snape. Professor Flitwick usually wore a black suit, which was the only color Snape wore. Professor Moody assigned work like Snape did, and Professor Sprout hosted a class that was far too familiar to Potions. When she actually got to Potions, she was ashamed to be so aroused, which she know understood thanks to Rachel. Snape was sitting behind his desk this time, scrawling messily on a sheet of parchment while the students set up their belongings. Due to his early presence, most students were afraid to talk for fear of being reprimanded or sentenced to detention. His eyes narrowed in on her as she sat down, and confused by this, she hid her face. Throughout the lesson, she jotted down the notes as they appeared on the board, but that was only the semblance of attention she could offer to the class. She couldn’t focus, not with the way he kept looking at her, or how his mouth moved when he spoke, or his voice...she dug her nails into her palms as she listened to him speak. His words were so eloquent and pronounced so delicately it was mesmerizing. And he never stumbled on a word, not once. His tongue never slipped, and she couldn’t help but to wonder how perfect of a job it could do elsewhere. Then, her eyes trailed lower, and she found herself subconsciously licking her lips as she analyzed how his hips might fit between hers. 

When class was dismissed, she was the first to leave the room, disheveled and flushed and eager to return to her dormitory to see Dani to distract her. She couldn’t imagine going back to the room with Snape, not after thinking about him all day. She spent the afternoon amongst friends, chatting anxiously about the upcoming task and the Yule Ball, of course. Many girls had their eyes on the Durmstrang blokes, though none had been asked yet. Dani and Tomas were still fairing well, and he and his friends actually joined them at their table for dinner. The conversation was kept light, but she could sense there was something else in the works, just judging by the looks they shared with one another. By the time she finally returned to Snape’s chambers, it was dark out and quite late. She placed her bag by the door and intended on walking past Snape who was still sitting in his armchair, but he wouldn’t allow it. 

“ Miss Hellstrand, come, now,” he ordered plainly, his voice void of emotion or sensitivity. 

She swallowed nervously but obeyed and moved to his side. He held a hand out to her, making her frown. She took it hesitantly, and he tugged her closer. 

“ Sit,” he demanded glancing down at his lap. 

She dreaded it because she knew she wanted more and that request would be denied. Still dressed in her school uniform, she sat carefully, keeping the hem tugged down into place. Snape didn’t seem to mind it though, as he skimmed his hand down the side of her covered thigh and hoisted them both up over his other leg. The motion had caused her to slump against him. He was holding her as one would a baby, and he pinched her chin carefully between his thumb and forefinger, forcing her to look at him. His eyes were darker than usual, probably from a mixture of alcohol and what she could perceive as lust. If only she knew how accurate that guess was. His other hand rested on her knee, sliding up the hem of the skirt carefully to draw lazy circles on the inside of her leg that inched further up with ever pass of his fingers. 

“ I know that Rachel placed some intriguing thoughts into your mind, but I ask that you refrain from thinking on them during class. Your mind is like an open book for a legillimens, and usually, I peruse your mind to determine how much you’re retaining from class so that I can teach you better. Though, all you seemed to be learning today was how wide you’ll need to spread your legs when I take you, or when my head is between your thighs.” 

Red flooded her face with humiliation, and she fought to look away from him. Seeing exactly how much his words had embarrassed her, he tried to smooth it over, feeling guilty. 

“ Don’t fret,” he reassured, lifting her chin back up to peer into her eyes. 

“ You’ve nothing to be embarrassed about. Rachel apparently placed several, very intimate images in your mind and it can be difficult to not think about, especially when you are already very aware of who all of those scenarios would be played out with. I, myself, have thought about them, but, perhaps it would be best to avoid thinking on such things in class,” he hummed, running his hand back down over her knee. 

She suddenly realized what Rachel meant about being wet and ready. She pulled her thighs together and nodded silently, but completely melted in his clutch when he placed a gentle, lingering kiss against her forehead. It made her skin tingle and her body feel warm. 

“ Go, rest. You have classes tomorrow,” he muttered against her skin, running a hand quickly down her side. 

His actions had made it exponentially more difficult to fall asleep that night. She showered slowly, washing herself thoroughly with his body wash this time, just to feel closer to him, and to see if he noticed. She crawled into bed tiredly, but sleep escaped her. She tossed and turned, and after a few times she moved even more just to feel the silkiness of the sheets against her skin and cotton shorts. Her mind ran endlessly, and she struggled desperately to shut it off. When Snape finally came to bed, she was still awake so she watched his silhouette move silently through the darkness, expertly guiding himself to his dresser for clothes before disappearing into the bathroom. She wondered what would happen if she walked in while he was in the shower, but then thought better of it. In time, she kept telling herself. After his lips had brushed against her skin, she longed to feel it again. She had dozed off before he came out, but the soft clicking of the the door woke her again. She stayed silent when he laid down, trying to make him believe that she was still asleep so she could turn and watch him later. 

“ Sleep, Miss Hellstrand, you have need of it,” he said softly. 

A small smile crossed her lips at his acknowledgement of her and she turned away from him, amusement tugging at her lips. She heard him shift, and before she could glance over to see what he was doing, his hand brushed a strand of her damp hair back and his head hovered over her neck. 

“ Careful of using what does not belong to you,” he reprimanded,” someone might recognize my scent on you.” 

Desire immediately formed between her thighs, and she was incredibly desperate for him then. His lips grazed her jaw as he turned away from her. Oh, it was a hard night to find sleep. 

•••

The time for the second task was growing near, and her heart flooded with concern for Harry. He had narrowly escaped the wrath of the dragon in the first task, and since each event was said to get harder and more dangerous, she was deeply worried. 

“ He can’t die, can he? Surely they would pull him out of the tournament before it’s too late,” Alyssa frowned over dinner. 

The tournament was set for next week, and she had never in her life been so stressed. To be fair, she had four exams to study for as well. 

“ I would expect so,” Tomas shrugged, pushing around a small pile of beans on his plate. 

Alyssa nodded, trying to reassure herself that in the worst case scenario, he’d simply be hurt, and hopefully not severely either. 

“ Oh, did you hear that Moody turned Draco into a ferret?” Dani squealed in humor. 

“ No way,” Tomas laughed,” Serves the little greased pig right. “ 

“ I know. Apparently, McGonagall reprimanded him for it, but I wish I’d been there to see it,” Dani giggled. 

“ I can’t believe he wasn’t punished more for it,” Alyssa smiled, glancing in the boy’s direction. 

“ Oh, I think Dumbledore likes him too much for that,” Tomas sighed. 

Alyssa frowned,” You know he’s going to tell Lucius and bring the whole of the Ministry down on him.” 

“ I don’t think the Ministry will do much to Mad Eye. He might lock them up,” Tomas chimed in. 

“ We need to find dresses for the ball,” Dani said nonchalantly to Alyssa.

She rolled her eyes and opened her mouth to argue when Dani cut her off,” I mean, I need you to help me find a dress for the ball. I know you’re not going.” 

Alysa grinned at her mischievous friend and shook her head,” Fine.” 

When Alyssa got in that night, she felt lightheaded and extremely tired. She wanted nothing more than to curl up in bed and go to sleep, but Snape could see a definite change In her when she walked in. He stood and took her bag from her hand at the doorway before she could faint, and he pulled against his body, running his hand carefully down her back. She hummed softly into his chest, relaxing against his warm frame. 

“ How long have you felt like this without telling me,” he scolded sharply, though this time there was an air of emotion other than anger hidden in the dark tendrils of his voice. 

She sighed and tried to move out of his grasp,” An hour. I was studying with Dani so I could do my paper when I got here.” 

His eyes narrowed, “ No, you need to rest.” 

She groaned exasperatedly,” I have work to do, most of which you assigned, so.” 

Her statement was followed with a shrug as she grabbed her bag and deposited herself on the couch. She spread her legs out on the other cushion while Snape, annoyed by her attitude, gathered his things and moved to sit beside her. She glared at him, unwilling to move her legs, which only angered him more. He placed the stack of papers on the table and lifted her limbs, and while she expected him to drop them on the ground, he placed them in his lap. She quirked a brow at him. 

“ You're being nice,” she pointed out, “ why? What did you do?” 

He cast her a warning glance which made her pipe down some, and he continued grading the papers. For several minutes, she didn’t notice the subtle movements he was making, gradually moving his hand closer to her ankle. She was busy writing the essay assigned for his class. It wasn’t until he tugged on her shoe laces that she noticed what he was doing. She glanced up and narrowed her eyes at him, partially annoyed that he was breaking her concentration, but also because she hadn’t any idea what he was planning. He removed her shoe slowly, so that she could feel it grazing against her socks. 

She moved her feet off of him quickly, flustered by the sensuality of it, and dropped them on the floor. She abandoned her books to take a shower, and then her mind wandered to what he was doing. Why did he do that? Did he just want to see her feet? That’s creepy, she thought. Or maybe he was going to undress her. She had a chill at that thought. As much as she wanted him, she didn’t want him to see her naked. Then again, he sort of already did when he found her in that state not too long ago. For whatever strange reason, the act had aroused her, which was strange because removing her shoe tickled more than anything as the side of it grazed languidly against the thick material of her socks. When she returned, he’d made a pot of tea and was looking over her essay, without her her expressing a desire for him to do so. 

“ What are you doing,” she snapped in annoyance after pouring a mug for herself, uncomfortable with the fact that he was reading it without her permission and before she’d cleaned it up any. 

“ Reading,” he returned as if it were obvious, his brow furrowing at a line on the parchment. 

“ Really, now?” She replied, equally as sarcastic. 

“ Yes, you’re vocabulary has improved as of late. I expect that’s my doing,” he retorted dryly. 

She gulped, not sure if she should be angry about his implication or not. He wasn’t wrong, per-say, she had felt like she’d matured and learned words that she’d never quite heard before while in his presence, then again, she was already smart before, at least she felt she was. He handed her the paper, while glancing down her frame, eyeing her legs a little longer than necessary. She had put on a sweatshirt, but she didn’t want to get hot, so she slid on a pair of pajamas shorts, that were, admittedly, a little short. But her feet often get cold, so she put on some thick wooly socks, which evidently, drew his eyes to her legs. She suddenly felt very self conscious, so she sat down and pulled her legs up beneath her. Still, his eyes wouldn’t move off of her. 

“ You’re grammar is impeccable, but your research is incorrect,” he finished, turning to look over his grading on the essay in front of him. 

“ No, it’s not. It can’t be wrong, it was in the textbook,” she argued vaguely. 

He narrowed his eyes,” Yes, I know. I’ve read it, Miss Hellstrand, but it is inaccurate. You’ve created the potion in class, do you recall using that much Bloodroot?” 

She opened her mouth to prove him wrong, only she couldn’t because she quickly realized that she had indeed, not used that much. She closed her eyes, annoyed with herself, and with him. 

“ Well, you never pointed it out in class,” she huffed, grabbing a fresh sheet of parchment from his desk to rewrite her paper. 

His lip quirked slightly at her dissatisfaction and watched her redo the entire thing. She huffed, having run out of ink towards the end of her sentence and quickly re-dipped the quill into the pot. 

“ You could be less smug about this, you know. I can’t be held responsible for knowing something that you changed from the textbook,” she retorted dryly, trying to ignore the fact that his eyes hadn’t left her. 

“ Don’t you have more papers to grade?” She quipped sarcastically, growing anxious beneath his stare. 

He was in a daze of his own, admiring the impressive length of her legs and longing to caress them, to run his nose up her instep and plant his mouth on her lovely womanhood. Heated with embarrassment, she quickly finished her paper and placed it in the folder of her bag, suddenly desperate to get out of his line of sight. He watched her stand and bend to put away her things, and unsurprisingly, it aroused him. He placed the essays on his lap seamlessly, making it appear that he had returned to his work, but really he simply needed to cover his growing erection. 

She wanted to do things with him, but something in her head kept telling her that her feelings were wrong and inappropriate. How could it be wrong if the alternative was death? How could she not do those things if it killed one of them—or both? Not too long after, he entered the room to gather clothing for a shower. She had still not fallen asleep yet, and he emerged before she could. She felt him sit down, but he made no effort to lie down for sleep. Curiously, she turned to spare a glance in his direction when the bedside light flickered on. She squinted, not expecting him to do such a thing when she was clearly trying to sleep, but when her eyes moved to him to scold him, she noticed a hairbrush in his hand, and her anger melted away immediately. He was watching her expressions with intrigue and wonder, but her eyes had moved away from the brush and to his clothing, which, unsurprisingly, was also black. He wore black pajama pants and a matching black shirt, revealing the dark mark on his arm. She swallowed nervously. She had known about that, as did most of Hogwarts students. Professor Snape was formerly a Death Eater, working as a spy for Dumbledore in the ranks of the Dark Lord. She sat up slowly, not wanting to scare him, but her eyes didn’t leave his tattoo. 

“ You seemed to be having trouble falling asleep as of late, I thought this might help,” he offered, slowly. 

Her eyes flickered up to his and a warm, truly elated smile broke across her face, making his own lip twitch up. He moved gracefully back against the headboard and parted his legs for her to sit between, and so she moved without hesitation. Her eyes closed as the brush found her scalp, gently combing through the damp strands. After several minutes of soothing strokes, she reached behind her and gently grasped the arm with the tattoo. She pulled it from her hair and placed it on her lap, palm up. She gently stroked his palm, tracing down his wrist softly and paused at the tattoo. He had completely stilled the moment she took his hand. He was paralyzed with worry that she would hate him. 

“ I never saw my parents’. I was aware of their involvement and I knew of the mark, but I’d never seen it. That’s why you were long sleeves, right? To cover it?” She asked. 

“ Yes,” he whispered weakly, concern oozing through his words. 

“ Did it hurt?” She inquired, tracing it lightly with her index finger. 

He drew in a sharp breath, surprised by the fact that the skin there was much more sensitive and receptive to her touch. 

“ Yes,” he responded carefully, his voice strained. 

“ I admire you,” she breathed, shyly informing her of her feelings on it,” I think that you’re incredibly brave and strong. I don’t know anyone who could’ve done that, and from what I’ve heard, the information you delivered to Dumbledore helped him greatly. I know there must be an underlying reason why you did it, and I don’t expect you to tell me. I just want you to know that you shouldn’t be ashamed of it. It shows how strong you really are and that you care, and more people should see that side of you.” 

Her face was warmed with shyness, but she was sincere in her words. He was surprised by her genuineness and by what she said. He closed his eyes, reveling in the fact that he had finally found someone who didn’t hate him, who didn’t expect anything from him, or to use him as a chess piece. Perhaps it was the bond’s doing, but he pulled her back against his chest, letting her rest her head on his shoulder. Slowly, he tilted her head back and up towards his own, and as their eyes met, black facing off the rich blue in her own, he placed a soft, warm kiss to her lips, lingering there for several seconds. When he pulled away, her cheeks were flushed and she was staring up at him in awe and wonder, the admiration she had for him was clear in her eyes. Seeing that, and not just hearing, he couldn’t control himself, or maybe he just couldn’t resist the opportunity, his lips came down on her again, this time with a bit more fervor. He still was rough by any means, but his lips encased hers with a rushed tenderness, and before she was aware of it, his tongue had slipped gently into her mouth, and a soft moan echoed from her throat as his had came up to support her neck. He kissed her with passion, deepening the kiss capturing her tongue before exploring her mouth with the utmost attention and affection. She felt like she was in heaven, being swept up into the clouds expertly. He tasted of mint, but he smelled strongly of cedar, which turned her on exponentially. At last, he broke the kiss, leaving her winded and breathing against his neck. He looked back down to observe her peaceful state, watching her eyes droop tiredly. 

“ What did I say about using what doesn’t belong to you,” he hummed against her ear, his voice deep and huskier than usual, and Merlin was that a turn on. 

“ Hm?” She answered sleepily. 

“ You’ve been using my toothpaste,” he responded leisurely. 

She smiled weakly,” It’s not as fragrant as your body wash so we compromised.” 

He kissed the side of her mouth as she relaxed in his arms,” Fair enough. Sleep, darling.” 

She shivered at his pet name for her, and oh, how she loved it. She fell asleep on him in the same position, and feeling drowsy himself, he laid them both down, allowing her to lie on his chest. He flicked the light off and fell peacefully to sleep.


	11. Chapter Eleven

She woke the next morning alone, her body splayed across the expense of the empty bed. It took her a few minutes of yawning and stretching to process everything that had happened last night, and the result was a flushed face and heavy eyes. She pushed herself out of bed and to the bathroom where she got ready languidly. When she finally made it down to breakfast, her eyes instinctually found Snape at the Head Table. She bit her lip and then looked away, trying to remember the promise she’d made to him the night before. 

“ Hey, do you want to go to Hogsmeade after classes? Tomas’ birthday is coming up and I should really get him a gift,” Dani whispered to Alyssa. 

She nodded back, offering a mild shrug as she pulled her Defense Against the Dark Arts book from her bag. They were going to be taking a test on Boggarts soon and she wanted to look over the material. As her eyes skimmed the pages tirelessly, she thought back to Dani’s statement.

“ I suppose you and Tomas are doing well. Have you written Mason yet?” She inquired curiously. 

“ No, and I’m not sure I will. I’d rather tell him in person,” she paused,” because Tomas is going home with me for holiday.” 

Alyssa eyes widened and she choked on her pumpkin juice,” He’s what?” 

“ Oh, don’t act coy, I imagine you and yours are spending the holiday together!” She retorted dryly. 

Alyssa scoffed,” That’s entirely different. I don’t have anywhere to go, and even if I did, I couldn’t, Danielle. Besides, this isn’t something we are taking lightly, it’s unavoidable and permanent—“

“ You don’t think we can last?” Dani snarked in annoyance. 

“ That’s not what I said,” she sighed, not in the mood to argue with her friend. 

“ Oh? Then what did you say?” 

“ I just mean that you and Tomas are moving a bit fast, don’t you think? You’ve only been together for what? Two or three weeks?” 

“ And you and—“

Alyssa narrowed her eyes. 

“ Have only been together for two and a half weeks and you’re already going to—“

“ Do you hear yourself at all when you talk or is it just a jumble of words?” 

“ You are ridiculous! I cannot believe you are doubting me! I wouldn’t bring him home if I thought my parents wouldn’t approve!”

“ Really? That’s what you’re worried about? What your parents think? What about you, Dani, how do you feel?” 

Dani opened her mouth to say something but then shut it quickly. 

“ I–I really like him, Alyssa, and it hurts my feeling that you don’t support this.” 

“ I do support it, I just thought you were moving a little fast is all,” she breathed and then shrugged,” I didn’t know the two of you were that serious. You haven’t talked much about it.” 

“ I haven’t really seen you to talk about it,” Dani responded quietly. 

Alyssa bristled at the comment, but, she was right. Ever since she moved into Snape’s chambers she had hardly seen Danielle. And it wasn’t as if she was avoiding her or had forgotten her, she’d simply gotten so caught up in her own life. 

“ You’re right. Tell you what, tonight after we get back from Hogsmeade, I’ll stay with you,” she promised. 

Dani’s eyes lit up,” You will? Oh, thank goodness, I’ve missed you and there’s so much we have to catch up on and, I don’t know what’s going on with you. And we need to find dresses for the ball, and—“

“ Slow down,” Alyssa smiled in amusement, laughing to herself. 

Oh, she suddenly realized, how would she tell Snape, exactly? She faked an enthusiastic grin as Dani rambled on, though she thought solely of her new found predicament. Her eyes darted up to Snape as students cleared from the halls, and his eyes pierced back through her. Immediately, all she could think of was his surprisingly soft lips sending little sparks across her skin, and the way his tongue caressed her own. She wilted beneath his stars and found herself struggling through the rest of her day. 

The time had arrived when she had no choice but to tell him. Classes had been dismissed and she was packing an overnight bag for Dani’s room when Snape walked into the bedroom, having just entered his chambers and eager to find his little mate scuffling about his bed. His eyes narrowed at the sight, and his shoulders went stiff as his guard slowly raised up. He was disappointed. His first thoughts were that he’d upset her, moved too quickly and frightened her. Or perhaps, he was simply not good enough for her and she was just now realizing that she didn’t want to be with someone as old as him. That she’d rather die than—

“ Oh, hi,” she breathed nervously, keeping her back towards him. 

She didn’t notice his stiffness because she was too worried to face him. 

“ Dani wants to buy Tomas a gift for his birthday which is coming up and I haven’t spent any time with her since I’ve moved in here. I hope it’s okay...I thought it would be good for me to stay the night with her. Just to make sure she’s alright. She hasn’t been very talkative lately, and if you know Danielle, that’s very unlike her,” Alyssa rambled, still unable to meet his gaze. 

“ Very well. Do be cautious; I’d hate to have to come collect you should you find yourself in the reach of death,” he snarled bitterly. 

She flinched at his harsh tone, and though his was rarely soft, it had shocked her as it was abnormally frank. She turned to face him, not hiding her surprise when she noticed his guarded features, and the look of utter rejection in his eyes. 

“ I—“ 

“ I don’t need details, Miss Hellstrand. Carry on,” he snapped before turning shortly and going to the sitting room. 

The door to the bedroom slammed shut, leaving her flabbergasted. She huffed and finished packing her bag before quickly freshening up in the bathroom. She glanced at the toothbrush, Snape’s toothbrush, and defiantly, she turned the tap on, and smothered it in his toothpaste before brushing her teeth. It had been more of a passive hit, but it satisfied her need for revenge at that moment. She was more than willing to leave without the regret after his little stunt, but the moment she stepped outside of the door and saw him downing a glass of firewhiskey before snatching a stack of papers from the table, her heart dropped. Determined not to end up like her parents, constantly feuding and simply coexisting, she decided not to just let it go. She had to make it right. Even though he had acted wrongly, her ignorance of it doesn’t solve the issue, rather, it exacerbated it. She walked quietly up to the couch, and he either ignored or didn’t notice her presence until she took the papers out of his hands. Annoyed, he looked up, opening his mouth to argue when she set the stack of papers back down on the table, and instead, straddled him. Her heart was beating rambunctiously in her chest, which she did her best to conceal with what she tried to convince herself was sensual breathing, but really she was just panting softly out of nervousness. His jaw tightened as she lowered herself onto his lap, knees drawn up on either side of him. She was still dressed in her school uniform, having been unable to decide what to wear without knowing what Dani had planned, so she’d packed several options to take to her old room and change. Her bare thighs rested on his as she swallowed anxiously. 

“ I don’t want you to think that I’m leaving because I was scared, or intimidated, or disgusted by you. I’m not, or I wouldn’t be sitting here now,” she breathed. 

“ Okay, “ she admitted,” You do intimidate me, but only because I admire you and find your authoritative complex intriguing. I trust you. I am attracted to you.” 

She blushed and rested her hands on his shoulders,” And I want you to know that the only reason I’m going tonight, of all nights, is because, as much as I care about you and us, I also care about Dani, and she’s not being herself. I need to make sure she’s okay. And...I want this to be okay.” 

He watched her carefully, his expression slowly loosening into a much more genuine one. Without anymore procrastination or hesitation, she leaned forward and kissed him, resting her lips softly against his and enjoying the feeling of his warm skin against her own. She didn’t want to let go, and she certainly didn’t want him to resist. Much to her pleasure, he returned the kiss, albeit with a little more vigor. He wasn’t aggressive as he was passionate, and his hands, though callous as they were, came up gently to grip her waist, while the other climbed slowly up her back to grip her chin. He quickly took over the kiss, and she backed down willingly, allowing him dominance as it was rightfully his position, at least in her mind. His tongue slipped between her lips, this time not waiting or asking for permission, though no objection came from her, merely a small whimper from her throat as he grazed her scalp with his nails. Her back inclined into him as he aroused her further with the soft prickling of her head as he twisted the strands of her hair carefully in between his fingers. Shyly, she pulled away from the kiss, only to place one of her own against the side of his mouth, another on his jaw, a third just above his collar, and returned back to his lips. 

“ Don’t doubt my loyalty and compassion for you. But also, don’t doubt my loyalty and compassion for my friends,” she whispered against his now reddened lips. 

He swept a soft kiss against her lips once more before planting a resting one against her forehead. 

“ I apologize for jumping to conclusions, Miss Hellstrand,” he said sardonically, “ I respect your friendship, as I respect you. Should you need anything, please do not hesitate to call for me. Even in the midst of the night, I’ll be there should you want for me.” 

His voice was sincere, and he fingered through her hair kindly as his eyes glided across her face. 

She flushed,” Thank you, Professor,” as she climbed off of him, she couldn’t help but to tell him how she felt. 

“ I know this must not be very easy for you. I want you to know that I appreciate the effort you’re putting into this, and,” she paused,” I’m very happy that it is you I will be spending the rest of my life with. I’m aware that we are very different in many ways, but there’s no one I trust or respect more, let alone enough to be with them. I’ll be back soon, Professor.” 

Before she could walk away and pick up her bag, he caught her hand carefully in his grasp and pulled her back to him, this time he was standing, lowering his head so that he was closer to her. 

“ Severus, call me Severus,” he finally corrected, filling her up with the utmost joy. 

She beamed an infectious smile, making his lips quirk in response. 

“ I’ll be back soon, Severus,” she said cheerfully. 

He kissed her cheek,” I expect nothing less.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So kinda short chapter...I’ve been busy with my classes. Speech is sort of kicking my ass. Writing, I’m fairly well at, speaking, on the other hand, is an entirely different matter, which, I mean to say, I do not do very well, particularly when it is done so publicly. However, I did write a decent speech, and merely performed it poorly, as in I gave a five minute speech in two minutes and earned an 89% as a result for not making it to the full, required three minutes. Alas, the nerves will never fully part from me. More to come...


	12. Chapter Twelve

She giggled as she and Dani trotted down the hill to Hogsmeade eager to find a store carrying whatever it was Dani had in mind. Of course, a trip to Hogsmeade was never complete with a visit to Honeyduke’s and a large mug of butter beer. After those two stops, the girls were full of energy and delved into the trick shop, unable to make it out without glancing through nearly every little gadget and surprise. Dani ended up purchasing him some of his favorite candy and his own board of wizard’s chess, but she still wanted to get him a card, so they went over to the bookstore to find one. Ever distracted as they were, Alyssa roamed down the aisles while Dani busied herself in the romance section. She had just picked up a mystery novel when Dani appeared at the end of the aisle with her hand over her mouth. 

“ What?” Alyssa inquired curiously. 

Dani motioned for her to follow, and so she did, mystery novel in hand. 

“ I thought I saw something,” Dani whispered, tugging Alyssa to the end of a history aisle. 

She glanced at Alyssa before lifting up a book titled Bonded Magic: A Comprehensive History from the shelf. Alyssa swallowed nervously and opened the book, flipping through the pages slowly until she paused over a sketch of a man and woman engaging in intercourse. She flushed and continued with her observation. 

“ If nothing else, it could be helpful, to learn more about it rather than just rely on what everyone else tells you,”Dani shrugged. 

Alyssa nodded bleakly. She wasn’t sure why, but for whatever reason, she suddenly felt sad. Perplexed by these new found emotions, she paid for the book and forced a smile on her face, determined to make the night about Dani. After Dani found Tomas a card, they walked back up the hill to the castle, making it just in time for dinner. They put the items they purchased in Dani’s room before arriving at the dining hall, at which point, Dani remembered they hadn’t even looked for dresses. With an exasperated sigh, she informed Alyssa. 

“ We can go again soon, I know you’ll probably want to wait anyhow so your parents will send more money for you to spend,” Alyssa teased, drawing a shy grin from Dani. 

After a large, filling meal of roasted chicken and potatoes, and mushroom soup, they ended up back in Dani’s empty room. Alyssa reclaimed her former bed, sprawling out across it as Dani showered. When she finished, Alyssa went, though she was beginning to feel queasy. She threw up in the toilet, but she assumed it was nothing more than eating too much candy before dinner. It had happened before after all. She shivered as she crawled beneath the blankets on her bed and shot Dani a baffled look when she straightened her posture. 

“ What is it?” Alyssa inquired curiously. 

“ Tomas tried to touch me the other day,” she said, biting her lip anxiously. 

Alyssa frowned,” What do you mean?” 

Dani sighed and fished a piece of chocolate from her bag and unwrapped the treat, popping it in her mouth as she braved herself for the conversation. 

“ He tried to touch me. We were hanging out down by the lake, I was leaning back against him and he slid his arms around me, which he’d done before. But, then he slid his hand down my stomach, and onto my knee. He kept inching his way up, and I didn’t stop him, until he was touching me there...” 

Alyssa flushed and looked away, patiently waiting for Dani to say something else. 

“ Did you not want him to?” She inquired, after Dani grew quiet. 

“ No,” she said softly,” no, I did. The problem is that I’m nervous because I have a feeling he’s going to want me to do things for him soon, and I know I’m not obligated to do it, but I’m not ready for sex and I don’t want to turn him down either. I just am...scared.” 

Alyssa was quiet for a second. 

“ If he truly cares about you, he won’t expect it, and he won’t push you. Is it the act itself you’re concerned about or is it him?” 

Dani opened her mouth and breathed out heavily,” I think it’s the act. I mean I like Tomas, he’s sweet and funny, but I don’t want to mess up or look stupid. And I don’t want to feel stupid.” 

Alyssa sighed,” Well that’s something I’m struggling with, too.”

“ What all have you done so far?” Dani inquired curiously, stretching her legs. 

Alyssa laughed softly,” Nothing. He’s been a perfect gentleman. He hadn’t pushed or tried for anything unless it’s necessary and I’m in pain. Although...”

She paused, fondly recalling last night and falling asleep against his steady chest. 

“ We kissed. I was having trouble sleeping, and I think it was more of my nerves than anything, but he surprised me and brushed my hair last night, and then he kissed me. Other than that, I’ve sat in his lap once but we haven’t done anything. He’s been very...patient and respectful.” 

Dani squealed,” Was there tongue?” 

Alyssa laughed,” Yes, for a moment.” 

“ Was it good?” She grinned excitedly. 

“ Well, I haven’t got anything to compare it to, but, yes, it was lovely.” 

“ Wait, a moment, he kissed you last night, and you’re here with me?” Dani shouted, bewildered as ever. 

Giggling, Alyssa shrugged,” I wanted to catch up with my best friend.” 

“ You need to go stay with that man. I may not understand him, but the two of you certainly have something and I won’t be the excuse for avoiding him. Up you go,” she ordered, standing and ushering Alyssa out of the room, tossing her belongings at her all Willy-nilly. 

“ Dani, I can’t just—“

And the door slammed in her face with a harsh thud,” I love you, see you tomorrow, dear,” Dani sang from the other side. 

Begrudgingly, Alyssa picked up her belongings and banged on the door, willing Danielle to let her back in. She removed her wand from her bag and used an unlocking charm to no avail. She sighed. 

“ You’ve outdone yourself this time, Danielle,” she muttered under her breath. 

It was after curfew, so stealth wasn’t exactly necessary to make it back to Snape’s chambers. When she walked through the door, her belongings in tow, she was surprised to see Snape sitting upright in his armchair by the fire, holding a paper in his hand. He’d fallen asleep, somehow, in that upright, uncomfortable position, and her heart warmed at the sight of him. She needed to be with him again anyhow, she could feel it. Quietly, she put away her things, purposely leaving out the candy she’d bought for Snape, and strode over to him. She cautiously removed the papers from his lap and seated herself on the floor by his feet to finish grading the tests for him. Had it been an essay, she wouldn’t have been able to do it, not with how strict he was, but it happened to be a test for the first years and most did exceptionally well, at least the ones she saw. She contemplated what to do next. She didn’t want him sleeping there in the chair, but she wasn’t sure what the best way to wake him was. 

“ Professor,” she whispered, but he didn’t stir. 

She took a deep breath and moved between his spread legs, standing rigidly as her hand instinctually shot forward. Unable to stop herself, her fingers brushed his scalp and down to the lengths of his hair, but before she got very fair, his hand had shot out and grabbed her wrist firmly. She gasped softly, taken off guard by his seemingly violent reaction and watched the look on his face as he registered who she was. He cleared his throat and straightened his posture before examining her carefully, pulling her by her wrist onto his lap, where this time, she didn’t hesitate to find herself. She rested her head against his chest, allowing him to twist the ends of her hair while he woke up. 

“ You came back tonight,” he said huskily, making her shiver from his deeper voice. 

“ Yes, well, Dani insisted upon it. She said that I should be here enjoying your company,” she paraphrased a bit. 

He hummed softly, “ I’ll have to send my regards to Miss Raynott.” 

Her heart swelled at the small token of appreciation. It made her feel happy and desired, and for a moment she wanted to squeal with joy like a child who just got a new toy. She melted against him as he stroked lazy circles on the top of her thigh, nearly putting her to sleep. 

“ Oh, I brought you some candy. I wasn’t sure what you liked so I got a bit of everything,” she noted calmly. 

He paused for a moment,” You bought some for me?” 

His voice was strained and filled with surprise, as though he never expected to receive a present from anyone, let alone her. She frowned. 

“ Of course, I did. I got some chocolates, some lemon drops, fizzing whizzbies, blood lollies, some sugar sticks, some cinnamon flavored hard candies, peppermints, spearmints, and some sour candies.” 

He looked into her eyes and shook his head lightly,” Thank you, darling, that was very thoughtful.” 

She bit her lip at the term of endearment and nodded, suddenly very shy. 

“ You should get some rest, you’ve got class in the morning,” he noted reaching for the papers he had left only to discover they’d already been graded. 

She nodded in agreement, rising to her full height as she moved off of his lap,” You too. I guess—“ 

He pulled her back between his legs— even sitting he had a bit of a height advantage—and placed a soft kiss on her nose. She patched her arms around his neck, not wanting to move away from him. He let out a semblance of a chuckle, breathy and hoarse, but it was there and it filled her with an undying flame. She licked her lips and looked into his eyes, willing him to kiss her like he had the other night. He met her gaze, but only for a moment before shaking his head lightly. 

“ Off to bed, I can’t have you falling asleep in class tomorrow,” he chastised gently, though his voice held more of a lighter tone. 

She relented and brushed her teeth quietly, using his mouthwash as well as his toothpaste this time, and when he finally did go to bed, after his shower, he brushed her hair off of her face and trailed his knuckles down the side of her face. She smiled to herself when she thought he’d looked away, but he hadn’t yet and instead tutted his tongue. 

“ Sleep, or I’ll have no choice but to administer a sleeping drought to you,” he promised. 

She huffed and turned away from him, allowing sleep to cart her off to another realm. 

•••  
Sleeping next to her Professor, while initially unnerving, now somehow soothed her. Though, she was incredibly stressed about the second task that was coming in the next few days. She couldn’t imagine how Harry was feeling. She felt Snape shift beside her, and she stilled when she realized he was asleep. Nevertheless, curiousity overcame her, and she found herself sitting up to watch him. His eyes moved back and forth beneath his lids, leading her to believe that he was dreaming, one that she hoped was pleasant, but by the way he tensed and his brows furrowed, she knew that it was not. She wished she knew what he was dreaming about. He no doubt would know her dreams had their positions been reversed, with his gift of legillamency and all. Perhaps she could convince him to teach her. She thought about waking him up, but she knew he wouldn’t talk to her about whatever it was he was reliving. Instead, she moved and laid her head on his chest, shifting her body so that it was flush against his. Her hand rested over his heart, just beside her head, and she felt a calmness overtake him. His heartbeat slowed and he relaxed. She wondered if his dream had just ended or if it was her that had made it disappear. Or perhaps she simply woke him by moving. When she felt his hand rest on her waist, she knew it was the latter. She nuzzled his chest quietly, breathing in his delicious scent before willing herself to sleep atop him.


	13. Chapter Thirteen

The next morning, nothing was said about his dreaming habit. They carried on as usual, rising early, Snape always before her, and getting ready, Snape always out the door first, and showed up for breakfast. She seated herself next to Dani, as per custom, and Dani smirked proudly at the seemingly steady smile that graced Alyssa’s lips. 

“ Okay, I’m not sure what happened, but I expect to hear all about it later,” she stated smartly. 

Alyssa frowned in confusion,” What do you mean?” 

“ You’ve got a shit-eating grin on your face and you have since you walked through the door,” Tomas pointed out nonchalantly through a mouthful of food. 

Alyssa’s eyes widened impossibly large at Dani, worried and fearful that he knew. Her friend was quick to dismiss the thought, shaking her head lightly and shrugging. 

“ Oh, come on, it’s clearly about a boy. You’ve been quieter lately and absolutely busy all the time. I hardly see you with Dani anymore. So, who is it? Who’s the lucky bloke?” He demanded light-heartedly. 

“ It’s no bloke,” Dani scoffed, only to correct herself with,” she’s excited because she’s going to visit her cousins in Southampton over holiday.” 

He frowned,” I thought you didn’t have any—“

“ Tomas, it’s incredibly rude to say such a thing. She does, but they’re quite distant. They reached out to her after—“

“ My father was arrested,” she supplied purposefully, not allowing the small smile to fall from her face. 

“ Oh, sorry,” he shrugged. 

“ Honestly, a woman’s happiness does not revolve around a man,” she huffed, making Alyssa laugh. 

Tomas rolled his eyes,” Yes, Madame Raynott.” 

Between classes, Alyssa spotted Harry in the halls walking alone and looking quite anxious. She frowned, left Dani to herself, and marched across the corridor to the boy. 

“ Harry,” she called out gently, waiting for him to turn and look at her. 

He glanced up from his feet with a sigh and looked away,” If you’re coming to tell me that I’m going lose, save your breath. I already know that, thanks.” 

Her brows crinkled at the accusation, but then she remembered, she was a Slytherin, and historically, Slytherin have never had a good relationship with Gryffindors. 

“ On the contrary, actually. I came to tell you that I’m rooting for you, Harry. I believe that you didn’t put your name in the goblet, and if there’s anyway I can help, let me know.” 

His shoulders relaxed defeatedly,” To he honest, I wasn’t expecting to hear that from anyone, let alone a Slytherin. Thank you, I appreciate that. I’ll definitely reach out to you if there’s something I need.” 

She smiled,” Good luck, Harry, don’t let people bring you down, they’re only jealous it’s not them out there.” 

He nodded and hugged her form the side, instantly sending a shot of pain through her chest. She smiled meekly and took a deep breath before finding Dani back across the corridor. 

Through a tight-lipped smile, she said,” Dani, I need to get to Snape. Now.” 

Dani was never one to be intimidated by attention, she actually quite enjoyed it. Without hesitation, she thrusted Alyssa and herself through the halls, down the long corridors to the dungeons and propelled the door of Snape’s classroom open, revealing a class full of students preparing for Snape’s lesson. And yet, the professor himself had not yet arrived. In annoyance, Dani propelled Alyssa to Snape’s office, where the door opened just as they reached the threshold. Snape’s eyes flickered from Dani’s to Alyssa’s with mild frustration before opening the door fully to allow them in. Dani let out a rush of air and nudged Alyssa forward before turning away to stand further down the hall in waiting. Embarrassed, Alyssa stepped in, patiently expecting a reprimanding from Snape as he slammed the door. The door did slam, however, the yelling never came. Instead, one hand landed firmly on her waist, the other lifted her chin up to meet his mouth. Soft, warm lips fell on hers, capturing them in a slow rhythm that she could feel in her very core. In utter acceptance, she stood on her toes despite him moving her back against the door, and wound one hand in his messy hair, twisting a strand and tugging gently on it. Her other hand rested at the nape of his neck, too afraid to place it elsewhere for fear of him pushing her away. After the pain eased off and her heart was satisfied, he released her from his embrace, and pressed a swift kiss to her jaw. 

“ Get to class. We’ll discuss this tonight,” he ordered shortly, his eyes impossibly dark. 

She swallowed anxiously and nodded a short tone of agreement, though she was slightly out of breath. When she returned to Dani, she was fully aware of how flushed her cheeks were, but she didn’t quite mind it as she was too far gone on a high. 

She made it successfully through the rest of the day, but her nerves had overcome her as she anticipated his arrival. After finishing her homework for charms, and having already taken a bath, she was thoroughly bored. Dani had insisted that Alyssa face her fears with Snape tonight, so she refused to spend any time with her after the incident that occurred earlier that day. 

She closed her eyes and crawled up in Snape’s chair, her heart longing for his company and desperate to be close to him. Eventually, he walked through the door, eyes alert and curious upon spotting her in his chair. She was nearly asleep when he stood before her. Tiredly, she stirred and her eyes fluttered upwards to see him, watching her quite boredly. 

“ Professor,” She croaked, sitting up to move from his chair. 

She cleared her throat briskly before he shook his head lightly and scooped her up into his arms, catching her off guard and settling her in his lap, reclaiming his spot in the chair before she even realized she’d been moved. She swallowed nervously. His lap was not entirely uncharted territory, but it did make her nervous, particularly when there was a possibility of him being angry with her. 

“ Before you say anything, I just want to apologize. I went to talk with Harry—“

“ I know,” he said quietly, looking deeply into her eyes. 

“ You do?” She asked uncertainly. 

“ You’re mind is defenseless against legillimency. That’s something we should work on truthfully. I’m not angry, I was, but now I’m more concerned. This is moving quite swiftly, and I want to know how you’re...acclimating and accepting all of this.” 

She flushed, unable to keep the small smile off of her face at his regard for her well being. 

“ I—truthfully, I’m comfortable. I feel comfortable with you, and I feel safe. I trust you. How...do you feel about it?” 

She rested her hand on his chest and leaned down against him. He grew quiet and twirled a strand of her hair, thinking about how he really did feel. 

“ At peace,” he said thoughtfully, stroking her hair. 

“ What is it?” He hummed, lifting her chin. 

“ Hm?” She blushed. 

“ What is it you’re thinking of asking me?” He prompted. 

Shyly, she hid her face in his chest, and looked down at her nails. 

“ Could—Could we maybe...never mind,” she shook her head dreadfully, burying her face in his chest. 

“ Use your words,” he chided. 

“ It was silly, and I don’t think you’d—“

“ What is it?” 

“ Could we go to bed. I don’t mean to do anything, I’d just like to—well, I feel closer to you when you aren’t so...covered.” 

She spared a nervous glance into his eyes and he sighed. 

“ I know you’ve never been treated fairly by a man, but I wish you were not so afraid of me. I’ve no desire to hurt you, and everything that I do is only with good intentions. You shouldn’t fear me or my reactions for such an innocent request, dear. Yes, I will comply, if you’d be so kind as to make me some tea,” He soothed. 

She melted into him instinctually, relieved and calmed by his words. She nodded enthusiastically, moving to climb off of him, only to pause, another shade of red ghosting across her skin. She placed a gentle kiss to cheek and scrambled off of him, too anxious to have witnessed his response. She watched quietly from the corner of her eye as he made his way to the bedroom, removing his cloak as he walked and draping it across the back of the armchair. She eyed it carefully, sucking her lip between her teeth as she poured water into the electric kettle. Unable to stop herself, she glided to his cloak and lifted it to her chest, inhaling the masculine, spicy scent of it satisfactorily. The kettle whistled, causing her to drop the cloth. She retrieved two mugs from the cupboard and filled them with the steaming water. She grabbed the two tea bags as she heard the door to the bathroom open, making her realize he was already out. She dunked the bags in their respective cups, and carried them to the bedroom when his deep, velvet voice caressed her. 

“ You can bring my cloak as well,” he said knowingly, and flustered, she draped it over her arm. 

When she entered the room, he’d already pulled the duvet back and started the fireplace up in the corner of the room, casting a warm glow over the room. She smiled fondly at it as she set his cup down by his side of the bed. His hair was damp, clearly towel dried as it was messy, but he’d taken a shower and his scent was more intense. She wanted to wrap herself up in it. His lip quirked up as he seemed to be listening to her thoughts. She huffed, opening her mouth to chastise him, but he lifted her hand and placed a gentle kiss to the back of it. 

“ To bed, love,” he ordered. 

Now frustrated, she walked to her side of the bed and crawled up into the bed, waiting for him to lie down so she could lay on his chest. 

“ My thoughts are not a playground for you,” She grumbled. 

“ No,” he agreed,” I’ve been expecting you to push me out, though you give no fight. It’s as if you’re inviting me.” 

“ I don’t know how to,” she frowned, releasing a breath as she relaxed against him. 

“ I’ll show you sometime soon,” he noted, his chest rumbling beneath her ear. 

He swallowed a bit of his tea whilst twirling her hair. 

“ Do you know what the second task is?” She inquired after a few moments of silence. 

“ No, I do not. That information is privy only to Crouch himself.” 

“ Miss Raynott informed me that you have no plans to attend the ball,” he switched directions. 

She huffed and sat up,” Why was she speaking to you exactly?” 

“ She is my student, and your friend. A friend, who is concerned you will miss out on such a special occasion,” he chided, watching her eyes narrow as she face him. 

“ I’m not missing out on anything. I don’t want to go.” 

“ And why is that?” He retorted dryly. 

“ Because I don’t like to dance,” she shrugged,” and I don’t care to buy a big, expensive gown to go sit for a few hours while everyone around me dances on one another.” 

He lowered his head, thinking to himself. 

“ I won’t allow you to not attend, Miss Hellstrand. You’re going and you’ll enjoy yourself.” 

“ No, I am not. And you cannot make me go. I have no desire to, and it is not a mandatory event. I simply don’t want to go, Professor, can’t you understand that?” She rebutted. 

“ No, I cannot understand that, when I know the only reason you’re not going is because of me,” he stated, his voice ripping an octave as an unrecognizable expression crossed his face. 

“ It’s not because of you,” she lied,” I just don’t—“

“ You’ve decided not to attend because all of your friends will have a date, and you think that you couldn’t go with anyone else,” he corrected knowingly. 

“ I wouldn’t want to go with anyone else. And if I were to go with you, everyone would know and we are trying to avoid that,” she admitted, annoyed with Dani. 

His gaze softened,” And why is that?” 

“ Because I—I...I care about you. And, if I’m to dance with anyone, I’d want it to be you,” she whispered. 

He let out a breath then shook his head,” You’re going to the ball, and there’ll be no qualms about it.” 

And the discussion ended there.


	14. Chapter Fourteen

She stood anxiously on the dock, looking out over the water as she analyzed it, searching for anything that could be of harm to the contestants, particularly Harry, but the water was utterly still. Like a smooth sheet of black glass, it reflected the image of the students crowded around on the tiered dock as the contestants greeted up for their challenge. The announcement of their goal had already been delivered. Each contestant had one object they were to retrieve from the water in an hours time. It was up to them to figure out how to navigate the water, which terrified Alyssa because she’d heard rumors of what lurked beneath the Black Lake, and the truth frightened her. She closed her eyes, took in a deep breath, and glanced to Snape who stood perfectly still, his eyes locked on Harry. When he felt her gaze, he returned it, observing her coolly before glancing back to the boy. And the horn sounded. And her heart stopped. Her breath caught in her throat, as did Harry’s it seemed, as he was the last to jump off the dock. 

After a few moments, Harry emerged from water, flipping like a dolphin before diving back in. Her heart surged with fear. She watched anxiously, gripping Dani’s wrist in terror. Minutes felt like hours, and as time passed, she began to feel dizzy. She worried the bond was confusing her empathy for Harry with her feelings for Snape, so frantically to avoid pain or a scene, for that matter, she made herself focus on Snape. She looked to him, watching his chest move slowly as he breathed. She imagined being back in his arms, resting there in his warmth and inhaling his sweet, musky scent. She began to relax, almost feeling his strong arms wrapped around her. Her breath fell from her throat in a harsh sigh when Harry shot out of the water and onto the dock, the girl, the sister of Fluer, by his side, and Ron Weasley on the other. She hugged Dani in relief, feeling utterly satisfied that he was safe. She turned, not in the mood for the festivities as everyone cheered on the contestants. She was already halfway to the castle when she heard Dumbledore announce the scores of each champion. It’d be a lie to say she wasn’t surprised by Harry’s score, tying for first with Cedric. She arrived to Snape’s chambers alone and in silence. She felt weak after a long week of worrying, and she longed to take a bath. As she ran the hot water, she stripped herself of her clothing and supported herself against the counter. When the water filled to nearly to the top of the bathtub, she submerged herself in the heat, letting out a soft groan as it relaxed her sore muscles. Her body was enveloped by the bubbles and she nearly drifted to sleep, no, she did, but as she began to slip down to her chin in the water, a knock sounded on the door. She surfaced quickly, took a breath and cleared her throat. 

“ Yes?” She returned softly. 

“ I presume you’re all right, you’ve been in there for quite some time.” 

She pulled the drain in the tub with a. Blush settling across her pale cheeks. 

“ I was taking a bath,” she explained vaguely. 

“ Rachel would like to meet you in an hour in Hogsmeade,” he informed her. 

She frowned, and quickly put her clothes on. 

“ Okay, what for?” 

“ She wants to talk to you.” 

She narrowed her eyes in thought,” About the ball, I presume. Is she to persuade me to go?” 

“ No, Miss Hellstrand, you’ll be attending. This is about the bond.” 

She rolled her eyes,” Right.” 

She stepped out a few moments later, eyeing Snape with a rather dismissive expression, following him to his armchair as she adjusted her collar. 

“ I’m not going,” she insisted. 

He quirked a brow at her,” This isn’t a topic that I will debate with you.” 

She huffed,” Why, pray tell, is it so important that I go?” 

He shook his head, seating himself in his armchair before he spoke. He held his hand out to her, which she took begrudgingly, placing herself on his lap automatically. 

“ You are,” he paused, brushing a strand of hair from her face, his voice and expression softening,” a beautiful young woman, and part of being young means that you are permitted to attend such events and enjoy yourself. I can’t allow you to miss the festivities of your youth simply because you’re chained to me.” 

Her heart sunk to her stomach,” I’m not chained to you, Severus. If I didn’t want to be here, I wouldn’t be. If I hadn’t felt a connection to you, I would have never agreed to stay the night my things were brought in. I would have fought it, insisted that I didn’t need you and try to push everything off for as long as possible. Like it or not, I’m quite fond of you. And if I really wanted to attend the ball, I would. The thing is, I don’t want to go to a dance surrounded by hormonal teenagers that all have a date. And, I wouldn’t want to go with anyone but you.” 

He kissed her jaw gently before glancing at the clock hung abnormally low on the wall with hesitance. 

“ We should get you to Hogsmeade, lest Rachel be angry with us both.” 

He guided her from his chambers, his hand resting gently in the small of her back. She didn’t protest, didn’t want to deny him the right to touch her so intimately. His eyes roamed analytically over the corridors, watching and expecting a student or professor to emerge from the darkness that now looked over the castle. He was prepared to drop his hand and to assume his customary scowl, but as he walked his would-be lover across the halls of the castle to grand entrance guarded by the heavy, wooden doors, all that entered his mind was what it might be like to bury himself earnestly in her embrace each night when he returned to bed. His hand was warm against her, even through the material of her cloak and blouse. When they did arrive at the entrance, his hand fell to open the door for her, making her smile appreciatively at him. 

He stopped at the entrance of Hogsmeade, glancing around coldly to look for students. He cleared his throat and sighed, noticing Rachel standing outside the small restaurant with her arms wrapped around herself. 

“ She’s just there,” he nodded curtly, turning to eye her features. 

“ Right, I suppose I’ll be back shortly,” she smiled gently. 

He watched her walk across the small expanse of land and join Rachel. Alyssa has stiffened slightly when she was welcomed into a warm embrace, but after a few moments she seemed to return in reluctantly. They two women entered the shabby establishment, and Rachel picked out a table near the very back in a corner where their conversation would be private. 

“ So,” she breathed, holding her belly as she sat down, “ How have you been?” 

“ I’m good, and you?” Alyssa returned, never one very skilled with pleasantries. 

“ I’m doing well,” she responded, regarding her carefully. 

When the waitress arrived, Rachel ordered a tea and a plate of food from the menu, so Alyssa did the same. 

“ Have the two of you made any progress in any particular areas?” Rachel hummed curiously, a small smile on her face. 

Alyssa flushed at Rachel’s up front question. 

“ Well, we–I,” she sighed,” Not particularly. We’ve kissed.” 

“ That’s a step. You look tired...and worried. What’s bothering you?” 

Alyssa bristled lightly,” I’ve just been so worried about Harry.” 

“ I see,” came the terse response. 

Alyssa noticed the tight expression on her face and rushed an explanation. 

“ Not the way you think. Harry and I have never been close. I can count on one hand the amount of times we’ve actually talked. I just believe him when he say he didn’t willing enter the tournament. I’d be terrified even at my age, I can’t imagine how he must feel.” 

“ I understand,” Rachel laughed lightly, thanking the waitress as she delivered their teas. 

“ Is there nothing else bothering you?” She commented knowingly. 

Alyssa nibbled on her lip and shifted anxiously in her seat. 

“ I’ve talked about many things with you, I think. And I’ve talked about some of those things with him. I guess...I’m still nervous. I’m still fearful of some aspects of what’s to come. And I can’t exactly explain why. I have no reason to be and it’s stupid, but I just feel utterly unprepared and like I have no idea what to expect, even still.” 

“ You are worried because you don’t know to expect physically, or, for lack of a better word, visually?” Rachel offered gently. 

Her cheeks flamed,” I think so.” 

“ You’ve never seen,” she said slowly, waiting for Alyssa to understand. 

“ No, no, definitely not,” she scoffed lightly. 

“ That can be an intimidating subject. You want to understand so you can prepare, but you don’t want to come across as forward and lead the two of you into something you aren't ready for.” 

“ Yes,” Alyssa exclaimed eagerly,” exactly.”

“ Thank you,” she murdered as the woman placed the food in front of them. 

“ I could, if you’d like, mention it to John. He could tell him in an inconspicuous way.” 

“ That would be lovely, but,” she paused,” How exactly would it be inconspicuous? Do they talk regularly?” 

“ Oh, darling, yes. He’s been discussing things with John at length over letters. I think he’s just as worried as you,” she smoothed. 

“ Really? About what?” She frowned. 

Rachel mimicked her expression and sighed,” You’ve been through a lot, more than most people. You’re strong, I don’t doubt that, but emotions and intimacy can be trying even for people without such horrid pasts. I think he’s just worried that he’ll overstep or not meet expectations. I’m not entirely sure how much you know, but John and I have known him for a while, and he’s discreet, he’s barely openly talked about it, but he, like you, didn’t have a happy childhood. From what I’ve gathered, neither of his parents ever cared much for him, sometimes he suffered abuse and went without a lot. School wasn’t much different for him...

The day we met, he and John discussed it a bit then. He wants to be better than his parents, for you, for any future children you might have. He wants to be someone you can trust, someone who cares about you and supports you. He phrased it along the lines of, someone who gives a damn, and would provide a safe environment. Interpret it how you will. I think he just doesn’t want to come across too fervent and careless. He wants you to feel safe and at home with him before he does anything that may conflict with that, whether that be startling you or forcing you into a predicament because of pain. So, he’s been asking for advice, talking through his actions with John to make sure he’s still within his own boundary.” 

After a long moment, Alyssa shook her head lightly, pushing her plate away after eating only half of it,” He cares. That means a lot, all things considered. I do feel safe with him. I trust him. But, I need him to trust me and I think that might take time. I just don’t know how to approach it without it being tremendously awkward.” 

“ It will be initially. Let me talk to John, well discus it and I’ll get back to you. In other news, how have you been feeling? Has the pain been manageable?” 

She nodded in a daze,” Yes, it’s been fine. I should be asking you that? When are you due?” 

Rachel grinned and rubbed her belly,” February. John is aiming for Valentines Day but I’d hate for her to be stuck with that stigma.” 

“ That’s so exciting,” she grinned joyously. 

“ It is, and, if I remember correctly, you’ve got a birthday coming up soon,” Rachel winked. 

“ Yes, I do,” she smiled,” November 30th.” 

“ Also, change of subject again, you’ll have to forgive the mind of a pregnant woman, I’m sleep deprived. What’s this about you not attending the ball?” 

Alyssa rolled her eyes, sipping idly on her tea.

“ He’s insistent that I attend, but I’d rather not without him. I find no joy in dancing and everyone will have a date. Either I have one and be miserable all night and dance, or not have one and sit alone for evening in a corner watching everyone else have fun. The solution seems clear to me, and that is to not go.” 

“ What if you went with him? What if, by that point, people already know?” 

She bit her lip,” I’d love to. Though, I’m not entirely sure he’d be up for it. I don’t think we want to disclose that so early though if we can help it.” 

“ I understand. Well, think on it. In the meantime, I’ll talk to John. “ 

The left the appropriate amount of galleons on the table before leaving. Rachel parted ways with her at the entrance, engulfing her in a hug. 

“ Are you sure you don’t want me to walk with you—“ Rachel began.

“ I’m positive, thank you though. I expect he will be waiting up for me inside. It’s not a far walk after all. “ 

“ Take care then, dear.” 

“ You too, Rachel,” Alyssa chimed, saving goodbye as she trekked up the hill which was admittedly steeper than she’d remembered. 

She couldn’t help but think of Snape, his politeness, his insistence to do what was best for her, to keep her happy, fed and sated. Her steps grew swifter the close she got, the desire for him growing at the same rate of her increasing speed. She pushed the door to his chambers open, and her eyes landed on him with a sigh of relief. She crossed the expanse of the sitting room, not bothering to remove her cloak dusted with the night’s dew before placing herself unceremoniously on his lip. His eyes widened slightly at her sudden, eager display. Her hips rested neatly against against his own, her knee on either side of him. It was as if she didn’t care that she was wearing a skirt. The idea of her bare skin resting on his covered thighs never entered her mind, and even less so when she pressed her lips against his. He hesitated at the fervor in her approach, but he made no move to stop her. He returned her eager kiss, sliding his hands beneath her cloak to grip her waist firmly in his hands. She panted against his lips, seemingly very fond of his control over her as he deepened the kiss, swirling his tongue around her own. A soft moan fell from her lips when his hand threaded through her hair and held her steady as he mastered her mouth, only pulling away from the unfortunate necessity to breath. He leaned away from her, taking in the sight reproachfully. He was unsure of her, uncertain of her actions or the motivation behind them. She was a puzzle to him, and his confusion showed in the slight creases in his forehead. She longed to smooth them with gentle kisses, but at the moment she wasn’t ready to break free from his hand still cradling her neck. He appeared to be tense, but less so now that she was so willingly tangled up in his arms, trusting and, oh, so naive. He felt like a predator with her, preying on her child-like innocence, because it was, after-all, child-like. Soon she would be eighteen though, and he tried to think of it more like that. She was practically an adult, but still so young, so fresh and sweet. She still tasted of her tea, no doubt drowned in honey and cream. She had a taste for things that way, sickeningly sweet and warm. He could never be like that. No, he craved the bitter and the sour, an accurate reflection of his life. Though, despite that, he had thoroughly enjoyed some of the sweets she brought him, particularly those blood lollies, though he’d never let her actually see that he did. 

“ I take it your dinner went well,” he said finally, his minty breath fanning across her chin and neck. 

She shivered and nodded, wrapping her arms around his neck and pulling herself closer to him. 

“ I missed you,” she said gently, as if she were afraid the warm compliment would bite him and he’d turn from her, filled with anger. 

Perhaps that ounce of fear was reminiscent of how her parents had treated her. No doubt her father recoiled from her at any drop of affection she could muster for the monster, and her mother, might have only reciprocated in the absence of her father. He felt his stomach tighten, from a mixture of deep sorrow for the life she’d known, and for the life he’d known. No one had ever missed Severus Snape. No one ever cared for him. People wanted him gone, people taunted and leered at him. He’d never felt wanted or cared for. But, now, this darling little Slytherin sat upon his lap and shyly announced her yearning for him after only being gone for an hour, give or take, and it warmed his cold heart. This beautiful, innocent girl sat atop his lap, burying her hands in the hair at the nape of his neck, and she managed him all the kindness and warmth within her magnificent heart. He wants to afford her the same, to give her all that he had done without, all that he had never had. He wants her to feel safe, loved, cherished, desired. He wanted her to know immense pleasure and happiness and all the joy in the world. He wanted to give her everything, anything she wanted. Unable to stop himself, despite knowing how ghastly inappropriate their actions were, he kissed her forehead and pulled her against his chest, untying the ribbon at the top of her cloak in a very relaxed manner, enjoying the weight of her small body atop him. 

“ And I, you. Your hands are cold,” he assured, brushing a strand of hair from her forehead. 

Self-consciously she pulled them from around his neck, but he caught them gently in his grasp and held them against his chest, helping her warm them. 

She sighed as she shifted, her cloak slipping from around her and to the floor, as she buried herself closer to him. He twisted a strand of her hair, looking into her tired eyes. 

“ You are truly beautiful, a right marvel,” he said after a few moments. 

The words had left his mouth before he’d had the chance to stop him, and his eyes squinted, his lips parting to pardon himself from speaking so forwardly to her, but then, her eyes opened and she looked up at him. Her gaze was filled with such appreciation and raw attentiveness that he couldn’t bring himself to speak. Her bright eyes now looked dark within the dim, fire-lit lighting of the room. They swirled with different emotions, but the tantalizing royal blue flickered at him, the licking of the flames dancing in the reflection of her glassy eyes. 

“ You flatter me,” she whispered tenderly, glancing down at the way his hand wrapped around both of hers, and she felt warm again,” I’m lucky to have you, Severus. You treat me with such respect. It’s a nice change from what I’m accustomed to.” 

She breathed lightly, the warmth turned cool when it brushed his skin, but he didn’t mind it. Her head rested just above their hands, and her eyes shut, unwilling to move from him. His hand rested still on her hip, unmoving and heavy, but she didn’t want it gone. It filled her with peace, being so close to him and feeling his strong arms cradle her. 

“ You deserve nothing less,” he whispered into her hair, for she was already sound asleep, her breath falling in time to his, slow and steady. 

He closed his eyes, knowing full well the proper thing o do would be to carry her to bed and finish his work without disrupting her, but, and she nuzzled closer against him, he didn’t have the heart to move her. He didn’t want her warmth to leave him. So, instead, he picked up his quill and leaned over slightly, the side table supporting the weight of his arm as he finished marking the tests. It was another hour before he finished, and, it was well past her bedtime, not that she had one in place, though he did think she should. Sleep was important, and though he deprived himself of it, he didn’t think it fitting for her to lose any. He moved carefully, his hand dragging gently down her side, and over her hip to wrap his arm beneath the tops of her thighs. This position was, admittedly, much more intimate than bridal-style. He inhaled sharply as her inner thigh brushed against the line of his trousers, and he felt immensely guilty. Had she been awake, he would have hid his face in shame, offering her a brief apology for overstepping a boundary line. Finally, he was on his feet, his arm looped just beneath her bottom to hold her steady. She wasn’t heavy by any means, but the weight of her, the shape of her body against his, how perfectly it felt to him—that was foreign, and yet it felt so familiar. He carried her to the bed, pausing and steadying his breathing when she grumbled softly in her sleep. He glanced down, seeing that her eyes were still closed and he continued onto the bed, flicking his wand swiftly to pull the sheet and duvet back. Though Snape often felt cold to the touch, he typically felt warm, and often, he didn’t sleep with much covering. He afforded her the courtesy of keeping the duvet up at night, but the night she slept against him, she’d kicked it off in her sleep. Perhaps he’d kept her warm and she didn’t want it. He set her down, gently, gently, and she shifted, her bottom lip curling as she felt the absence of the heat his body offered her. He finally settled her against the mattress, and she reached out across the sheets, feeling for him, for his hand, anything to assure her he was there. He grasped her hand softly, stroking the back of her hand lightly with his thumb and she succumbed to the heaviness of sleep. He breathed a sigh and moved away from her, glancing back cautiously as he opened the drawer to retrieve some more appropriate sleep pants. He released the top two buttons of his black suit and then the top twig of his white dress shirt. He exhaled a slow breath and moved to the bathroom, unbuttoning the rest as he went. He caught his reflection in the mirror, shutting the door quietly as he flicked on the light. He was grossly pale, he thought, and his skin, while soft, was not attractive or comforting. His hair held less grease today, having not been hovering above Potions much. He ran a hand through it, wondering what about it intrigued the angel lying a mere few feet from in his bed. She seemed to enjoy toying it, wrapping it around her fingers, tugging gently, or sliding her nails enticingly across his scalp. He felt himself grow half-hard at the memory of that last bit. He enjoyed her attentions, the soft ministrations always hesitant, but endearing nonetheless. He swallowed and turned the shower on, letting the water heat up. He examined his bare chest, disgusted by the scars, the long, thin lash marks that had caused his skin to raise. At first glance, it’s wasn’t all that noticeable, the marks were skin-colored mostly obscured and blended between the subtle outline of his muscles, but they were there nonetheless, and he hated them. He hated himself for having them. The small beauty in his bed deserved a man without flaws, without such a violent and despicable past. She deserved better. He unbuttoned his pants, bending to release the knots from the laces of his shoes before kicking them off and discarding them against the wall. His socks came next, and he dropped them to the ground carelessly. He bit his tongue in disgust with himself as he drew the zipper down, his hardening member slowly expanding into the now open space. He shoved his pants down his ankles and with them, his undergarments. He stepped in the shower, hissing as the hot water pelted his skin. He stared down at the dark mark etched into the canvas of his arm and grimaced. How could she ever feel safe with a man like him, with a man who shared the same mark as her abusive father and uncaring mother. He washed his hair roughly, and annoyed, he switched the water to cold, not allowing him any sort of release when he didn’t deserve it, not when the source of it was from such an innocent, obedient young woman. He’d taken it, not asked for it. He dried off with the black towel from the rack and brushed his teeth harshly. After swishing with mouthwash, he slipped into his bed clothes and flicked off the light before opening the door, his eyes softening upon falling on the sight of that angelic creature. She stirred softly, her brows furrowed in restless sleep. Slowly her eyes opened when he blew out the candle burning by the bed. 

“ I thought you left,” she murmured, drawing up against him as he laid down. 

He hadn’t expected that, but it certainly pleased him, warmed his chest. 

“ I needed a shower,” he excused softly, feeling her hand rest over his heart, her head just above it. 

“ I was worried you weren’t coming back,” she reprimanded, her voice sleepy, and her words slurring softly as she settled against him. 

His eyes shut and he wrapped his arms around her, tightening her body against him. 

“ I’ll always come back,” he assured, pressing a gentle kiss to her hair. 

“ Promise?” She whispered, returning a kiss to his chest. 

He stiffened despite loving her display of affection,” You have my word.”


	15. Chapter Fifteen

At breakfast that morning, Alyssa was rather regretting ever get out of bed. It was announced that all Hogwarts students were to report to the Great Hall with their respective houses for dance lessons, regardless of whether or not you were attending the ball. That had placed her in a bad mood for the duration of the day, as all she wanted to do was return to Snape’s chambers and lie in his arms while watching him read, but it seems she’d have to wait. Defense Against the Dark Arts had dragged by much slower that she would’ve liked, with Professor Moody rambling on and on about the different curses once more. If she didn’t know any better, she’d say he was obsessed with them. Yes, they were interesting, but she’d felt the pain delivered by the Cruciatus Curse, and she no longer felt quite so intrigued by them. Dark arts in general did stir some interest, but the only reason she ever wanted to reach the class was so she could emphasize the importance of not using such horrid spells, a lesson all but Professor Lupin seemed to ignore. 

Dani was nearly jumping for joy as they walked the halls to the lake, deciding to catch some fresh air before dance lessons. She rocked back and forth on her feet with each step, growing more and more excited the closer the time got. 

“ Danielle,” Alyssa finally snapped,” Why are you so beside yourself? You already know how to dance.” 

“ Because, Alyssa,” Dani returned, her eyes full of splendor,” I get to dance with Tomas.” 

“ You will dance with him at the ball as well,” she muttered, but Dani was undeterred by her friend’s sour mood. 

“ Oh, I wish you were going Alyssa. It’s going to be such a beautiful night! They’re going to have all the decorations up for Christmas and the Weird Sisters will be performing and—“

“ And I’d be sitting alone in a corner watching everyone else have fun,” Alyssa chided, reminded Dani of why she wasn’t attending. 

“ No, you wouldn’t! You’d have a date and—oh,” Dani breathed, looking down at her feet. 

“ Yes,” Alyssa agreed,” Oh.” 

“ But, what if you went with one of Tomas’ friends? Stefan, while a bit forward, is actually nice and from what I’ve heard, he’s respectable. He’s very attractive too, don’t you think?” 

“ Danielle, what does that have to do with anything?” Alyssa warned calmly. 

“ Well, I just mean it would make for nice pictures! Alyssa, honestly, you should go. I’ve even discussed this with—“

“ I know, Danielle, he told me you did. And, I know you’re trying to be helpful, but—“

“ Stay our of your relationship,” she said knowingly, sighing as she plopped down by the water, twirling her fingers in its frigidness. 

“ I was only going to say that I know you’re trying to be helpful, but I don’t want to go, not if I can’t go with him,” Alyssa argued pointedly. 

“ Then go with him,” Dani said after a few moments of silence, drawing her lip between her teeth. 

Alyssa scoffed lightly,” If it were that easy—“

“ It would be if people knew, if you announced it before they have to find out by the two of you fondling each other—“

“ Danielle, it’s not like I’m a fifth year dating a seventh year. It won’t be so easy to explain. People won’t understand, they’ll be confused. They’ll think poorly of the both of us, but especially him. Let alone what his peers might say, how other schools might view him or Hogwarts as a whole because of it. I’m still,” she sighed, lowering her voice,” I’m still seventeen. He’s thirty-four—thirty five in January.” 

Dani offered her friend and apologetic smile,” I know. I’m being selfish. I want you to go to the ball so I can spend one of the best nights of my career at Hogwarts with my best friend. You know, it won’t be long until we part ways. We’ve grown up. We’ll enter the real world, settle down, have a few kids. Then we’ll just be friends, never making time for one another and spending all of our free time hampering about the house, cleaning and cooking.” 

Alyssa frowned at the imagery. She wasn’t ready to have kids, not in the slightest, but she didn’t dare paint over Dani’s daydream. 

“ Things are going to change. But you and I, we won’t drift apart. We have a bond of our own,” Alyssa smiled kindly. 

“ Yes, well, I may not have time for you,” Dani faked haughtily, dramatically fluffing her hair. 

“ Oh, don’t I know it. You’ll be too busy perusing Paris with Tomas and his family, no doubt hosting the Queen for high tea.” 

“ Oh, darling, the Queen is—Bloody Hell, we are going to be late,” Dani rushed, having spotted the time on her watch. 

She yanked Alyssa up by her arm and sling her bag over her shoulder before darting back to the castle, dragging Alyssa along with her. Thankfully, she hadn’t decided to work on her homework while they were down there, otherwise, Dani would have forced her to leave it. They entered the Great Hall just in time. None of the staff was there yet aside from Filch, who was setting up the massive phonograph, placing the record on and adjusting the speed. Alyssa sighed impatiently and seemed herself on the small set of wooden bleachers. She pulled her books from her bag, intending on doing some homework. Dani nudged her when Snape glided in, though she could already sense his presence. Not wanting anything to look obvious, she didn’t look up, and instead indulged Dani with a brisk glare. She frowned and crossed her legs, bumping her shoulder casually into Tomas. He smirked and returned the action, watching the Potions Master and Head of House move before them, his face drained of emotion as he eyed the rambunctious, hormonal teenagers. His eyes fell on Alyssa who was studiously working on a paper, one he identified as the essay for his class, noticing the Potions book resting beside her. Her brows scrunched as she examined the recipe in the book before scratching something out and correcting the amount. He had to stop himself from smirking lightly at the little critiquing habit she’d picked up from him. His eyes hadn’t landed on her long, not wanting the students to get curious, he straightened his posture and brushed his cloak behind him, unwilling to fiddle with it much longer. A wave of silence fell over the students upon noticing the Slytherin Head, affording him the respect he very well deserved. 

“ The Yule Ball is approaching, and being that Hogwarts is the host for this year’s Tri-Wizard Tournament, you are required to learn the dance. Hogwarts students will participate in it, and you will master it. The Headmaster wants no mistakes, for you will be watched by the visiting schools...”he spoke lowly, his voice sending shivers down Alyssa’s spine, for she knew he never used that tone with her, at least not in private. 

She jotted down another sentence, not noticing Snape’s eyes flicker to her. Had she been anyone else, he would have been outraged by her blatant disregard for him. He wouldn’t stand for it, and he couldn’t show favoritism. 

“ You should be paying careful attention. Should you lot of dunderheads make a mistake, I’ll see to it myself that you are dealt with accordingly. I’ll not have you tarnishing the reputation of the school or myself for your own stupidity—Miss Hellstrand, since I am boring you so deeply, I can only assume you’re already very informed on the matter. Here, now,” he snapped, his eyes growing dark as she looked up, bewildered. 

Her cheeks bloomed red and she opened her mouth, shyly resting her quill down on her lap,” I—no, Professor, I apologize for—“

“ It wasn’t a question, Miss Hellstrand, and should I need to repeat myself, you can find yourself in detention for the remainder of the week,” he quipped dryly, his tone dropping with bitterness. 

She bit her tongue to keep from snapping back at him, and she turned, placing her belongings where she once sat, sparing Dani an annoyed glance. Dani smiled weakly in response while Tomas simply mouthed ‘good luck.’ She stepped down the bleachers, adjusting her skirt nervously as she felt the eyes of the students on her. She stepped off of the raised platform and onto the ground steadily, narrowing her eyes inconspicuously at Professor Snape, but he didn’t look at her. She startled slightly when the music started and glanced harshly at Filch who shrugged, clearly not caring that he had started it too soon. 

“ What will you have me do, Professor?” She asked, clenching her jaw in the most unnoticeable fashion, her tone short but filled with sarcasm. 

A few giggles echoed into the room but quickly fell silent when Snape to a threatening step towards her, and despite the fact that she knew he would never hurt her, she still faltered in her footing, swallowing anxiously as she stood close enough to feel his breath against her skin. It smelled of mint, as it always did, and his scent wafted through her nose. She breathed it in slowly, as if suddenly remembering his impressive height and broad stature. 

“ What is the tempo of a waltz, Miss Hellstrand?” 

“ It’s a three-fourths time,” she responded breathily, lightly, fearfully, acting for the sake of the audience. 

He nodded curtly, offering her a stern hand out to his side. Hesitantly, she took it, her face heating up even more. She lifted her arm to his shoulder, inwardly wondering how strange they must look, with him a head and a half taller, towering over her dominantly as she tried to calm herself, to calm her breathing. His hand rested on her waist, it was respectable, no higher or lower that what could be deemed appropriate. His eyes glared into hers, stern and unwavering. He took a step towards her, and having been prepared for it, she followed his lead, stepping back to the rhythm of the music. 

“ Count, Miss Hellstrand,” he ordered lowly, his voice nearly a growl. 

She stiffened, feeling his grip tighten ever so slightly on her waist. It was cold this time, surprising her as he often felt so warm. 

“ One, two, three. One, two, three,” she stared, just loud enough for the students to hear her as he glided her back and forth, not once stepping on her foot or moving too suddenly for her to keep in step. 

She heard one of the boys whistle, and another howled between laughter, and she bit her lip, angered that they would be so disrespectful. 

“ Detention, Mr. Malfoy and Mr. Goyle,” Snape responded curtly, not looking away from his partner–his dance partner, he reminded himself. 

She continued counting, following his motions blindly. She knew how to dance, though she hadn’t done for many years. Snape was, surprisingly, very skilled at it, never leading her astray. After another few seconds, he released her waist and spun her, dropping her head as soon as she was steady on her feet again a few steps away from him. 

“ Find a partner,” he ordered briskly, glancing back to Alyssa with that dark gaze. 

A small, discreet smile drew across her face and she flushed, returning to her seat on the stage. 

 

He came in later that night, having had to deal with delinquents in detention. Dani had offered to be there for emotional support, but in some twisted way, she knew Snape had done what he did to protect her. Had he danced with someone else, demonstrated, with someone else, it might have upset the bond. The same would have applied for her. Of course, he couldn’t show favoritism, and she had, after all, not been paying any attention. When he opened the door, she looked up from her comfortable spot in his chair, lying with her legs draped across the armrest and his cloak resting over her as a blanket. His eyes narrowed quizzically at her but he approached her nonetheless. 

“ You know,” she began teasingly,” If you had wanted to dance with me, all you had to do was ask.” 

He lifted her from the chair with a sigh, depleting her body back down only after he reclaimed his chair. He almost offered an explanation, but when he saw the glint of humor in her eyes he just let his lip curl up in response. She shifted slightly, moving so that her head rested on his chest rather than his upper arm. Neither one of them spoke for several minutes, enjoying the warmth of the fire and each other’s company. Snape had begun to finger through her waves, watching her silently as her eyes fluttered shut, not wanting him to stop the ministrations. His hands were warm again, his fingers soft and agile. She wondered mutely if his hands were only cold in front of people or if it had just been colder in his office that day. Her hand moved to rest just below his neck, at the top of his chest right where the buttons started. She thumbed it carefully, shifting it back and forth against him. 

“ How was your day?” She asked sleepily, his movements so slow and languid that she was struggling to maintain her attention. 

“ Hm,” he hummed, his chest vibrating against her. 

“ It was uneventful until I danced with you,” he paused, his tone softening,” It wasn’t the Yule Ball, but it was the best I could do given the circumstances. I’d still like for you to attend.” 

His voice was a whisper in her hair, and she shivered, pushing herself up to support herself on his chest, where he could see her better. She placed a gentle kiss to his jaw and smiled lightly. 

“ Thank you.” 

He lifted her chin gently and placed a kiss to her lips. It was soft, tender, and warm, much like their first kiss. His lips wrapped protectively around her bottom one, teething it gently before deepening his approach, slipping his tongue between her lips cautiously. A soft moan escaped her throat, encouraging him onward and he cupped her cheek, holding her there against him, hostage to his desires. His other hand travelled languidly down her throat, over her shoulder, down her arm, and to her hip where it rested, gently kneading her skin. She wrapped her arms around his neck, tugging gently at his long hair, prompting him to growl lowly into her mouth. She smiled, breaking away to giggle lightly into his chest. He chuckled in her hair, filling her with joy as she looked up to see his expression. A genuine smile was drawn across his lips. It looked foreign on him, well, it looked like it felt foreign to him. She grinned excitedly at him, admiring his pretty teeth. His lips fell to a purse when his eyes found hers again, scanning over her face curiously. 

“ I like that—you laughing, it’s, it’s nice,” she stumbled shyly, running her fingers through his hair. 

He kissed her hairline and plucked one of the hands from his hair to hold against his chest. He closed his eyes and rested his head against the back of the chair. 

“ You’re curious, Miss Hellstrand,” he breathed, feeling her twirl his soft hair, her other hand fiddling idly with the button of his black dress top. 

She laid her head on his chest, sighing softly in contentment. 

“ What did you and Rachel discuss?” He asked, glancing back down at her as she tentatively undid the top button of his shirt. 

He didn’t stop her, nor did he want to. He longed to feel her soft, alabaster skin smooth and glide against his in the fit of passion. 

“ You and I,” she answered truthfully,” And the ball.” 

He hummed in response,” What about the ball?” 

She liked how he didn’t hum, but instead his chest grumbled softly, as though he were breathing through his thought process. 

She sighed,” She said I should go...with you.” 

Snape stiffened, and feeling him grow worried she shook her head lightly. 

“ In saying that, I don’t necessarily condone it. It’s just what she suggested,” she said quickly, trying to gage his reaction. 

“ Is that what you want?” He breathed. 

She opened her mouth and then bit her lip, trying to think things through,” I know that it will come out eventually, but I don’t know if I’m prepared for it, truthfully. How do you feel about it?” 

“ It will certainly change things, but I’m willing to announce it if it’s what you’d like.” 

She sighed and closed her eyes,” I think we should talk to Dumbledore about it.” 

He nodded, fully agreeing with her.


	16. Chapter Sixteen

She slept soundly through the night, only waking when Snape gently moved her off of him to get dressed. She had sighed and rolled over, her shirt coming up to reveal a sliver of pale skin. Snape covered her back up with the duvet, protecting her modesty. She had worn shorts, but he still didn’t want her to wake and be angry with him. It wasn’t until he was sitting at breakfast that he realized she was still anxious about intimacy. He had received a letter from John, written neatly and in his typical eloquent writing style.

 _Dear Severus_ , it read, _I hope you are still doing well and that things are going smoothly. Rachel has mentioned that a certain someone is still nervous about a particular activity. Might I suggest offering a small gesture of what is to come. I think the biggest concern might be the physical aspect, specifically, visual. I’m not suggesting to speed anything up or place anyone in an uncomfortable position, but perhaps ease her concerns. Sincerely, John._

He stiffened, his posture going straight and firm as he watched her from the Head Table. She peaked up at him from her plate, revealing a small platter of fruit and pancakes. Instantly, her cheeks heated, and she returned her gaze to her friends. He pursued his lips, tightening his gaze before taking another bite of food.

The day seemed to drag by for them both, Snape’s mind swirling with the thoughts of what he might do to remedy the issue, whereas Alyssa couldn’t focus in classes because she was feeling nauseated. At lunch, she kept looking up to Snape, wanting him to see her and realize she needed him. But when lunch was adjourned, and she began the walk to Charms, she noticed the twins were following her and Dani.

“ What do you want?” She snapped abruptly, suddenly very annoyed with them.

“ Nothing, Hellstrand, we simply wanted to be here to witness—this,” George laughed, seeing Snape approach her, his eyes dark and clouded with lust.

Alyssa turned, seeing Severus walking towards her. Fred swallowed nervously, seeing the Professor not slowing down in his motions, while Alyssa’s eyes widened, wondering what in Merlin’s name he thought he was doing. He grabbed her upper arm, quite roughly, and vaguely she could hear the twins laughter come to an abrupt halt when she was pushed against the wall. Snape’s lips fell unceremoniously on hers, dominating and possessing them as one of his hands moved to pin her wrists above her head. She gasped, feeling his hips pin her further, restricting her every movement. She whimpered when his teeth latched onto her lip, biting and sucking before moving to her neck. She panted when he released her lips, eyes wide and almost frightened as she tried to wrap her mind around what was happening.

“ What are you do—ah,” she hissed, feeling his teeth tug on the sensitive skin of her neck.

He quickly soothed his numerous bites with his lips and tongue, kissing and licking her exposed skin. She glanced at the twins, recognition dawning in her eyes as they looked on in horror.

“ We thought—it was just a love potion,” George explained.

“ We took the scent and taste away by exchanging a few ingredients. I didn’t think it would—“ Fred uttered frantically.

“ Change behavior patterns,” Dani cut in harshly.

“ Professor,” Alyssa whimpered, feeling him suck roughly just below her ear,” Professor Snape.”

She gasped when he used a wordless spell to keep her in place, moving his hands to undo her tie. She flushed, feeling the material skim down her side as it hit the ground. She couldn’t hide the groan that fell from her lips when he unbuttoned her shirt and sucked on her collarbone. He stripped her of her cloak and vest, exposing the rest of the buttons of her shirt. He tugged her head back with his hand in her hair, giving him more access to her throat. He wrapped his hand around her hip, squeezing tightly, no doubt leaving a bruise there. Dumbledore pushed through the students, emerging from the crowd with widened eyes.

“ It’s a love potion, Headmaster,” Dani said urgently.

And he let out a breath,” Go fetch the vial from Professor Snape’s stores. I expect it to be blue in color in a red vial.”

She agreed, running through the corridor to reach it.

“ I’m afraid a counteractive potion is the only way to stop this. Physical interference will only result in a more violent, primal manner, and I don’t think we should endanger Miss Hellstrand further. Get to class, I’m not sure how much further this will go. Fred and George, you may find your way to my office,” Dumbledore stayed firmly.

Immediately, the students dispersed, though many let their eyes linger for longer than necessary. Alyssa moaned when Snape slid his hand beneath her shirt and squeezed her breast hard enough to hurt. She whimpered at the feeling of his cold hands against her skin, and he raked his nails down the side of her bosom, igniting her skin and making her breathing more laborious. He undid a few more buttons of her shirt, making it easier to kiss his way down to her breasts. He sucked tantalizingly slowly on the tops of her cleavage. His fingers ran down her hip, past her thighs to her knee, where he slid his hand gently beneath her skirt.

“ Stop, please,” she begged, feeling his hand reach her mid-thigh.

She let out a soft breath when Dumbledore pressed the vial to Snape’s lips before they could return to her skin, and as the liquid was poured down his throat, the hand that was caressing the band of her underwear dropped suddenly, and he closed his eyes, regaining himself. She was panting, regaining her breath as Snape seemed to take control of himself again. When his eyes opened, they met hers, worry and fear crossing his features. He analyzed her body slowly, seeing her open shirt and discarded garments on the ground. He immediately buttoned her shirt back, releasing her from the spell simultaneously and stepping back. Guilt was evident in his eyes and he looked down in shame, knowing she’d never want him near her again, not after that violent display. Dani stood behind Dumbledore, watching with a small frown, deeply concerned.

“ Perhaps you two should step back from classes today,” Dumbledore said quietly,” And sort this out amongst yourself.”

Snape closed his eyes, anger blossoming in his chest, mostly for the twins, but a special section of it was reserved for himself. He moved swiftly, picking up Alyssa’s discarded clothes and offering them to her silently. She took them after a few seconds, trying to regain the feeling in her now numb arms. She glanced sideways at Dani, a reassuring smile, promising her she was okay. She followed behind Snape as he took off down the corridors, moving quickly and noiselessly. Dumbledore took off towards his office, intending on dealing with the twins, only after telling Danielle she could skip class for the rest of the day.

When they reached Snape’s chambers, he was shaking with anger, wanting nothing more than to break something. He shook his head, unable to face Alyssa and fled the room. She sighed, and sunk into his chair, dropping her discarded clothing on the floor to take up beneath his cloak instead. She wasn't sure when he’d come back, if it all, and that scared her. She wasn’t angry with him, he couldn’t control what had happened. He was just as defenseless as she was. She closed her eyes and drifted to sleep. It wasn’t until much later that she heard the door open. The castle elves had already brought two trays of food, and she placed a charm on Snape’s so that it would stay warm. She had eaten alone, doing nothing more than watch the flames flicker in the hearth. She’d finished only a few minutes before he’d returned, his eyes cast downward as she shut the door.

“ You’re back,” she whispered, but he didn’t catch it, instead glancing up, almost surprised to see her wrapped in his cloak and occupying his chair, even after what he’d done.

He’d half expected her to have packed her things and left. He swallowed, glancing around his sitting room cautiously. He stepped towards her, expecting her to flinch or shift away, but she didn’t. He moved in front of her, and knelt in front of the chair, feeling immeasurable guilt.

“ There’s food in the kitchen. I wasn’t sure when you’d come back so I charmed it to keep it warm<“ she offered. 

“ Are you in pain?” He asked softly, his voice hoarse and worried as he ignored her comment about food. 

“No, I’m fine,” she assured him, placing her hand on his cheek.

He closed his eyes, leaning into her touch.

“ Are you okay? I was worried you wouldn’t come back,” She said truthfully, lifting his chin so he’d look at her.

His eyes snapped up in wonder,” Why would you even concern yourself with that—I–I am the one who— I thought you would have left and—“

“ You didn’t mean to, and you had no idea what you were doing. If you’d had control, I might have been a little more upset. I trust you, remember? I know you would never intentionally hurt me, not when all you’ve done is been so kind and gentle and patient with me.”

His shoulders relaxed after a few moments, his eyes dark and longing.

“ May I see? The damage I’ve done,” he inquired softly.

She swallowed nervously,” I haven’t looked.”

He drew in a breath, revealing a brown paper bag from beneath his cloak.

“ I purchased a few things,” he said gently, handing the bag to her.

She lifted it, surprised by its weight. She opened the crisp package and saw several items, some in glass bottles. She pulled out one which was a small, dark brown jar, and after reading the label, she identified it as a healing salve. She smiled weakly at that, and moved on to the deep green bottle. It was tall and cylindrical and claimed to be a bottle of bubble bath. She let out a short laugh, popping the corkscrew and inhaling the scent. It had a hint of citrus, but it was mixed with sandalwood and had a very clean scent. She was quite fond of the musky smell. The thing she removed next was a box of chocolate truffles, and by the looks of it, a very expensive brand. Finally, she retrieved the tallest bottle. It was dark red with eloquent, cursive lettering in silver on a creme colored label. It was massage oil. She bit her tongue, eyeing it carefully before glancing down at him, seeing his hesitant expression.

“ This morning I received a letter from John. I had plans to buy these things and create a nice evening for you, to offer you a chance to become more comfortable with—well, with us, the physicality of it all. I’d still like to, but I understand if you’d be unwilling to—to come near me unless absolutely necessary for a long while.”

She leaned forward and wrapped her arms around his neck, and she felt him relax and release a breath of relief, wrapping his own arms around her small waist.

“ You’re not angry with me?” He whispered into her hair.

“ How could I be?” She returned softly, kissing his cheek.

She pulled back slowly and looked into his eyes hesitantly, “ I’d love to enjoy this evening with you.”

He closed his eyes and kissed her forehead. He lifted her up easily, guiding her legs around his waist to carry her. She allowed him to carry her to the bathroom, and she was suddenly very grateful that she kept herself groomed. She rested her head in the nook of his neck, her breath fanning shortly across the side of his face. He set her down on the counter, kissing her gently on her lips. They were sore from earlier that day, and she was thankful he was so careful with her. He turned the hot water on and stoppered the tub before pouring an adequate amount of the bubble bath mixture into the stream, watching it foam almost instantly. He mixed in a drop or two of the body oil, and used his wand to light a few of the candles in the room, creating a very romantic ambience. She bit her lip in anticipation when he turned back to her, and he kissed her again, moving his lips gently against hers, his tongue nudging at her bottom lip, asking for permission. She obliged, opening her mouth wider for him to explore, but he only tangled lovingly with hers, releasing her after a few seconds.

“ I’m going to let you take a bath, darling. When you are finished,” he paused, watching her reaction,” You can come out with your towel on, if you’d be comfortable with that.”

She nodded shyly, watching him move from the room before unbuttoning her shirt. She stood in front of the mirror as she disrobed, dropping the material before examining the bites across her chest. As embarrassed as she was, she had admittedly enjoyed the sensation. She dropped down in the steaming bath with a sigh, allowing the intense heat to relax her sore muscles. She had no idea what Snape was allowing her to prepare for. She prayed he didn’t plan to take her tonight. She wasn’t sure she was ready for a such a thing. She worked the sponge over her body, inhaling the sweet, musky scent contemplatively. After several minutes, she stood, smoothing her hand over her body to see if she needed to use a spell to remove any hair, but it was all smooth much to her liking. She stepped out after that, draining the water and drying off gingerly with the towel. She took a breath, brushed her teeth and her hair and applied some lip balm to keep her lips from feeling dry. She adjusted the towel several times before she was comfortable enough with it to step out, and when she finally opened the door, her lips parted in awe. Severus had planted candles atop the furniture, and had even enchanted a few so they would float by and above the bed. She bit her lip, looking around frantically for him when he emerged through the bedroom door, keeping his eyes on her face and not allowing them to drift. She opened her mouth, unsure of entirely what to say.

“ You didn’t have to,” she began slowly, her voice gentle as her throat constricted anxiously, she gripped the towel harder.

“ I wanted to,” he assured her, stepping close, so much so that she could feel his breath fan across her still damp throat.

Her eyes were innocent and wide when he examined her neck, lifting his hand to glide his thumb gently across the angry red, now, mostly purple, marks. She noticed now that he had removed his cloak, and it rested at the foot of the bed, on top of the duvet which had already been pulled back.

“ Don’t apologize,” she soothed, seeing his mouth part to speak.

He glanced back to her eyes, moving them from her throat to sigh.

“ Lie down,” he ordered calmly, watching her body tense slightly at the thought.

He didn’t try to tell her what he planned. Though this was meant to be all about her, he didn’t want her to drop her guard, especially after what he did earlier. She took a breath and sidestepped him, lying down on her back like he had prompted her to do. He stepped closer, walking to the edge of the bed.

“ On your belly, darling,” he pressed, bending down to remove his shoes.

She obeyed, rolling so that she was now lying in the middle of the bed, her arms tucked beneath the pillow she rested her cheek on.

“ And close your eyes,” he commanded softly.

Darkness encompasses her as she did so. She trusted him. She could do this. It was his shifting on the bed that she felt first. It dipped beneath his weight and jostled again when he seemed to sit next to her. His fingers ghosted across the top of her back, up into her hair which threaded through carefully, loosening her bun but not letting it fall. His hands were warm and soft, now gently running them over her clean skin. He was applying more pressure now, slowly adding it bit by bit. When his hand reached the top of the towel, he tugged gently at it, untangling it from beneath her before pulling it loose. She bit her lip as he spread it wide and pulled it down enough to just cover her bottom. He folded it quietly, so that it rested lengthways over her backside. He had done it so carefully that it never uncovered her there, and she hoped her breasts weren’t visible from the sides. His hands lifted off of her for a moment before returning, one hand smoothing over the middle of her back when she felt a slow drizzle of warm liquid spill onto her skin. She breathed deeply, entranced in a daze as he kneaded her skin gently, now with both hands. A soft moan escaped her as he paid careful attention to her shoulders, working out the sore muscles there with firmness, making it ache in the most pleasant of ways. She let out a soft breath when he kissed her shoulder, his fingers swirling lightly over the small bruise on her back from where it had made impact with the wall. He continued this for several minutes, massaging her sore skin until he reached her lower back, cautiously dipping his hand beneath the towel an inch at a time. She didn’t try to stop him. It felt too good for her to care whether or not he continued further south. Eventually, he removed the towel all together, discarding it on the opposite side of his giant bed. Her breath sharpened when, in the midst of kneading the skin of her bottom, his fingers brushed lightly against her womanhood.

“ Another tryst for another day,” he assured her, his voice low and soothing.

“ Hmm,” She hummed vaguely in response, paying no mind as his hand began to work towards her sides, down the expanse of her long legs, and back up to her hips.

He kissed her jaw gently, then her cheek, then her lips, showering her with affections before sliding one hand beneath her ribs.

“ Would you like to turn over or do you want me to stop?” He asked in a whisper, half expecting her to tell him to continue with her back but go no further.

Her eyes opened, half-lidded as she glanced back at him shyly. She slid her hands down to her sides to lift herself and roll, exposing more of her milky complexion to him. He drew in a breath, his eyes meeting hers before fanning down her body. She moved to cover her breasts if nothing else, but he grasped her wrists gently and tugged them back down to her sides, drinking in the sight of her silky alabaster skin.

“ My, the word beautiful simply doesn’t encompass what you are, little one,” he said gently.

She watched him with sleepy eyes as he poured a bit more oil into his hands before rubbing them together. He glanced back at her, placing a gentle kiss to her lips as his hands wrapped around her throat, pressing gently and relaxing her neck. Her eyes fluttered shut again, surrendering to him in the most intimate of ways. His hands moved to her arms, all the way down to her hands, kneading her palm gently which felt more amazing that she ever would have thought. All of that time and tension spent writing seemed to vanish beneath his skilled fingers, wrestling out the knots all over her body. When he returned to her chest, his approach shifted to be more gentle. He massaged her breasts with gentle squeezing and kneading dragging his thumb over her nipples in such a tantalizing way. She moaned, her back arching beneath him. He didn’t think much of his actions as he bent down to tongue that marbling skin, but it did dawn on him when she writhed beneath him. His obliged her other breast with the same attentiveness, only stopping to trail more kisses down her belly and over her hips where the evidence of his fingers bruised the tender skin over her bone. She breathing steadily, her breasts rising fascinatingly so with each intake. He kissed the handprints gently, licking gently at them with his tongue. She felt so small in his greedy grasp, so warm and tender. 

“ Shh,” He soothed, smoothing his tongue over the bone as she whimpered. His palm cupped her womanhood delicately, running his hand gently over those lips.

“ For another day, darling,” he promised, nibbling carefully on the instep of her foot.

She groaned when he returned to her breasts, allowing her to get her fill of satisfaction there, with his gentle nibbling and toying. She did relax,  and gave in, not pushing him further. He sat her up, allowing her to lean against his chest for stability as she regained herself.

“ It’s your turn to explore, little one,” he whispered into her hair, and her eyes fluttered open, meeting his with apprehension.

“ I won’t bite,” he promised, kissing her jaw,” but I think you were right. The more comfortable you grow with your body and mine, the less anxious you will be when it comes time to consummate the bond. I want you to grow accustomed to the feeling of my skin beneath you, against you.”

She drew in a breath and nodded, threading her hair through his hair softly. She kissed his lips, tugging gently on his hair and twirling it like silk. He moved off of her, lifting her up and onto his lap as he took her place. She blushed when he handed her one of his shirts and a pair of panties. She slipped the items on carefully, but her pert nipples poked through the material prominently. He took a deep breath and leaned back against the headboard, closing his eyes as she fiddled with the top button of his shirt. She was sitting on his lap, one leg on either side of him as she tentatively undid the top two buttons. She trailed her hands over his firm chest. He tried not to think about it. He wanted to be soft when she first saw him, not wanting her to be scared of how he looked when stiff. She was small, there was no doubt about it. And not that he was haughty about it, but he had a rather large cock. His girth was wide and his length spanned more than a few mere inches. He was certainly larger than the average. She pressed gently on his black smock type dress shirt, and he obliged her easing his arms out of it before dropping it on the floor by the bed. His eyes stayed shut, patiently, for he knew if he looked at her, if he thought about what she was doing he was going to get exceptionally hard. He couldn’t frighten her. Not after his display earlier that day. She set out to work on the buttons of his white shirt, taking more time with these. She was surprised by the sight of skin. While she knew he was strong and felt firm beneath his clothing, she hadn’t any idea that he would be quite trim. The majority of his thickness was more from the way he was built than anything else. His skin was taut and smooth, with the exception of the slight definition of his muscles. He didn’t have abs, but she could feel the muscle as her fingers brushed against the fabric of his shirt. She let out a breath, noticing the pale scars marring his otherwise flawless skin.

“ Do not be afraid to ask questions, darling, I encourage your curiosities,” he said softly, his eyes open and watching her.

She bit her lip, tears blossoming in her eyes at the thought of him being lashed in such a manner. It was clear what they were after all. She bowed her head in silence and kissed each scar tenderly, surprising him to no end. She seemed to have no shortage of surprises. He lifted her chin and kissed her nose affectionately before she looked into his eyes, carefully tracing the raised marks with unmasked concern.

“ Who did this to you?”

“ A follower of the Dark Lord. His permanent reminder to not betray him,” he explained, lifting her chin.

He wiped the tears that fell from her eyes swiftly with his thumb.

“ Do not cry for me, little one,” he chided gently, stroking a hand down her neck before falling back to her waist.

She sniffled and pushed his shirt back off of his shoulders, revealing his muscular physique. She half expected to see hair on his chest, but, like her, it seems he didn’t care much for hair. She bit her tongue, wondering mutely if there was any further down. She glanced back up to his eyes watching her quizzically, but she felt safe beneath his gaze. Her cheeks flushed as she undid the button of his trousers, dragging the zipper down slowly. She drew in a breath, trying to steady her shaking hands as she tugged lightly on the material, glancing up at him with a small, anxious smile. He smirked lightly and used an incantation to remove his pants for her. She was tasked with nothing more than his underpants, and unsurprisingly, they were black. She hesitated at it, leaning up instead to trace idle circles over his scars. He was quiet, watching her with mild curiosity as she took in and absorbed the sight of his near naked body. She smoothed her hand over his torso, enjoying the feeling of his bare skin beneath her.

“ Would you like for me to remove them?” He asked after a few moments of her touching and gently prodding him.

She met his eyes with her tongue drawn between her teeth. He pulled her back up to him, cradling her hip carefully in his hand. Her eyes fluttered shut as he shifted, moving a top of her before placing a gentle kiss to her chin. He stood up from the bed, moving his discarded clothes on the floor so he had room to stand. She didn’t look when he slid the material down his legs. Her eyes stayed focused on his face, on the way his hair moved as he walked back towards her. He wasn’t some boy—he was a man, fully developed, firm and aged ripely. She watched his eyes as he sat back on the bed, closing his own before resuming his former position. She didn’t move towards, merely sat up to avoid seeing it. With his eyes still shut, he reached for her hand, which she gave to him gladly, watching fondly as he rested it over his heart. He lifted it a moment and kissed her wrist, promptly returning it to his favorite position. She recollected herself and her eyes rested on his chest. He kept his eyes shut still, allowing her to explore without feeling pressured. Tentatively, she glanced down, her eyes tracing slowly over his firm stomach before landing on his hips, and from there, she couldn’t stop. The v line leading to his manhood was subtle, but it was enough to draw her eyes down. A small gasp fell unintentionally from her lips as she drank in the sight of him. He was semi-hard, but his member rested against his thigh, thick and long. His eyes opened to see her shift down to sit at his waist, and though she was facing him, she didn’t realize that he’d opened his eyes. She was looking closely at it, not touching, simply observing. He saw her lips purse in uncertainty.

“ You are free to touch me,” he said gently,” but please do not feel as though you must.”

It had been the first time she’d heard him say please that she could recall, and it filled her with joy.

“ So, you’re supposed to—that is supposed to fit inside me?” She squeaked nervously.

The sound of her sweet voice, the innocence in her words, it made his groin stir. Her eyes widened when it twitched and she eyed him cautiously.

“ Yes,” he answered calmly, still sitting up.

She swallowed,” I don’t think it will.”

“ It will,” he assured her light-heartedly,” You will stretch and then, after we’ve concluded such activities, you’ll return to normal.”

She cleared her throat. Sensing her discomfort, Snape used a charm to make the bottle of wine he’d all but forgot about, appear from the refrigerator, along with two glasses. He took it and poured one for her, turning it slowly in his hands. She accepted it, thanking him quietly before taking a big swig.

“ Do you think,” she blushed heavily,” that you could show me?”

He nearly choked on his wine, inclining his head to examine her for a brief moment.

“ Show you what, exactly?” He dared ask.

She reached a tentative hand forward, leaning her side against his hip to support herself as she examined his cock, her head blocking his view. He couldn’t see her face anymore, but he knew she was blushing terribly. He screwed his eyes shut as her fingers traced lightly over his hip bone, edging closer and closer to his member. She doesn’t know what she’s doing, he told himself. Let her figure it out. He knew he was growing beneath her stare as she reached his base. She was baffled by his lack of hair, clearly intense grooming skills.

“ How—How I, well,” she paused, seemingly unable to formulate words.

“ How you’ll stretch to accompany me?” He supplied vaguely, biting his knuckle as trailed her fingers lightly over his uncircumcised skin.

He twitched at his own words, briefly imagining what it would feel like to feel her walls close around him as he slipped into her delicious heat.

“ Yes,” she breathed,” How are you getting bigger?”

Her voice was filled with incredulity. Rachel hadn’t said anything about that, it seems.

“ When you become aroused, your body lubricates your entrance, to make it easier and less painful for something to slide in and out of you. When a man becomes aroused, his, for lack of better word, manhood enlarges as blood pumps to his extremity, it’s called an erection. It’s necessary for sex.”

She huffed, her breath fanning against his cock. He gritted his teeth to hold back a groan, not wanting her to feel like she should do anything. Still, and much to his chagrin, her hand wrapped around him, her thumb gliding up the slide.

“ Does that hurt, getting an erection?” She asked.

He couldn’t stop the soft groan that escaped his throat when his finger passes over the top, brushing over his hole.

“ No, though it can feel quite restrictive.”

“ So,” she paused,” You’re getting aroused right now?”

He left out a humorless laugh,” A beautiful young woman just allowed me to caress and kiss her very enticing body, and is now sitting against me, in my shirt, touching my—yes, I am very aroused and growing more so by the minute.”

Her cheeks were on fire when she looked back up at him, twisting lightly so she could see his face. His expression was firm.

“ I enjoyed that,” she whispered, feeling him get impossibly harder under her hand.

He still hadn’t reached his full potential, but he could see the darkness in her eyes, the lust.

“ As did I, and If I weren’t so keen on keeping you pure for a while longer, I’d do it again, though next time, I’m not sure I’ll stop myself. Not when you’re writhing beneath me, begging for more,” he responded hoarsely, his voice deep and almost a growl.

She shivered at his words, looking away,” You mean like...what we talked about before? Oral sex?”

She was genuine, not intentionally turning him on. He knew that, but it certainly didn’t feel like that. He smirked lightly,” Oh, yes.”

She flushed and, not releasing him, moved to sit up when she accidentally stroked him, pulling his foreskin over the head. He hissed, closing his eyes at the friction, after being held in her warm hand for so long he hadn’t expected her to move.

“ What did I do?” She asked in a frightened panic, examining the skin with wide eyes.

He laughed lightly, a deep chuckle that, for whatever reason, pushed him to his full erection. Perhaps it had been the tightening in his belly.

“ You did nothing wrong,” he assured her, moving a hand to grasp himself and stroke the skin back down.

He groaned lightly at the feeling, momentarily forgetting her presence to give himself a light squeeze.

“ Oh,” she realized shortly,” you liked that.”

That time it wasn’t a question.

“ It’s the same motion that takes place inside of yo—Merlin,” he snapped.

She had stroked him back up again, this time dragging her finger over his tip.

“ How does it go back to normal?” She inquired, ignoring his little outburst.

“ Either you let it return by showering in cold water, which cools down the skin and makes the blood stop constricting, or you find release.”

She moved, straddling his thigh so she could get a better view of him. She cupped his balls curiously, and he inwardly cursed himself for relinquishing his body to her for her to torture. He gritted his teeth, watching her toy with him.

“ What—“

“ Balls,” he breathed, startling her slightly,” They’re my balls, and they store semen.”

His breathing was ragged as she rolled one carefully in her hand, dragging her thumb across the smooth surface.

“ Show me what to do,” she whispered, making his eyes widen.

“ What?” He uttered, eyes darkened.

“ Show me what to—how to,” she sighed,” Show me.”

He closed his hand gently around hers and move it to wrap around his cock. She bit her tongue as she watched him move her hand, firmly grasping himself and dragging it down his length. His eyes were closed, opening only to watch for a moment. She squeezed his balls gently in her other hand, watching his head fall back and groan in pleasure.

“ I always thought it was meant to hurt,” she mused to herself, watching him writhe and his cock tighten beneath her.

After a few seconds, his hand released her, moving, instead to the softness of her hair that he gripped gently. She applied a bit more pressure closer to the tip, paying close attention to the underside of his head. Her eyes widened when the grip in her hair tightened and a smear of a creamy white substance appeared on his tip. She touched it apprehensively amidst her firm, slow strokes and found it to a slimy yet sticky substance. He groaned at her continued motions, and pushed her hair back from her face, wanting to watch her expressions.

“ You can—stop,” he drawled lowly, feeling his release coming.

“ But you haven’t—“

“ Stop,” he ordered firmly, moving her hand away from him.

She elbowed him cautiously out of the way, and continued pumping. He grunted.

“ I’m going to ejaculate,” he warned, closing his eyes tightly and releasing a breath.

He fell back against the pillows, allowing himself the sweet peace that came with release. She watched in fascination as his white cream pushed from his head, gushing over her hand and onto his belly. While he was seated, eyes shut and laid back, she raised her hand and dipped her tongue in the substance, humming softly at the surprisingly decent flavor. His eyes snapped open, and she quickly hid her hand, her cheeks flaming in a heavy blush. He shook his head lightly at her, glancing down briskly to see himself begin to soften. He met her eyes with gentle warning and used a spell to clean themselves, and he pulled her to his chest.


	17. Chapter Seventeen

It was especially difficult getting out of bed that morning. After spending the whole night cuddling up against Severus, she had felt so warm, so safe and loved. It was something she hadn’t experienced in a really long time. But then, everything came rushing back to her. The love potion, the pain. The biting and undressing...all in the hallway where students watched him devour her. She glanced over at him as he sat, drinking his coffee and glancing through his lesson plans. 

“ Severus,” she called softly, making his eyes dart up to land on her as she tugged on her cloak. 

The love bites could be seen around her neck, even with her collar and tie on. His expression hardened. As much as the sight of his teeth marks on her neck aroused him, he was far too upset at the realization to get hard. The scene in the hallway the other day had left him frenzied with lust, and he had nearly taken her then and there. Of course, he would slipped his hand into her panties, as he almost had, ensure that she was ready and stretched for him, but it would’ve been their first time. It would have been her first time. And something as trivial as a love potion made him lose all control and throw out all his morals and desires to care for her. 

“I’m not upset with you,” she assured him, walking around the table to grab his hand and stroke her thumb across the back of it gently,” I just...What do we do? Or say? And how should we act?” 

He swallowed and stood, tugged her into his chest and held her close. She hummed and wrapped her arms around his waist, letting him pet her hair and wrap her up in his warmth. 

“I will go on with my day as though nothing has happened, until you come to my class. Then,” he whispered, leaning his head down so that his lips brushed the shell of her ear, making her shiver,” I will ask you to stay after class, and as everyone is walking out, I’ll offer you a formal apology.” 

“Is that all,” she breathed, leaning into him. 

He chuckled into her neck,”And I might add a few to your collection.” 

“Mm,” she giggled. 

He pulled away from her and held her waist gently, before resting his forehead against hers. 

“You’re lovely, so lovely. And I have been blessed to have you in my life,” he murmured. 

She flushed at his kind words,” You’ve been nothing but good for me, you know. You’ve helped with so many things in my life. It helps that you’re quite handsome yourself.” 

He seemed surprised, as he leaned back to examine her face. Handsome? Him? She frowned at his adverse reaction to the compliment. 

“Severus, you might not meet the traditional ideals of male beauty,” she scoffed,” but neither do I. You’re intelligent, strong, kind, and gentle. You have beautiful eyes that, even as dark as they are, swirl with your intellect and emotions. They’re captivating. And your lips...they’re soft and warm. And don’t even get me started on your hair. It’s fun to play with, and so soft. You’re handsome. It’s okay to admit that to yourself.” 

He closed his eyes and pressed his lips to hers once, twice, and then pulled away reluctantly. He wanted to take her back to bed, to please her like he should have the night before, but he refrained. 

“You’re an angel, darling. Wait a few moments before you leave. I’ll head to the Great Hall first and try to head off as much of this as I can. Albus might ask me to give a brief statement to the students, I’m not sure.” 

She nodded and smoothed his hair down slightly, making his lip curl upwards at the gesture. 

“Okay,” she said softly, and he stroked her jaw once before returning to take another swallow of his coffee. 

He did just as promised. He arrived to the Great Hall about five minutes before her, and she sneaked in behind a group of Durmstrang boys. She’d intentionally left her hair down to hide the love bites, and she blushed at the thought of how far down they went, especially after his careful attention last night. She was grateful for her long hair and a cloak, as the combination seemed to hide them well unless she lifted her head too much. The students were still whispering about the Potions Master, commenting on how he acted as though nothing happened with his stiff posture and emotionless expression. Alyssa, though she wanted to defend him, knew that doing so would only worsen the situation. 

So, reluctantly, she kept quiet and seated herself by Dani, doing her best to ignore everyone’s incessant chattering about her and Professor Snape. Dani offered her a sheepish smile and glanced back down at her breakfast. As far as anyone else knew, Alyssa still roomed with Dani, so acting dramatically might have been suspicious. Dani was so smart, and Alyssa has never been more grateful to have her as a friend. She let out a sigh as she scooped some fruit up and placed it on her plate, along with some toast. Tomas sat across from them, Stefan placed directly at his side. 

“Hey, How are you, erm, holding up?” Tomas inquired, placing his hand gently on top of hers. 

She flinched at the gesture because she didn’t quite like being touched by anyone other than Snape lately, and, well, he interpreted it differently. 

“ I can’t believe he’s getting away with treating you like that,” he scoffed, shaking his head. 

She sighed,” No, Tomas, I’m fine. It’s just, well I guess I’m still not over everything else. You know, my father, the bathroom incident. And this, it’s just a bit much. But, that being said, Professor Snape really isn’t responsible—“

“Like hell he is,” snarled Stefan. 

She rolled her eyes. 

“No, not really. The twins, Fred and George, doused his lunch in a love potion with my hair. I don’t know how they got,” she frowned,” but I guess the thought it would be a funny prank after hearing about my dancing with him as a part of the demonstration. They altered some of the ingredients to make it tasteless and odorless, since Professor Snape easily would’ve detected it otherwise. Anyway, the changing of ingredients provoked an aggressive...” 

“Sexual reaction,” Dani finished for her knowingly, and Alyssa nodded, taking a bite of toast. 

“ So I heard. Still, he clearly hurt you. It was very inappropriate,” he shrugged defensively,” there should be some sort of penalty.” 

“Don’t you think the humiliation of it is enough?” Dani retorted sharply,” I mean, students already dislike him, not to mention the impression he no doubt gave Durmstrang and Beauxbaton after they learned of this little interaction. I imagine Dumbledore’s going to handle this as best he can. But, the potion nearly has the same effect as the Cruciatus curse.” 

Alyssa smiled fondly at Dani for coming to his defense, something that, in this position, she couldn’t exactly do. It went on like that for the majority of the day, unfortunately. Students would whisper, point and laugh at Alyssa, or make comments about what happened, and each and every time, Dani would come flying to their defense. More often than not, she’d point out some other drama going on behind the scenes with whoever made accusations, and it would embarrass them enough to pipe down and leave her alone. The worst, of course, came when she entered Professor Snape’s classroom. The sheets and snide remarks echoed quietly, but seemed to grow silent when Snape pushed through the doors. The eyes of the students seemed to only grow in size when he acted as though nothing had happened. He treated her with the same amount of reverence and professionalism as he always had, offering her no special attention, but not ignoring her either. It confused her classmates and made them squirm. How could he be so void of...of any emotion? Yesterday, he was tearing at a student’s clothes and immobilizing her to have his wicked way with her, and now today, as she sat in his classroom, so covered in the evidence of his tough love, he seemed completely in control. 

A particularly rowdy boy from Gryffindor shot his hand up, tauntingly, towards the end of the lesson. They’d just learned about another potion, and Professor Snape was turning the chalkboard over to reveal all of the neatly scribbled ingredients, when he turned back to see the hand swaying in the air. He narrowed his eyes slightly, not thrilled to be dealing with the boy whom he knew was usually, troubling direct. 

“Yes, Mr. Hall?” He inquired darkly, an edge of warning to his voice. 

“ Professor, do you think you could tell us about Armortentia again? I think I could use a refresher before I take my O.W.L.,” he smirked. 

Alyssa swallowed and shot an annoyed look in his direction. Snape seemed to get angry as well, only, he hid it much better. 

“Of course, Mr. Hall,” he returned tightly, his eyes shifting to find Alyssa briefly. 

She bit her tongue to keep from saying anything, but he seemed to read her expressions well. 

“Armortentia is the most powerful love potion ever created. It causes the drinker to experience a strong infatuation or obsession with the first person he sees. Or, if a strand of someone’s hair was added into it, that person would become the object of their desire. For obvious reasons, the potion is incredibly dangerous,” he explained, weaving threateningly between the aisles of desks with ease. 

“Although the drinker is aware of his actions, it is nearly impossible to grasp control of oneself. Thus, when the drinker awakes from these effects, he is often left aloof and embarrassed,” he continued sharply. 

“The potion is very advanced, one wrong ingredient, and it can become a poison. Too much of one can lead to explosion. Too little of another may cause adverse affects such as hallucinations and excruciating pain, to something as minor as a nervous tick. But, what’d you’d really like to know, Mr. Hall, is what led to my violent outburst with Miss Hellstrand yesterday, isn’t it?” he snapped, standing directly before his desk now. 

The boy swallowed and slumped back against his chair at the flaming anger that appeared in the Professor’s eyes. He quirked his lip slightly, a frightening and worrisome gesture, and turned back to glance at Alyssa, his eyes narrowed in on the collar of her shirt. 

“Stand, Miss Hellstrand, come to front,” he ordered, making her eyes widen and her cheeks flush. 

She pushed back from her chair anxiously, glancing to Dani for support before obeying. She walked to the front of the classroom, biting her cheek to keep her jaw from wobbling shyly. Professor Snape approached her slowly, taking his eyes up and down her quaking figure, though no one but him seemed to notice it. He offered her a look of assurance before resuming his hardened features. 

“ The Weasley twins thought that trading out ingredients for more mild ones, odorless and tasteless roots, would not change the potions properties. While the essence of Armortentia remained, the infatuation with a certain person—the kindness, the tenderness the potion generally offers, did not transfer. My mind was fogged with inappropriate thoughts of young Miss Hellstrand here, but on a much darker level. Had my attempts gone unchecked,” he sighed, stepping behind her, his fingers grasping the material of her robe and tugging down, the thickness of the hood balled up around her neck falling away,” I wouldn’t have stopped until she was no longer breathing.” 

She shifted her eyes to his, shock written across her features. He tilted his head, not hiding the truth from her. 

“ You see, the love aspect of Amrortentia shifted into lust. And, I supposed the longer the potion wore on, the more intense that feeling became. My thoughts were clouded with jealousy. If I could not have her, no one could. And someone could easily take her if I let her live after our tryst. My judgement clouded, I would have taken Miss a Hellstrand against her will, and then I would have killed her, to ensure no one else could ever tarnish that...lustful bond.” 

He brushed her hair back from her neck to reveal the purple bruises, some baring his teeth imprints, and others his fingers. The students gasped collectively, surprised to see that perhaps he was telling the truth. He would have killed her. 

“ Meddling with a potion is quite possibly, more dangerous than you might ever think. Miss Hellstrand and myself were lucky that the Headmaster came to us when he did. The actions of the Weasley boys were...no laughing matter. What was meant to be a harmless prank, could have easily landed them in Azkaban for the rest of their lives. I advise you not to take Potions so lightly. Thank you, Miss Hellstrand,” he said quietly, righting her cloak and nudging her back to his seat. 

After that, no one had anything chiding to say about the incident. And when Professor Snape asked her to stay after class when the students were dismissed, no one batted an eye, expecting as much. He stood in front of his desk, waiting patiently for her to reach him. While students were still scurrying, thrusting their things in their bags to move on with their day, he apologized. 

“Miss Hellstrand, I know we spoke yesterday about what happened. Again, I would like to offer my most sincere apologies. Had I any indication that my food was tampered with, I never would have taken part in it. As it is, I cannot reverse time and stop myself from hurting you. I can, however, learn from this opportunity. The staff meals will be, from here on out, will be tested to reveal any magic that may be altering it.” 

His voice faltered when the last student exited, and he continued talking until he no longer heard footsteps. His eyes fell to her neck, and he sighed, shaking his head lightly. She smiled assuringly and took a deep breath, clutching her chest worriedly. 

It felt like she’d just been stabbed.


End file.
